One difference
by Parissnow
Summary: what would happen if Tris had one change at the beginning of her story. This is what would happen if Tris lost her parents at fourteen. Being forced to stay in a home she is not wanted Beatrice has known one thing in the last two years. She has to leave. Contains minor swearing.
1. Chapter 1

II stare at my reflection as I pull my hair into its usual abnegation knot. Not out of vanity but out of longing. I imagine my mother behind me trimming my hair completely focused on her task, allowing me to sneak a peak of myself with out her knowing. Back then I used to love seeing the changes three months had made, not anymore. I stare at the reflection wishing to see the child I once was, but she's no where in sight. I used to look young back then, younger than my actual age of fourteen. Now at sixteen I appear older the pains of life wearing me down. My doe eyes lost their innocents years ago. Sighing I close the mirror and head down stairs where Caleb and Marcus wait for me. "Today's the day Beatrice." Marcus says.

"Yep." I reply.

"You better hope you get abnegation I will not stand for less." He warns.

Today's the day of mine and Caleb's aptitude test, it shows us the faction we belong in. Not that it matters to me for the past two years I've known I'll leave this place. There's nothing left for me here.

"Since when have I cared about what you stand for?" I say lifting an eyebrow.

"I see your manners are still lacking, maybe we need another lesson tonight."

"Yeah one for the road can't hurt now can it? Hey Caleb we should go."

He nods grabbing his bag and we walk out the door. Leaving Marcus to fume.

"You shouldn't anger him like that Beatrice, it will only make the beating twice as long." Caleb whispers. I roll my eyes at him.

"Caleb we both know that I can't help it." He looks at me with a mixture of doubt and sympathy. We both know its a lie, a careful construction. Marcus uses to work with our father, before he passed. Marcus was a very influential political leader in abnegation as such he was know as one of the most selfless men in the faction, leading him to take in the children his coworker and wife left behind when they were brutally murdered. But there was a catch you see, his son left before we moved in and within the first week we knew why. Marcus liked to play a nice little game with a belt. If I had it my way I would have knocked him out by now.( yeah I definitely can't stay abnegation.) But if I did that me and Caleb would be homeless, and most likely factionless. So I went for the other option, I piss him off. Its a Stella method really, why hit Caleb the perfect abnegation when he can spend his time trying to teach me to shut my mouth, to get me to be the perfect little abnegation woman? Its not that bad really, a few whips and being locked in a closet to keep the one person I have left safe. I'd do it anyday.

Eventually the bland grey abnegation houses leave view as we near the hub.

"So aptitude test today. You nervous?"

"Terrified."He states.

"Why? We both know your a great abnegation. You'll be fine." I say patting him on the back.

"Yeah maybe. I'll miss you though." He replys.

I don't reply. We walk in silence until we have to separate for classes. I watch him walk away not allowing the guilt of leaving him on his own influence my choice. With a sigh I head to the window watching the dauntless students jump out of the train. That'll be me soon.

...

The classes go by quickly and soon enough I'm waiting in the cafeteria for my name to be called. I sit between Caleb and Susan watching a group of Amity girls clap and sing. Amity are the peaceful faction, always happy, definitely not for me. We wait in silence like the good little abnegation's we are. Caleb's name is called and he nervously stands. I whisper good luck to him before he runs to hold the door for the other children in his group. I smile, he has nothing to worry about. He used to lecture me on selfless deeds when we were younger, but what was second nature to him was anything but to me. I never really belonged here. As I wait for him to return I stare at the dauntless group, they're laughing loudly and playing cards, care free. That's what I want. Ten minutes later Caleb returns pale and shaking.

"Are you alright?" I ask worriedly. He meagerly nods and wraps his arms around his body. Before I can question him further my name is called. I stand slowly and glance at Caleb one more time before following the rest of the group. I'm ushered into room six one of the only rooms without an abnegation volunteer. I cock an eyebrow at the dauntless woman who waited for me. She wears all black but seemed pretty tame compared to other dauntless. She turns closing the door and there I see she has a tattoo, a hawk I think. Mirrors cover the rooms walls and I look away quickly. Staring at my hands and the calluses they have. These aren't abnegation hands.

"What is it with abnegations and mirrors?" The woman questions.

"Vanity's frowned upon." I shrug.

She stares at me before walking to the chair and motioning me to sit.

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt. My names Tori by the way." She says as she readies the machine on my right.

"Okay, Hey why the hawk?" I question.

"Never met a curious abnegation before." She chuckles.

"It's a gift." She out right laughs at this.

"Its a symbol for the sun. Figured if I always had it on me I wouldn't be afraid of the dark." she says after she calmed down.

Now its my turn to laugh. "You're afraid of the dark?"

"WAS" She says defensibly. Attaching wires to me. "Now drink this miss not so abnegation." I let myself laugh once more before downing the vial.

Within seconds the setting changes.I stand in the cafeteria again. But all the long tables are empty. In front of me I see two bowls one with cheese another with a knife.

Behind me a woman's voice says "choose."

"why?" I ask.

"choose" she repeats.

"helpful." I huff. Turning behind me, but no ones there I turn back to the table. "What will I do with it?"

"choose!" she yells.

I stand there crossing my arms and tapping my foot in annoyance. "Is that all you can say?" I moan.

"Have it your way." she says.

The baskets disappear "damn." I hear a door squeak and turn to see who it is. Only its more of a what. "Double damn." I say as a dog with a pointed nose crouches and creeps towards me. "I take it you're not a friendly." I whisper as if understanding its lips part to form a deep throaty growl showing its very very pointy canines. Yep should have taken the knife. I think of my options. I could run but the dog will be faster, I could wrestle him to the ground but I kinda like my arms without bite marks. Could I use the tables? Damn it should have got the knife. Wait what was it that Caleb said? "Marcus is like a dog don't look him in the eye." Its like a challenge or something. Okay looking away. If looking him in the eye is a challenge what's submissive? I rack my brain as I see the dog closing in from the corner of my eye. Think. Silently I slide to my knees and make myself as small as possible. I hear the dog creep closer and I try to steady my breathing. I feel his breath on my neck before something wet and slobbery touches my cheek. I look up and see the dog staring at me. Its growling stopped. Slowly I scratch him behind the ear. "Okay your bark is so worse than your bite." I grin. I rise leaving it confused by the lack of petting but it seems calm now. I wipe my hands on my leg removing the sweat they accumulated. A child is suddenly present in the corner of the room. "Puppy!" She squeals running towards the dog.

"Kid so not a good." But before I can finish the dog is off snapping and snarling towards the girl. I don't think, I run and just before the dog can pounce I jump forcing it to the floor. I close my eyes and wait for the bite. But it doesn't come. I peak through one eye to see the dog gone as is the girl. It takes me longer than I'm proud of to realize I'm on a bus. I hold on to the pole. I see a severely scarred man holding a newspaper, well I say holding, more like crumbling."Do you know this guy?" He asks tapping a picture on the paper. The headline is "Brutal murderer finally apprehended," I inwardly cringe. Kind of a sore spot. I rub my neck as I comprehend the picture, he seems formiliar but I can't place it. He has a plain face and beard. I think of telling him, then realize I really don't want to be candor. "Well do you?" He asks angrily.

"Nope" I say popping the p.

"You're lying." He says.

"Am I really?"

"If you know him, you can save me!" He shouts.

I shrug. "Wish I could help."

I wake up back in the chair. To tori taking wires from my head. I wait for her to say something, anything really about the test. But she doesn't, just continues removing the wires. I sit forward and wipe my hands against my legs. I must have messed up. "Well that was intense." I state.

"Intense is the word, I'll be right back." I wave her off. Reminding myself that the test doesn't matter. I'm dauntless. Its what I choose. Still I hug my knees to my chest as I wait. Wondering how I managed to fail a test no one can fail at almost makes me laugh, almost. The minutes tick by until finally Tori returns. "Sorry to worry you." She says standing by my feet fidgeting. Wow I must have really messed up. "What was my result?" I ask. She tenses at my question. That really fills me with confidence.

"Beatrice your results were inconclusive." She says. "Usually four of the five factions are ruled out of the test. You only ruled out two."

I stare at her astonished. "Two?"

"Yes, Amity was ruled out because you showed no distaste to the knife, Candor was ruled out because of your dishonesty." I can't stop staring. I already knew Amity and Candor weren't for me but three results? "So you're saying I'm Abnegation, Erudite and dauntless?" I look at her like she's insane.

"Yes, people with these results have a name, they're known as divergent."

"So this has happened before? Why haven't I heard about it?" I ask accusingly.

"Its very rare and under no circumstances should you share this with anyone. Do you understand?"

"Why?"

"Its very dangerous, I've written your results as abnegation I suggest you go home, you have a lot of thinking to do." She says.

"Okay." I respond walking out the door thinking how ridiculous this stupid test is.

When I get home Marcus is waiting for me.

"What where your results?" He questions.

"Oh my god do you ever work?"

"Don't make me repeat myself Beatrice." He warns. I walk past him and grab a muffin.

"I'm not allowed to tell you, Remember?" I say before taking a bite. He stands from his chair and walks towards me.

"Which one belt or closet?" I sign. It only angers him further which I take as a small victory.

"Turn around and lift your shirt." He states. I do as he says while he removes his belt. He lashes the belt across my back and I stifle a scream. I will not let him have the satisfaction. He repeats the preceding in a rhythmic pattern while I count them, my back getting wetter and wetter with each blow. I hear the door open on the 25th whip. And here Caleb's footprints. Before Marcus can hear I force a laugh. "What's wrong Marcus realize I'm not scared of you? Because I'll never be scared of you." And its the truth, he's a frail man I could take him anyday. But that's not the point the point is that made his attention stay focused on me. I hear Caleb's footsteps lead upstairs and I sigh in relief even through the pain. I've done it. I've kept Caleb safe for these two years. It gets to the 50th whip when I feel my consciousness slipping. "Hope you enjoyed it, its the last time old man." I whisper before I let the blackness engulf me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just wanted to say sorry for the long time it took me to update. I lacked interwebs, so from now on I should be able to update every day, anyway hope you enjoy and thanks for the reviews!**

**Oh and I don't own anything to do with Divergent or the franchise and all that dealio. **

Chapter 2

I wake up in the closet. Smiling when I realize my wounds have been treated. Bless Caleb, I'll miss him. I wait in the enclosed space until Marcus finally unlocks the door.

I walk past him and go into my room to put on fresh clothes, the last time I'll wear abnegation grey. Can't say I'll miss it. I knock on Caleb's door and walk in seeing him pacing. "whats wrong?" I say as he stops and looks at me.

"Nothing" He murmurs. I give him a doubtful look.

"You'll be fine you know." He nods but I can see his nervousness. I decide to change the topic. "Thanks by the way. For swiping the key, very selfless of you." I say nudging his shoulder. He gives me a weary smile. I put my arms around him in a hug. A very unabnegation gesture. "I'll miss you, you know. I need you to promise me no matter what you'll look after yourself." I get a proper reaction this time as he hugs me back.

"I promise." He whispers. "I'd ask you the same but we both know with your mouth that wont happen."

I laugh and let go. "Okay we better go. Marcus has to be nice today, should be fun." I smile. And we head to our choosing ceremony.

Its not till i'm on the bus and see the hub that I realize how much trouble i'm in. I start shaking and continuously wipe my palms. All I hear is divergent repeating itself in my head. Soon my nails are chewed to the brim. I follow Caleb off the bus and together we look like nervous wrecks. He gives me a curious glance as we head towards the stairs but says nothing. For that I am grateful. We walk up the stairs with the rest of the abnegation's choosing today, its crowded but orderly. When we finally reach the room were shuffled towards the abnegation seats. There we wait for the decision that will decide the rest of our lives. I stare at the bowls in the center of the room and squeeze Caleb's hand which he returns. Marcus quiets the crowd down and begins the speech. I zone out after already hearing this hundreds of times. When he begins to read the names I look at Caleb squeezing his hand once more. "I love you no matter what." I say before turning back to watch a young man choose. Eventually Marcus calls out Caleb Prior and as he walks down I take a deep breath. Marcus gives him a forced smile and hands him the knife. He wavers slightly as he cuts his hand before letting his blood drop into the water. My mouth drops. Erudite. My perfect abnegation brother, but is he really? Why hadn't I seen it. His thirst for knowledge? I hear people whisper among the abnegation's calling him a traitor and how sorry they are for Marcus and it takes all I have to stay seated. Eventually order is restored. "Beatrice Prior."

I stand my legs shaking as I walk towards the bowl. But when I see Marcus I give him a big grin as I reach for the knife. Without flinching I pierce the skin on my hand and take it to the coals. They sizzle as my blood lands and I hear gasps in the audience. I wink at Marcus before sitting with the dauntless. As they clap me on the shoulder and whisper congratulations in my ear. I spend the rest of the time ignoring the abnegation's murmurs and cheering with the dauntless until its time to go. The dauntless leave first. As we walk past erudite I give Caleb a proud grin which he returns whole heartily before I'm shoved forward. From now on I'm officially on my own.

Apparently abnegation aren't the only faction to use the however seem to use them a bit differently. Jumping down them performing stunts and whooping at each other. when we are finally down them everyone breaks in to a run. I follow suit and soon enough I'm in the front of the crowd racing for the train station. I've never imagined how great it would feel to run freely, for the past two years I had to train my body at night away from the prying eyes of the abnegation people. Otherwise I'll be scolded for indulgence. To me dauntless wasn't just a faction, it was freedom. And that was what I longed for. "Damn stiff, nice running skills." A tanned boy with a contagious grin said. He sat down, trying to catch his breath. "Thanks, nice breathing skills." I grinned offering him a hand up. He took it whilst rolling his eyes. As he stood I realized how handsome he was and my grin grew as I folded my arms. "I'm Uriah." He smiled. I racked my brain. Beatrice seemed too stiff for my new found freedom.

"Tris." I answered shaking his hand.

"Well Tris time to see if you can jump as well as you can run." He says as the train comes past us. I run for it jumping into the nearest door. Uriah following. "I'll take that as a yes" he murmurs. I laugh as I help a candor girl into the train.

"you alright?" I ask as she leans against the wall. Shes tall, with dark brown skin and short hair, quite pretty actually. She nods, smiling at me.

"I'm Christina."

"Tris." I reply.

"You sure you're a stiff?" She asks boldly. I hear Uriah chuckling behind me.

"Well I'm sure you're Candor." I say joining Uriah with a laugh of my own. I fall to a seat patting my side for her to sit. Uriah joins sitting on my other side.

"Any idea where we're going?" Christina asks. I shrug.

"Dauntless headquarters I guess, no idea where it is though."

"Does anyone? Its like they pop out of a hole or something." She says shaking her head and grinning. It causes a loud hey! from Uriah and we all burst out laughing once more.

"They're jumping off!" Someone shouts.

Causing me, Christina and Uriah to stop mid conversation. The train has slowed down in the past few minutes and I watch as the dauntless in the cars ahead jump as the train passes a roof top. That just so happens to be seven stories up. Spectacular. The thought of jumping fills me with excitement and I start stretching my muscles eagerly. Christina on the other hand looked terrified. We walk towards the line that has started to form by the door.

"We have to jump off too then." A candor girl with a large nose says.

"Great because that makes sense Molly leap off a train to a roof." A candor boy replies. I stare at Christina as her whole body shakes. I raise an eyebrow did they really not expect this?I take her hand. "Together?" I whisper. She nods her head and before she can back out I begin racing for the door. We launched off the train landing on the roof thankfully. I landed on my feet allowing me to keep Christina upright. "See no damage done." I tell her as we walk to the other transfers.

"Listen up! I'm Max! One of the dauntless leaders." A man shouts at the other end of the roof. He's dark skinned with wrinkles and graying hair."Several stories below is our members entrance, if you don't have the will to jump you don't deserve to be here. Now who's first?"

"You want us to jump off a ledge?" A transfer from erudite asks.

"Yes." He looks amused.

"Is there water at the bottom?"

"Who knows." He says raising his eyebrows.

I Look around the other initiates they all avoid eye contact and try to make themselves as small as possible or try getting invisible dirt off their clothes. My mouth jerks upward. I take my jumper off and chuck it on the floor before heading to the ledge, Max looks surprised but says nothing. I turn towards the other initiates giving them a wink before back flipping off the ledge. I still heard their gasps halfway down. I let the air whip my hair enjoying the feeling of flying through it. Until I hit something. Hard. I cringe as my cuts from last night protest over the sudden object. As it gives way and cradles me I realize I'm on a net.I couldn't help it the laughter hit me again this time at full force. Jumping on a train, Jumping off a building, this is the life I want. When I calm down I see hands stretching out and I take the ones closest to me, I use them to roll off the net landing on my feet. I look up to see a man with a spare upper lip and a full lower. His eyes are dark blue and deadly familiar. He stares at me with an arched eyebrow. " What did you get pushed?" He questions tauntingly. His voice deep and masculine.

"Yeah, oh woahest me woahest me. Can you hold me I think I might faint." I say my voice dripping with sarcasm as I roll my eyes. I see the ghost of a smile reach his lips but I blink and its gone. "Whats your name?"

"Tris." I say firmly.

"First jumper Tris!"

"Can't believe it, first jumper a stiff? Unheard of." A woman with dark hair and facial piercings tells him. As the other people in the room begin to congratulate me.

"Who knows she might just surprise you." He smirks while looking me up and down. The sound of a high scream turns everyone's attention back to the net Christina lays there, her eyes open wider than I thought possible. But second jumper? The girl has more guts than I thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Figured I'd post another chapter, because you know lacking in the social points today.**

Chapter 3

When all the initiates where here the man and the girl I think her names Lauren lead us down a narrow tunnel. Its made of stone with lights at different intervals so I rely on the crowd to guide me most of the stop suddenly making me bump into the erudite in front. "This is where we part, Dauntless born follow me." The woman says leading them in a different direction. As they leave I study the transfers. Nine of us in total I'm the only abnegation unsurprisingly. The rest are Erudite or Candor. All I know is telling the truth all the time takes more bravery than I have. The man clears his throat gaining our attention. "Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks I will be your instructor, my name is Four."

Christina asks "Four, like the number?"

"Yes" he replies. "Problem?" Christina shakes her head and he carries on."Good, were about to go to the pit, which you will learn to love..."

"The pit? Clever name." Christina snickers. Four walks up and moves his head close to hers staring at her aggressively.

"Whats your name?"

"Christina." She whimpers.

"Well Christina if I wanted to deal with Candor smart mouths I would have joined their faction." He hisses. "First lesson you will learn is to keep your mouth shut."

Four heads to the end of the tunnel and we all follow in silence."What a jerk." Christina mumbles.

"I guess he just didn't appreciate your clever wit." I say causing her to stick her tongue out at me. I poke her in the ribs and continue walking. We reach the pit and finally understand the name. There's no other word to describe it. Its a huge underground cavern with places built in for food, clothing and other activities. I hear Christina squeal and have to suppress an eye roll, out of all the people I picked a girly girl. Brilliant. The pit was full of people dressed in black shouting and talking animatedly. Children running around dodging bodies to try to tag the others. Four waves us forward and we continue to an iron barrier, the roar of water slapping against rocks fills my ears and Four has to shout to be heard. "This is the chasm. It reminds us there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy, A dare devil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and will happen again, you've been warned." Me and Christina turn and stare at each other, completely shocked. Four turns and leads us towards a well lit room. In doing this I spot the hints of a tattoo on his back. Clearly he's not as tame as first thought. The room he leads us to is a dining hall full of chatter. When we walk in the dauntless applaud and chant. I raise my fist to the air and scream "Yeah!" Before following Christina to a couple of empty seats. I end up between Christina and Four staring at a piece of circular meat. "Its beef." Four says handing me some red liquid "Put this on it."

"You've never had a hamburger before?" Christina's eyes widen.

"Is that what its called?"

"Stiffs eat plain food." Four tells Christina.

"No wonder you left."

"Yeah it was just the food."

Four almost smiled. Wow.

When a young man walks in the hall goes silent so much so his footsteps are heard, his face is full of piercings and his hair dark and full of grease, his eyes showing menace. He walks towards the table and sits by Four.

"Well are you going to introduce me?" He asks.

"Eric this is Christina and Tris." Four says.

"Oh a stiff, we'll see how long you last." Eric says giving me a toothy grin. I copy it.

"We'll if we're placing bets, I'll say longer than you." I say batting my eyelashes causing Four to cough on a laugh.

He sends me a glare before conversing with Four. By the time I finish my burger he's gone. I turn to Four.

"So who's tall, dark and ugly?" I ask. This time he lets his laugh escape.

"That's Eric a dauntless leader, we met in initiation training."

"Were you a transfer too?"

"First Candor's ask me questions now I've got to deal with stiffs too?" He asks coldly. I'll take that as a yes.

"It must be because you're so approachable, You know like a bed of nails." I say.

He stares at me and I take the challenge staring back refusing to back down.

"Careful Tris."

I turn my head to the side, putting a finger to my bottom lip with my eyes wide. "Now why would I do that?" He just shakes his head and turns to leave.

"I'm developing a theory." Christina states.

"And what is that?"

She grins. "That you have a death wish."

I mock innocents "Little old me, why never!" I smirk.

After dinner Eric leads us to our dorm. Which showed that we would have no privacy for the next couple of weeks and then told us to meet at eight the next day. He also told us of the ranking system but I stopped listening after a while and eventually just went to sleep.

"First thing you'll learn today is how to fire a gun, the second is how to win a fight." Four presses a gun to my hand without looking at me. I hold it getting used to its weight and shape. In abnegation I managed to take a gun and knives from some careless dauntless, aiming was a lot harder at twelve at night in the dark. At eight in the morning it should be cake. " Thankfully if you're here you already know how to get on and off a moving I don't need to teach you that." We stare at him as he continues."Initiation is divided in three stages, it is possible yet difficult to drastically improve your rank over stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way, the first stage is manly physical, the second emotional and the third mental.

"But what." yawns Peter. "Does firing a gun have to do with bravery?" Four flips his gun pressing the barrel to Peters head causing his eyes to go wide.

"Wake up, You're holding a loaded gun idiot act like it." He says as he removes the gun causing Peter to let out a breath. " And to answer your question,you are less likely to soil your pants and cry to your mother if you know how to defend yourself." After this he walks towards the target and gives a quick demonstration of how to stand and the way the gun works. "You can leave once you have hit the bulls eye five times. Begin." He states as he walks towards Eric. I stare at my target and take the proper posture that I am so acquainted with. I take a slow breath and pull the trigger. The bullet hits dead center of the bulls eye and the initiates go silent.

"How did you do that?" Christina asks. I give her instructions as I aim again the bullet goes through the hole I made seconds ago.

"Stiff, again." Eric shouts as he and Four stand behind me. All the other initiates turn and stare. I blank them out resetting my position with another deep breath I let the bullet fly. Once more it goes through the first hole. I take two more shots each the same as before and turn to face the instructures.

"Well done stiff." Eric praises. I roll my eyes again

"What do I do now?" I ask Four.

"Oh uhm, what ever you want until after lunch I guess." He says rubbing his neck in confusion. I give him a mock salute and walk back inside and head to the pit. When there I spot a pole about 15 feet in the air. I climb up to it and begin chin ups. People stare but once again I blank them out. I pretend I'm in my room in abnegation using the door frame I used so many times. I get myself in to a rhythm counting as I go. I get to about forty when someone clears their throat. Causing me to stop and look down.

"What. Are you doing?" Four asks.

I lift an eyebrow "sunbathing."

He rolls his eyes and I continue my exercise. "I am doing chin ups."

"I can see that, why?"

I sigh stopping and hanging from the bar. "Because I'm not an idiot, I'm abnegation, were scrawny and weak so I need to get my muscle up."

"You seem to have a much more muscular build than any stiff I've seen." He says as he studies me.

"That's because I've trained." I shrug. "Hey why do you get to ask me questions and I can't ask you any?"

He grins "Because, I'm your instructor, why do you want to get stronger anyway?"

I jump from the bar landing in a crouch "Why do you care?" Before he can answer I walk away.

I spend the rest of the time before lunch exploring the pit finding nothing of interest. I meet Christina in the dining hall. She invited Al to join us and soon Will came and asked if he could join. "Tris right?" He asks.

"Yep that's me." I say.

"What you did in training today was pretty awesome. Where did you learn to shoot?" Will questions.

I shrug and take a bite of cake. As the topic changes to who was in class with who. And I hope the topic of my training doesn't come up again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry if the spelling's whack, I have no spell check. Much love and ting.**

Chapter 4

After lunch Four takes us to a room with punching bags against one wall, we each stand by one as he goes through fighting techniques. They're all pretty standard moves that I learnt from a book in the library so as soon as he says to begin, I have at the bag. As I punch the bag it flies backwards and I feel smug by how much my body has changed. I carry on with more punches and kicks but eventually get bored and incorporate other moves I taught myself. Eventually Four stops in front of me and my stomach flutters. Wait what? I continue what I was doing as he stares at me with intrigue. "I didn't teach you that." He says as he circles me watching and judging my movements. I stop the moves and go back to the ones he demonstrated. "No, don't lower your standard, your technique was very good where did you learn it?" I concentrate on the punching bag, refusing to glance in his direction. "Damn it Tris how am I supposed to help you if you don't answer my questions?" He hisses. Still I keep my eyes roughly presses his hand to my stomach forcing my head to whip in his direction. "Don't forget to keep tension here." He murmurs by my ear. As he slowly slides his hand away going towards another transfer. It takes all I have to turn back to the punching bag, but through the rest of training only one thought was in my mind. Did he feel the spark?

When Four dismisses us for dinner Christina has to jab my ribs to get my attention. "huh?"

"I said I'm surprised he didn't break you in half."

"Who?" I ask clueless.

She wrinkles her nose. "Four of course."

"Oh, yeah." I say as I look through the crowd trying to find his face, when I find him I see his blue eyes right on me. I blush as my eyes fall to the floor. "Tattoo." Christina says.

"Hmmm?"

"Earth to Tris" She says with a clap. "Me, Will and Al are getting a tattoo you in?"

"Yeah sure." I reply.

"Okay Al and Will we'll meet you at the tattoo parlor in a bit." Christina says while dragging me off.

"Wait no where are we going Chris no wait. Wait!" I shout as I see the boys faces drop in sympathy.

"Be strong Tris!" Will shouts back. As Chris drags me in a shop.

"Don't be a baby." Christina replies to my pout. "You need new clothes." I huff.

"Whats wrong with my clothes?"

"They're baggy and gross." She moans. I mock hurt holding my heart. "Just let me help you." She says rolling her eyes. Realizing this is a fight I can't win I hump on the boyfriend stool and let her do her business.

"Why are you moping?" A familiar voice asks.

"Because Chris turned girl on me." I reply looking at Uriah.

"Oh my god i'm so sorry, you're so brave Tris!" He says with a serious tone but his smile gave him away.

"Ha ha, what are you doing here anyway? I had hope for you Uriah!"

"Well I saw my Trissy poo all upset and I came to see who died!" He says pinching my cheeks.

I swat his hand away "You, if you ever call me that agai..."

"Tris! Come try this on now!" My eyes go wide as I stand wiping the sweat from my hands on my jeans.

"Really not scared of jumping off a building but scared of a little shopping?" Uriah snickered.

"I can always convince her to shop for you too you know." His eyes widen as he goes paler than I thought possible.

"You're braver than us all Tris." He says pulling me into a quick hug before running away. I walk to Chris as she pushes me into a changing room and throws about twenty different outfits at me. When the shopping nightmare is finally over she forces me to a chair and starts apply all sorts of things on my face. "I thought we were friends Chris." I whine.

"Oh suck it up stiff. Its only a little cosmetics, there see all done." She says nudging a mirror to my face. I have to admit it looks good maybe I will invest in some eyeliner... "Now for a haircut." She magically produces scissors from thin air.

"Nope not happening, Ever." I Say as I stand clutch my ponytail for dear life, it reaches my waist and that's the way its staying.

She puffs her bottom lip but murmurs "Fine." Which I take as a small victory and we head to the parlor. When we reach it Will engulfs me in a hug.

"What did the mean lady do to you?" He brushes my hair.

"Oh please," Chris eye rolls. "She looks a lot better doesn't she?" Will lets go and examines me. I'm wearing tight black skinnies with an even tighter tank top, a leather jacket and leather boots. I see a blush creep on the guys faces and can't help a smile. "Can we please go get our tattoo on?" I moan. They agree and we start flipping through books. "Well if it isn't the not so stiff, stiff." I turn and my smile grows as Tori stands there. "I'd love to say I'm surprised to see you here."

"Unpredictable I am not, do you work here?" I ask.

"Yep you want anything?" I point to a picture of three ravens and she nods escorting me to a chair. "Where do you want it?"

"Collarbone." She nods again and sets to work. "So about what we talked about..."

"No, I can't help you anymore." I nod and she continues in silence.

"Since there are an odd number of you, one of you will not be fighting today." Says Four as he steps away from the board. I'm not fighting today, damn.

"This isn't good." Chris says nudging me with her elbow. "I'm against the tank."

"What Molly?"

"Yeah Peter's slightly more feminine minion." She sighs.

"Maybe you could take her shopping." I mutter. She elbows me in the ribs again."Ow!"

"Those three," She points to Peter, drew and Molly. "Have been inseparable since the womb, I hate them, they're pure evil I tell you." I stare at her before turning to watch Will and Al's fight.

"Then this will give you a chance to let them know it."

"Oh they know it. Candor remember?" She replies staring at her nails. "I like to think I'm helping them by hating them, you know reminding them they're not gods gift to mankind."

"That's you Chris," I snicker. "All heart." I turn my attention back to the fight which is moving slowly, each not wanting to harm their friend. After a few seconds Eric moans about the lack of action."When does the fight end?" Al asks.

"It ends when one of you cannot continue." Eric snaps.

"According to dauntless rules, you could also concede." Four says.

"Those were old rules." Eric's eyes narrow. "Now no one concedes." I huff that's not bravery, that's bullying. Four seems to agree.

"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others."

"Well a brave man never surrenders!" Eric bites back. Four and Eric stare off for a few seconds. But eventually the fight continues until Will falls unconscious. Forcing Four to carry him to the infirmary.

"Next up Christina and Molly." Eric announces. They both enter the ring and I cheer with all my might for Chris. She's good she can do this. I think but I still wipe sweat from my palms. Chris attacks Molly first with a kick to her side, But its only effective in making Molly angry. She pulls Christina's legs from under her and begins kicking and punching her until shes coughing up blood. Still showing no mercy in that state. I will get her for this. Christina tries to get up but fails however shes still conscious so its still fair game. She sobs as Molly lands another kick to her gut. Please go unconscious. But She doesn't.

"Stop! I'm done." She screams. Molly smiles and I sag in relief.

"You're done?" Eric asks calmly. Chris nods and my heart rate increases, this wont go well. "Get up and follow me." And we do.

He walks us to the chasm and I feel sick crawl up my throat. What's he doing? He shoved Chris against the rail. "Climb over."

"What?" She asks and I hope its some sick joke.

"Climb over the railing. If you can hang over the chasm for five minutes I'll forgive your cowardice, If you don't you're factionless. Your choice." He says slowly.

Everyone stares at her waiting for her decision when she finally climbs over the railing. She hangs there looking terrified as someone begins timing and that's the last straw. I walk out of the crowd and head toward Christina. "What are you doing stiff?" Eric asks grabbing my arm. I push away from him.

"I fancy a little exercise." I say as I walk towards the rail. I climb over and hang to Christina's right. "Whats up buttercup?" I chirp. Laughing at the surprise on her face even if she is splattered with blood. "Tris what are you doing here?"

"You know just hanging around." I say swinging my legs up and down. A smile crosses her face and I feel a little less worried. "Figured you could use some company, not much action here to be honest, But hey at least we can swing." I swing my legs higher.

"Trust you to find the fun side of torture." She replies with an eye roll.

"Hey! I'd take this over shopping any day. Minus the blood. Obviously." She giggles at this making her body swing even more. "Uh Chris I have a problem..."

"What are you falling!" Panic crossed her features and I almost felt bad for what I had to say. Almost.

"No its this damn rushing water, I need to pee like no tomorrow." I wine trying to do a pee dance while dangling in the air. She batted me in the arm. "Hey dangerous much?"

"Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry." I mumble. I hear someone shout one minute left when water falls where Christina's hands are grabbing. I watch speechlessly as one of her hands begin to slip, she screams as she tries to get a better grip. But her hands wet. Her hand falls leaving her with only one hand on the bar. I do the same as I grab her hand and help it back to gripping the bar. She has tears in her eyes and I pat her on the hands come down to help us up. We each grab a pair that drag us to safety. As soon as we reach the floor Chris tackles me in a hug. "Thank you Tris, thank you!" I smile and make soothing motions on her back as Eric glares at me. I have a feeling Eric may not fully appreciate me after today.

As I walk into the dorm I see "Stiff" Written all over my bed in red paint. I turn to see Peter laughing. "Nice decor stiff."

"Cute Peter. Cute." I have to fight him tomorrow. So I quickly clean it off before heading to bed. I'm going to need my strength if I'm going to show Peter how to really fight.

I walk to the center of the arena, folding my arms as I study peter. He's big. Like really big. "You okay there stiff?" He says. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry." I cock an eyebrow. Looking past his shoulder I see Four studying us his face pinched together like he's swallowed a lemon. Eric next to him looking ecstatic probably expecting to see me cry like a little girl. Oh ye of little faith. Without notice Peter throws a punch, I dodge as it flies by my cheek. I grab his fist using it as a boost. I swing my legs up so they wrap around his neck and in one swift motion flip. His head hits the floor with the whole force of my body. Rendering him unconscious almost instantly. I land in a crouch standing abruptly and walking to where Al, Chris and Will sit. Their mouths hanging wide. The arena is silent until finally over his shock Eric yells "Winner Tris." As he stares at me like an alien. Actually the whole room does. I mean I know I'm short but come on. Four walks over to Peter with his eyebrows raised as he scoops him up. Before he leaves he turns giving me one of his rare grins and my blood sets on fire.

"Where, did you learn that?" Chris asks, dumbstruck.

"Yeah I knew you were good but not..." Al tries.

"I got skills." I shrug. " Hey can we go get some cake?"

They stare still shocked but follow me to the cafeteria. Since Als first fight he's refused to hurt anyone else so today he went down easy. Chris won her fight as did Will so celebration was definitely in the air as we snacked on some dauntless cake.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm thinking this chapter's pretty small so I might add the next one today. Hope that's okay!**

Chapter 5

The next day we were told we'd have a field trip. So we all got ready excitedly and ran to the train station. As we arrive the train comes and we run to jump in, when I do I crash face to face with Peter. "You okay there Peter? You look like you're about to cry I might go easy if you cry." I smirk before walking back to my friends.

"What do you think is out there?" I ask nodding towards the fence.

"Monsters!" Chris says wiggling her fingers at me.

"You mean like you first thing in the morning?" I ask my eyebrows furrowing and twisting my face in horror. She bats me in the shoulder in annoyance.

"We didn't even have guards near the fence until five years ago." Says Will. "Don't you remember dauntless police used to patrol the factionless sector?"

"Yes." I reply. A pang in my heart as I remember my dad being the one to stop it, he stated that we should be helping the poor not arresting them and I had to agree.

"Oh right bet you saw them all the time." Will said. I stare at him in confusion. "Because you had to pass the factionless sector to get to school right?"

"What did you do memorize the map of the city for fun?" Chris asks.

"Yes." Said Will puzzled. "Didn't you?"

The train slows and we all take turns jumping out. In front of us is a chained fence. With dauntless guards patrolling the other side. "Follow me." Four says as he leads us towards a large gate. "If you don't rank in the top five at the end of initiation, you'll probably end up here. There is some potential for advancement but not much."

"What rank were you?" Peter asks. I didn't expect him to answer. Just expected another sneering Candor comment but instead he says.

"I was first."

"And you chose to do this?"

"Yep." Four replies flatly.

As we stand there the fence is opened to allow an amity truck. I stare as the truck enters a few feet and is opened to reveal apples and colorful amity people.

"Beatrice?" An amity boy asks. I whip my head back at the sound and smile at the familiar face. Robert jumps off the truck and comes towards me I meet him in the engulfs me in a hug that I can't help but reciprocate. When he lets go and looks at me his smile grows. "Always knew you were a dauntless." I chuckle and reply with "Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Beatrice, abnegation you were not." Say that to my test results I thought.

"I guess, I thought you were though." And I honestly did he wasn't like me he was the perfect abnegation back home. First Caleb now him did anyone stay there?

"Beatrice?" Demands a gruff voice next to me. "Is that your real name stiff?"

I glare at her. "Really Molly what did you think Tris stood for?"

"I don't know weakling?" She says with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Wow you're as clever as you are pretty." I say dryly. "Why not ask Peter if I'm a weakling I'm sure he would love to answer."

She lets out a growl and as any good amity Robert tries to keep the peace. "I'm Robert and you are?"

"Someone who doesn't care what your name is, why don't you get back in the truck were not supposed to fraternize with other factions."

"Why don't you go back to the other village idiots." I snap.

"Right wouldn't want to get between you and your boyfriend." She smiles and walks off.

"I take it back you're not like other dauntless they're mean." Robert says

"Some of them aren't." I say reassuringly.

"Well as long as you're happy." He touches my shoulder turning toward the truck. Before I can reply. Was I happy? I just didn't know. I wave to Robert as he leaves wishing I was as sure about my emotions as he was when Four comes towards me. "I am worried that you have a knack for making bad decisions." He says.

I fiddle with my hands looking down. "Yeah, me too." He touches my chin and pulls my head up.

"You're good you know. Really good I'll be surprised if you don't rank high."

I force a smile, "Yeah because that's all that matters." I say beginning to turn around he walks with me matching my pace.

"Looks like the trains here Tris."


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, I'm actually really worried about this chapter seeing as it's one of my favorite chapters in the book. So I really hope I've done it justice.**

**And as promised here's the second chapter of the day. Hope you enjoy. :)**

Chapter 6

I wake up the next day to Eric shouting. Not something I enjoyed. For us to meet at the tracks. We did so ready for the next field trip. When we reached them guns and paint balls lay waiting for us and I let out a high pitch squeal.

"Tris you sound like you just saw a shoe sale." Chris giggled. I didn't respond I was too busy grabbing my gun and ammunition, trying not to jump with joy.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks Four.

Four checks his watch. "Any minute now how long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"

"Why would I when I have you to remind me?" He replies patting Fours face lightly.

The train appears and we all jump on quickly. "We are dividing into two teams. Each team will have an even amount of team members both dauntless born and team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second will do the same." Four says. "This is a dauntless tradition so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" Someone in the back shouts.

"Sounds like something someone not from dauntless would say." Four smirks. "You get to win of course."

"Four and I will be team captains, lets pick transfers first shall we?" Eric says. I tilt my head wondering who I'll be teamed with.

"You go first." Four replies.

"Edward." Eric points. Four scans us with out actually studying.

"I want the stiff." He says earning a glare from Eric while he just stares at me. I stare back studying his blue eyes. He's the one to break it as he nudges Eric. "your turn."

"Peter."

"Christina." We high five.

"Molly."

"Will." Will joins us and we do a small victory dance at our groups togetherness.

This continues on for a while as they choose the dauntless born but I blank it out until I hear a loud screeching voice. "Oh Trissy Poo!" I wince as I turn to Uriah. No guy should be able to get his voice that high. "Guess which dashing dauntless is in your group!"

"I don't know, where is he?" I reply with a taunting smile. He mocks doubling over.

"That cut deep Tris."

"That's my job, to lower your ego one jab at a time." I wink.

"Well you'll have to try harder than that." He said putting his arm around me. From the corner of my eye I see Four glare at Uriahs arm before coming over and pulling us apart. "Time to jump." He murmurs. Walking swiftly away.

"What was that all about?" Uriah whispers. I just shrug before jumping off the train.

As we walk one of the dauntless born girls grab Fours arm and ask. "When your team won where did you hide the flag?"

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the game Marlene." Four responded.

"Come on Four." She says whilst giving him a flirtatious smile. I have to hold back a laugh as Four tries to edge further and further away from her.

"Navy peer, my brother was on the winning team." Uriah says speaking loudly for us all to hear.

"You have a brother?" I question. He nods with a grin. "Is he as annoying as you?" I say making Uriah's mouth go wide.

"Tris! you can't slice my heart twice in one day, that's just cruel."

"To answer your question Tris, Zeke is probably more annoying." Four says as he walks to the other side of me.

"The horror." I cry.

"Is that why you two have such a huge bromance?" Uriah teases. Four opens his mouth for a comeback.

"Guys can we just go to the peer!" Will snaps stopping our banter. The three of us stare at each other like scolded toddlers staying silent as we follow the rest of our team.

"We're close to Erudite." Will tells Christina longingly. "Its about a mile that way." He points. I stare at the direction thinking about how easy it would be to visit Caleb, to make sure he's alright. But I convince myself against it. We both needed to gain our independence and me visiting would ruin that. We pass a Ferris wheel and head to the carousel. "The other team will decide their location in about ten minutes I suggest you take the time to think of a strategy." Four says as an initiate places the flag in the carousel. And that's when the shouting started.

"People should guard while others scout for the other teams location."

"No we need more defense. Wait for them to come to us."

"Who put you in charge? We should all go out. Grab the flag before they can even come near." Everyone shouts for different ideas while Four stands there the perfect picture of relaxed. Like listening to initiates trying to shout over each other was the most normal thing in the world. I roll my eyes and quietly sneak off. Not interested in the argument in the slightest. If we're going to attack we need to know the flags location. The easiest way? To climb as high as possible. I walk to the ferries wheel analyzing the metal bars. It looks sturdy enough. I find the ladder quickly and begin climbing. Jumping cautiously to make sure the rusted bars hold.

"Tris." A low voice says behind me, strangely it doesn't startle me. The voice instead caresses my skin. Weird. I turn seeing Four behind me. A humorous smile on his lips.

"Yes?" I say.

"I came to ask what you think you're doing."

"Why do you always ask that?" I ask.

"Well if you actually acted like a normal human being I wouldn't have too."

"That's no fun." I pout. "And I'm seeking higher ground."

His smile grew. "Alright I'm coming." I roll my eyes, does he think I honestly can't climb a ladder without supervision.

"I'll be fine. I'm a big girl." I carry on climbing.

"Undoubtedly." He replies as he begins climbing with me.

"So tell me." He says breathlessly after a few minutes. "What do you think is the point of this exercise? The game I mean not the climbing." I stare to the ground as I think, were about a third of the way up now, not high enough but its a start.

"Well if it's teamwork we're doing an awful job." I chuckle and he soon joins, his seeming more panicked though. "Strategy maybe?" I start to shake feeling slightly light headed. But the height doesn't scare me. Then I realize its just Four, Four being near me. I literally shake myself trying to get the feeling away,this can't continue.

"What do you think strategy has... to do with bravery?" He asks between deep breaths.

"It prepares you to act, we learn it so we can use it. Kinda like how you picked all of the fastest people for your team." I say as I stop twisting my body so I'm leaning on the ladder but capable of looking at Four expecting a smile. "Are you alright?" I ask.

"Are you human Tris? Being up this high it doesn't scare you at all?" I Hold on to the ladder with one arm and look down. Making it easier to see the view. Its pretty if anything, not scary. We keep climbing in silence until we reach the platform. I climb on to it and sit down making room for Four. He sits as I stare down searching for the flag, swinging my legs as I do. I can't see it so I turn to him, seeing the sheer panic on his face.

"You're scared of heights." I establish. "How do you survive in the dauntless compound?"

He shrugs. "I ignore my fear, when I'm making decisions I pretend it doesn't exist."

I stare at him wondering how someone could possibly pretend something doesn't fill them with pure terror. He catches me.

"What?" He asks.

"Just doesn't seem healthy." I shrug. He shrugs back. I stare at the Ferris wheel and see piping that will get me higher up."If you're not up for it go back down, I'll understand." I say as I stand and begin climbing.

"If someone said that to you, would you climb down?" He asks.

I look at him whilst shaking my head. "Nope, I'd climb to the top out of spite."

"Then I guess we're pretty similar." He says grabbing the pipes.

Eventually we reach high enough. "See that?" I say as Four climbs behind me, resting his head on my shoulder as he looks. I point at the flag as I turn to look at him.

"Yeah." He says as a glorious smile spreads across his face making my heart flutter. I stare at his face while its inches from mine studying it. The small scar on his chin, the serious expression while he thinks and still those strangely familiar blues. Until I realize I've stared too long. "Uhm we should probably climb down, I'll follow you." I say awkwardly.

"Yeah." He replies giving me one last look before beginning the climb down. When we reach the bottom I stare at him again my eyebrows furrowed. "What?" he asked.

"Facing your fear like that." I say shaking my head. "It's amazing." He stares at me shocked before gently taking my arm. His fingers sending electricity through my body.

"We should find the others." He says letting his now not so rare grins creep on his face.

When we reached the carousel we see Chris sitting on one of the horses acting as though shes on a break.

"Where'd the others go?" Four asked sounding like a five year old on a sugar rush."We know where they are!" His eyes wide as he basically jumped on the spot.

"We?" Chris asked looking between the two of us.

"Yep, While you guys were twiddling your thumbs Tris climbed the Ferris wheel and found the others flag." We turned and high fived each other making Chris even more confused.

"Well what do we do now?" A dauntless born asked. They all turned and stared at me. I cringed a bit I was never one for leadership. I think about telling them to think of something, I mean I already helped right? But then slowly a plan snaps together in my brain.

"Split in half." I suggest."Four of us go to the right of the pier, three to the left. The group of four charges while the other three sneak in and grab the flag." And that's what we do, me Chris and Uriah walk to the flag.

"Tris you never stop surprising me." Chris says.

"Yeah you sure you're a stiff?" Uriah asks playfully nudging me.

"Yeah I'm... Hey the flag!" I say pointing. Chris runs for it while me and Uriah cover her.

"Remind me why she gets to grab the flag. I mean I get that you're too short to reach it but..." I cut him off with an elbow to the gut.

"Because I like her more than you." I say smugly as Chris grabs the flag waving it in the air. Our team chant in victory as people lift Chris wooping. I join in and fist bump Uriah before he runs off to join the crowd. A hand grabs my shoulder.

"Well done Tris." Four says softly making me melt. As we all walk back to the train Chris grabs my arm dragging me to the end of the group.

"So... You snuck off with number boy." Chris chimed. "What was that about huh?" She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"He was doing the very important job of making sure I didn't break my neck on the Ferris wheel of doom." I reply flatly.

"Oh." She pouted downheartedly.

"Don't sound too sad, anyone would think you wanted me dead."

"Well..." I show her my best shocked impression before maturely sticking my tongue out. She giggles as we make our way back to dauntless.


	7. Chapter 7

**Once again thank you for the reviews guys! They really brighten my day. I don't know how I feel about this chapter, it might be a little OTT. So I'm sorry if you guys don't like it, if you don't or you do please give me a review. I mean come on how else will I learn?**

**Anyway here you go chapter 7. Hope you enjoy!**

chapter 7

I walk into training the next day with an untouched chocolate muffin.

"Stiff no food in the training room." Eric shouts. I whimper as I stare longingly at the muffin. I was running late today and barely managed to swipe it before I had to go. Slowly and painfully I move to the bin, closing my eyes as I drop it in. I return to the other initiates with tears in my eyes. As Eric goes over the plans for today. "Tomorrow is the last day of stage one. You will resume fighting then, today you will learn how to aim. Everyone pick up three !" He says gruffly. I trudge to the knives mopping as I Grab them.

"He's in a bad mood." Chris mumbles.

"Who cares?" I groan. Chris looked at me like I was unrecognizable. But I didn't care I just took my place with the other initiates as we watched Four demonstrate how to aim and throw the knives. The frown never leaving my face. "Line up!" Eric shouts. I take my time getting in to place then stand and get used to the weight of the knives.

"Hey stiff the aims to throw them." Peter taunts. I just give him the finger, too annoyed to argue. I throw the knife. It lands directly in the center of the bulls eye. I throw the other two each landing a millimeter away from the first. But I don't care. I just want my muffin. A half hour later I'm still wallowing in self pity, and Al is the only one who has not hit the target. The next time he tries, he misses. Eric walks towards him. "How slow are you candor? Do you need glasses?" Al cringes as he takes aim again and misses a second time. "What was that initiate?" Eric screams as he moves his face closer to Als. I pull my hands into fists. My knuckles going white from the pressure. "It slipped." Al says.

"Go get it." He hisses. Staring at the initiates. "Keep throwing." And people do as commanded.

"Go get it? But people are still throwing." Al pales.

"So?"

"So I don't want to get hit."

"Go get your knife." Eric orders.

"No." Al says.

Eric examines Als face. "Why? Are you afraid?"

"Of being stabbed by an airborne knife? Yes. Yes I am."

"Everyone stop!" Eric shouts. "Everyone out of the ring." We all do so quickly. "You." He points to Al. "Stand in front of the target." Al walks to the target trembling. Eric looks behind his shoulder searching for someone. "Four give me a hand here." Four looks up, dark circles and fatigue mask his face showing he's as tired as we all are.

"You're going to stand there while he throws knives, until you learn not to flinch." Eric tells Al menacingly. Four scratches his eyebrow with a knife before asking

"Is this really necessary?" He sounds bored but his body seems to be the opposite. He seems tense. I can't say I blame him.

"I have the authority here." Eric states. Four sighs and heads towards the target. As he goes into position I lose control.

" ." I say. Four turns his face in my direction as he spins the knife in the air. He gives me a hard look and I give it back crossing my arms. "Any idiot can stand in front of the target. It proves nothing. Only that you're bullying us and if I remember that's an sign of cowardice."

"Then it should be easy for you to take his place." Eric smiles. I just shrug as I walk to the target and relieve Al, who looked like he was about to pee his pants. And here I thought I'd stop having to take other peoples punishments when I joined dauntless. What a joke. I lean against the target with one leg against it. From previous experience I know you can still get a victory from this sort of thing. And looking like I couldn't care less about the knives would be mine.

"If you flinch." Four says slowly. "Al takes your place." I nod as Four's face takes on the serious expression he has when concentrating. He pulls his arm back and throws the Knife landing with a thud by my cheek.

"You about done stiff?" Four asks. I bring my hand up examining my nails.

"Nope, you?" I see him shake his head a smile on his face.

"Eyes open then." I stare into his eyes as he tosses the dagger between his hands and that's when it clicks. He throws the second knife, it lands slightly above my head. I feel it. Close but not close enough. He has good aim I'll give him that.

"If you cut my hair I will ruin you." I threaten. He raises an eyebrow.

"Come on stiff, let someone else stand there and take it." I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, that'll happen. Just hurry up, I'm bored." He turns the knife in his hand before he pulls his arm back, letting the knife fly. This time when it hits the board my ear feels wet and from the look he's giving me, he did it on purpose.

"Well I'd love to stay and see if the rest of you are as brave as she is," Says Eric. "But I think that's enough for today." Everyone turns to leave but I still have a grudge that I'm not rid of. This man has bullied us, screamed at us, made Christina hang from the chasm and almost made Al be used as target practice. Before I can stop myself I yell.

"Hey Eric what about a deal?" Everyone turns back around at this.

Eric smiles "And what kind of deal is that stiff?" I use my trademark innocent face before saying.

"Four throws a knife right at me, if I catch it I get to throw it at you and you have to buy me a muffin." Eric looks skeptical.

"And what happens If I win?" He asks.

"Sounds like a question someone not from dauntless asks, you get to win of course." I say smirking at Four who looks horrified. "Plus the added benefit of seeing me stabbed. I guess." I say winking at him. His mouth opens looking like he will reject the offer. "Or is a little girl braver than you." I say with a mocking tone. Apparently Eric didn't want to be shown up by a girl half his size.

"Stand in front of the target." Eric says gritting his teeth. The initiates are completely silent with their mouths wide open as I skip up to the target excitedly with the smirk still planted in place. Four has changed from horrified to looking like he'll be sick. I'm not sure if that's an improvement.

"Tris, don't do this." Four pleaded.

"You know if someone could have faith in me for once, that would be great." I say rolling my eyes. I stretch my legs out and get in position. "Now Four throw the damn knife." He nods and the knife flies. Letting my hands move on their own they quickly grab the knifes hilt before it can slice my shoulder. I swear everyone in that room let out a breath when I held it up. I turn to Eric gesturing for him to move towards the target. He reluctantly does so as I move to Fours place.

"Remember Eric its two for flinching." I laugh as he scowls and folds his arms together. If he thought I would aim for his heart he had another thing coming. "Ready?" I ask, he replies with a swift nod and I let the knife fly. To say Erics eyes went wide would be an understatement. He peered down at the knife that was a millimeter away from his groin and I physically fell to the floor laughing.

"Alright, everyone out, now!" Eric screamed as he stormed out of the room. Everyone followed terrified of his wrath. Leaving me alone with Four. I nudged his shoulder. "Hey nice aim." Apparently he didn't find it as funny as I did. He grabbed me by the shoulders pinning me to the wall.

"Why the hell did you make me do that! Do you know how terrifying that was for me?" He shouted. I feel my hands forming fists.

"So its perfectly fine for you to throw three knives at me but not four?" I Yell back finding a sick humor to the irony.

"That was different." He replied shaking me. Tightening his grip.

"Yeah the difference is the fourth didn't actually cut me." I snap. He cringes slightly loosening his grip.

"I had to do that Tris. Eric wouldn't have let you go with out a scratch and you know it!" I did know that and it calmed me down slightly hearing him say he didn't actually want to hurt me.

"Yes I do, You know how I know that? Because Eric's a bully, A bully that picked on two of my friends. He needed to be taught a lesson and I taught him it." I say calmly.

"But you didn't, all you proved in that little show is that you don't care about anyone elses feelings. Only about yourself." I glare at him and push him away with all my strength. Suddenly his face softens, realizing what he said. "Tris wait, Tris I didn't..." I raise my hand stopping him.

"Save it, you know what, I thought you knew me better than that." I turn walking away, before I reach the door I hear Four say.

"I'm so sorry Tris."

"No need, I'm selfish remember? Why would I care about your apology?" And I walk out.


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. I forgot to mention that I'm English so if I mess up with my Englishness I'm sorry. I actually really liked writing this chapter. Hope you all approve!**

chapter 8

The next day my moods still the same, even after all my friends praise and Eric's embarrassment at having to give me a chocolate muffin. I was actually surprised he kept to his word. I still felt awful. If you asked me two days ago who I'd rather train with I'd say Four without a thought. Now I'm not so sure. When I walk into the training room with Chris and see Four writing on the board I huff in annoyance. But still me and Chris walk towards him to see who our names are placed with. As we do he turns, spotting me. "Tris..."

"Yes _Four_ is there something you need?" He cringes at my tone and I honestly couldn't care less. He stared at me sheepishly mumbling a quick "No." Scratching his neck before walking away.

"What was that about?" Chris said eyeing me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I reply nonchalantly.

"Really because I've never heard you say his name before." I don't reply.

"Hey, you're against the tank." She nudges me playfully, trying to cheer me up. I play along.

"Oh revenge is gunnu be sweet." I say high fiving her. She laughs, flicking her hair back as she does. I'm in the last fight today so I go and make myself comfortable as far away from Four as humanly possible. Still as the fights go on I catch him stealing glances from the corner of my eye and I constantly have to stop myself from giving him the finger. Edward beats Peter and I grin before standing and walking towards the arena.

"Hey stiff hows the boyfriend?" Molly chuckles.

"Really Molly when did you turn five again?" I say rolling my eyes. She twists her face in a grimace stepping closer to me.

"When I'm through with you you'll be in worse shape than your weakling friend." She says with a grotesque smirk. "Who knows maybe even as bad as your parents." Now I never claimed to be a calm person but I can safely say after that line I wasn't angry. I was fuming. I punched her straight in her huge nose feeling pleasure as I hear the break. But that wasn't enough I just. Keep. Punching. I punched her continuously going at my full speed, full strength, aiming anywhere and everywhere. Until she collapsed, more blood than skin on the mat.

" ." I say calmly."Get up and fight me." But she stays there unmoving. But I'm not done. She needs to pay for saying that. She has to pay. "Get up you bitch!" I scream. But she doesn't, instead strong arms grab hold of me pulling me away. "Tris you won, okay you won." Four says calmly as he rubs circles in my back.

"No, no she, she deserves worse, she needs worse!" I say as I try to escape his arms.

"Peter take Molly to the infirmary now! Go!" Four shouts. Peter runs to the arena and scoops her up. I try harder to escape.

"No, what are you doing! No she needs worse no!" I scream but he's already gone. Chris comes forward staring at me wide eyed like I'm unrecognizable. But Four stops her in her tracks, still griped on to me. "Everyone out now!" They all do as he says running out of the room, my vision blurs from tears but Four finally lets me go. I storm to the far wall and start frantically hitting the punching bag, trying to get rid of my rage.

"Tris, Tris you need tape or your hands will..." I don't reply just punch harder. "Never mind..." I punch again breaking the punching bag. I don't even think about it just move on to the next. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head. "What did she say up there?" I punch harder, glad that if he didn't hear no one else would have. I punch the bag again causing it to crash to the ground. I walk briskly to the other corner of the room where a bar hangs. Thinking that maybe something that keeps my whole body busy will help. Plus chin ups can't break on me. "Tris, what are you doing?" Four asks as I climb up the bar.

"Chin ups." I say whilst dangling. He watched me as I pull myself up and then back down slowly.

"I see that why?"

"To get stronger." I reply my anger starting to bubble away.

"From the look of Molly I'd say you're strong enough." Four says.

"She deserved worse." I reply no remorse in my voice. "She like Eric hurt one of my best friends, quite brutally I recall."

"There has to be more to it than that." Four answers stepping closer to the bar.

"Ah yeah of course, I forgot I'm selfish." I remark bitterly. If it stung he didn't show it.

"Actually I just know you're less petty than that. I also know that if you're going to beat someone to a pulp its going to be for a damn good reason." I smile, my anger completely subsided as I drop to the floor. I grab Molly's left over towel and walk to the arena. And I begin cleaning it up.

"What are you doing?" Four questions cocking an eyebrow. I sigh.

"Why do you always ask me that?"

"Because I never know with you." He smiles and by god I cant help it, its contagious.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay so I'm not home for a couple of days, I might be able to update Saturday so here's another chapter until then. By the way I've kind of almost finished this fanfiction, I'm on chapter 20 atm and it'll be finished soon. I might have to continue this to the second book. If you guys don't mind.**

chapter 9

Apparently news of my little episode traveled fast. I got a lot of stares as I strolled around the next day. I didn't really care though. Chris and Will declared that she deserved it and I was bad ass for teaching her a lesson. Al wasn't so proud but he didn't stop talking to me and he didn't treat me like a psycho. So no harm done really. Except to Molly I guess, she spent the night in the infirmary. Good. I walk through the compound dodging clusters of families and reunions not quite knowing what to do. I consider going to the dorms but it just seems sad, shopping's not even the slightest option and I'm pretty sure the training rooms closed. So I head to the chasm. I slip my legs under the railing and stare at the water. If my parents were alive, would they come? Or would they call me a traitor for leaving their faction? I watch as a young dauntless boy races down the pathway at full speed, not caring of the danger. I smile at him as his parents scoop him up and take him into the pit. I wonder if Caleb's okay. He's smart, I'm sure he's doing great in Erudite but I still wonder.

"Hey." Four says as he slips beside me.

"Hey yourself." I say back.

"Your parents not here?"

"Nope." I reply popping the p. "yours?" He gives me a sad smile while shaking his head. "Too bad." I say as we settle in a comfortable silence. I swing my legs rhythmically while he stares at me questioningly. "I swear to god if you ask me what I'm doing."

"Actually I was wondering how a girl born in abnegation could end up like you." He says curiously.

"Uhm should I be offended?" He tilts his head thinking for a second before shaking his head again. "I don't know really, I guess ever faction has to have a few defects." I say with a shrug.

"Tris you're a lot of things, a defect is not one of them." I glance at him as a grin creeps to my lips, before I can reply Chris shouts for me. I quickly stand, dusting myself off.

"Well that's my cue to meet the family, see you later." I say with a wave, he nods turning back to the water. I walk towards the doorway and Chris stares at me with a cocked eyebrow.

"Why do you look so happy?" She asks.

"No reason." I say pulling her away. "Now were's mummy Chris?" She points to a tall tanned woman wearing black and white talking to Will and half walks, half drags me to her. When I get there Chris introduces me to her mum and sister and Will introduces me to his mum and sister Cara.

"So, you're one of them." She says in disgust. She looks at me the same way you'd look at a worm in your apple and I groan.

"Cara, be nice." Will says nudging her with his elbow. She glares at him as though he ate the worm.

"Uh one of what exactly?" I ask, slightly confused as to why I'm being insulted.

"Part of the happy go lucky do gooders faction, don't have a selfish bone in your body right?" Wow. Okay someone has a grudge. Will elbows her again and whispers something along the lines of "don't be rude." But I just stare at her shocked.

"Uhm, well I guess I used to be..." I reply still trying to get my head around the situation.

"We all know you keep the resources for yourselves you know, no such thing as food for the factionless." She said with scorn. Okay I knew abnegation and Erudite didn't get on, but seriously, this is the kind of rumor they spread. wow.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is but back in abnegation I had to do my fair share of giving that food to the factionless. And you know what the sad thing is they actually are happy go lucky do gooders, and they do actually give to the needy. And I did not have to go through sixteen years of letting you guys go before me or holding the door for you, or dispersing the factionless food for people like you to question the motives of generally good people. I may not be a stiff anymore but I will still defend the people that actually stay there, because they are generally the kindest people you will ever meet." Cara stares at me shocked as do the rest of both Will and Christinas families. I put on my best smile and say "Well it was great meeting you guys but I'm going to go." As calmly as possible before basically running to the dorm.

Later that night Four comes into the room with his trusty chalk board. "As I said before these ranks can still change in stage two, however the four lowest scorers in stage one will become factionless I will announce the cuts tomorrow." He says before hanging the board up. I stretch to see it.

We all stare at the board and I glance towards Al, he isn't last but he'll most likely be factionless. And he knows it. His eyes glisten with tears and I walk over giving him a hug. Not knowing what else to say or do. Chris and Will join in and as we pull apart we stay in silence looking wearily at each other.

"What?" Molly screeches. "Why is she ranked above me," She points at Chris. "I beat her in minutes." Four stares at her a second disgust lining his features.

"You did. But if I remember correctly Tris beat you in seconds." He replies bitterly. Molly, not having a reply stormed off, well tried as best she could considering her injuries. Peter strangely didn't say a think which was odd, no snarky comment? No complaining he could beat us all? Shocking. Christina broke the silence "Well look at you top dog." She said with a whistle.

"Yeah congrads Tris." Will said patting me on the back. I thank them and congratulate them on their rankings too.

"Hey Tris." I turn facing Edward, not knowing what to expect, I never really talked to him much he was always just with his girlfriend Myra.

"Uhm yeah?" I reply. Readying myself for a fight.

"I'll get you next time." He jokes with a wink.

"Sounds like a challenge to me." I laugh winking back.

That night, I couldn't sleep and it was annoying as hell. Thoughts ran through my head about Caleb and I wonder if he really is okay. I mean he's never been alone before. He may be the older sibling but I'm the defensive one. What if there are others like Cara in Erudite? People picking on him for his abnegation roots. No I'll have to go see him soon, make sure he's okay. That's when I hear a small sound a footstep I think and before I realize what I'm doing I've dropped to the floor silently and climbed under my bed. I see a shoe edge its way towards me and another pair of footsteps further along the room. I wait listening for a sound but instead I make out the shape of a shoe just by my head, so I do what any responsible girl would do, I grab it twisting my body so the owner of the foot falls to the floor. I hear a blood curdling scream causing me to loosen the grip on the foot I was holding and he gets up, running. As I lift myself from the floor the lights turn on. I walk in between the bunks to find the source of the wail. There on the floor Edward lies clutching his face. The hilt of a butter knife sticking between his fingers. Bile rises in my throat as I realize what has happened. Someone stabbed Edward in the eye. And someone was going to do the same to me. That's when the screaming starts, not mine, just everyone elses. It started with Myra and seconds later everyone grew hysterical. I walk to Edward and sit by his head, my legs being covered by his blood. I pull his shoulders down. "Lie still." I say firmly. No surprise when I tell you he doesn't. I feel too calm for this ridiculous situation. "I said, Lie " I say sterner and he begins to stop thrashing around as much.

"My eye!" He screams. "Take it out! Get it out now! Get it out!" I shake my head, then shake my head even more when I realize he can't see me.

"No. You have to let the doctor take it out. Okay? Let the doctor take it out and breath." I say calmly not really wanting to stress him out anymore than possible.

"It hurts." He cries. Well obviously. But I can't say that. Even I have a time and place for sarcasm.

"I know it does." I reply soothingly. Reminding myself of my mother whenever I used to scuff my knee or fall off something. And it brings a sad smile to my face, even in this situation. "It will be alright." Actually I'm willing to bet it wont be alright but hey there's a reason I didn't choose candor right? Finally the nurses arrive and tell me politely to go away. Which I do, I stare across the room and find only two people missing, Drew and Peter. Damn. As Edward is taken out and everyone else is slowly calming from hysterical to panicked I set to work on cleaning the floor. Strange really how I used cleaning up Edwards blood to get my mind off of what might of happened to me, but hey what works works. After I finish cleaning, I take a shower to remove the rest of Edwards blood off of me. And I just know I wont sleep tonight.


	10. Chapter 10

**Well apparently I lied because I'm back. Anyway here we go again.**

Chapter 10

After last night Edward and Myra were cut. Edward going spared Al until next time but I still felt down from the nights incident. Not to mention glad to still have both my eyes. So I decided to walk around the pit for a bit.

"Tris?" I look up to see Uriah in front of me not wearing his trade mark grin. He must have heard. "You okay?" I laughed at this it just seemed so normal.

"Uhm kinda had a rough night." He winced looking angry at himself.

"Yeah I heard about Edward... That's why I'm here actually. Come on, lets go." He said as he began dragging me down a hallway.

"Uhm Uriah where are we going?" I asked trying not to fall over my own feet.

"A dauntless initiation ceremony. Come on speed up." I do and as we turn the corner I see a group of the dauntless initiates ahead of us.

"Usually the only initiates they let come are the ones with an older brother or sister in dauntless but I'm sure they'll make an exception for the almighty stiff." He chirps and I laugh shaking my head at him. "What is it?" I ask curiously.

"Something dangerous." Excitement flickers in his eyes and I catch it like a fire, speeding my pace even more, dangerous and dauntless, now that sounds like something that will cheer me up. Finally we reach the dauntless born initiates.

"Whats the stiff doing here?" Asked a boy I'd never seen before.

"Gabe she made Eric buy her a muffin, I'd say she had the most rights to be here don't you?" Gabe cocked his eyebrow looking impressed before giving me a nod of approval. The rest of the dauntless turn each with a smirk on their face, well it looks like I made the cut. We turn again and a group of members stand waiting, as soon as they see us they turn mumbling a "Lets go." We walk through a dark stair case that lead us close to the train tracks as soon as we hit them we hit a sprint towards the train. After me and Uriah jump I turn to him. "Any idea where were going?" I ask, he shrugs in response. "Spectacular."

"You don't get to know, It ruins the surprise!" The girl beside me yells before offering me her hand. "Shauna." I shake her hand arching an eyebrow.

"I'm"

"I know, you're the stiff that drives dauntless wild." She says with a wink. "Four told me about you." I feel my heart flutter.

"Let me guess something like 'I never know what she's doing.'" I say mimicking his looks at me shocked.

"How did you know that?" I roll my eyes.

"He asks me what I'm doing like three times a day." She laughs patting me on the back.

"Shocking Four daily? I like you already." I smirk back at her.

"So you know him well?" I ask curiously. She shrugs.

"Everyone knows Four, we were in initiation together. I was bad at fighting so he taught me at night when everyone else slept, was nice of him." She smiles. "Well time to jump." The train doesn't slow but she leaps anyway.

"Awesome." I shout as I jump right behind her. We high five as we land watching Uriah basically flail out of the train.

"Really Uriah, out done by a stiff, I'm ashamed." Shauna teased as Uriah wipes himself off. Quickly we catch up to the others. We're right behind the hub as we run through the busy crowds lining the streets. Within seconds I know where we're heading. I grab Uriahs hand and run to the abandoned Hancock building. The tallest one in sight. But what the hell are we going to do there? As we get closer the the members begin nudging each other in to the double doors. We follow them through the old abandoned hall.

"So Uriah when am I going to meet this legendary brother of yours?" I ask nudging him in the ribs.

"Did someone say legendary brother?" A short but well built boy asks cockily. The only similarity to Uriah being his skin color. "That would be me, I'm Zeke and you're?"

"Zeke you mixed legendary and loser up again." Uriah mocked. " And this is Tris."

"The stiff?" He whistled. "Well talk about legendary." I groan as he bows. "Anyone that gets a knife that close to little Eric is too good for my little brother."

"Wow yeah, Uriah I totally get your personality now." I say.

"Hey!" The brothers say in unison and I burst out laughing. We keep walking until we get to the elevator bank.

"Do these things even work?" I ask knocking on the doors.

"Sure they do." Zeke rolls his eyes. "You think I'm stupid enough not to come her early and turn on the emergency generator?"

"Yeah." Uriah replies. "I kinda do." Zeke jumps at Uriah grabbing him in a headlock raking his knuckles into his hair. Until Uriah finally manages to pry him off, but by then its a little too late for his hair. As it puffs up at all angles. The elevator doors open and we pile in.

"What floor?" A girl with a shaven head questions.

"100" I reply.

"Very good stiff." Zeke says clapping his hand patronizingly.

"Four's right." I eye roll. "You are the more annoying one." Zeke clutches his hands to his heart dramatically.

"My hunny bun would never say such a thing, wench!" I tilt my head giving Zeke an evil glare and grinned my teeth together.

"Did you just call me a wench?" I spit. His eyes widen as he backs away slightly.

"Uh no, no maam I did not." He whimpers his features full of panic as I stomp towards him. I shove my face close to his.

"You!" I Scream. "Should see your face." I pat him on the cheek before high fiving Uriah as we fall to the floor in fits of giggles. Zeke stares at us shocked before an evil smile spreads across his face. "Oh it is so on stiff."

We reach the 100th floor and look up at the gaping hole in the ceiling. Well thats one way of getting to the roof. I think as Zeke carries a ladder to the hole climbing up while whistling. When he's up he holds the ladder for the rest of us to climb. I climb the ladder after Uriah, the steps reminding me of the Ferris wheel, I imagine looking down to see the carefree grin Four only shares on the rarest of moments. I turn to jelly stumbling to stay on the ladder. That boy is going to kill me one day. When I'm finally up the wind is so strong it knocks my hair from its ponytail. And I don't care. Because standing there, seeing the beauty of the whole town and I mean the whole town as my hair flies, dancing behind me, I finally feel it. The one thing I've always longed for, freedom. And I will not waste a moment of it. Uriah snaps his fingers by my face drawing my mind back. He points towards a steel cable attached to the building as thick as my wrist I can't see where it ends, but it can't go on forever surely? On the floor by it where large pulleys made of fabric. As Zeke attaches one to the steel cable I see they're large enough for a human being to fit comfortably in. And its official, were going to slide down a steel pole from 1000 feet up, the only thing stopping us from falling, some flimsy fabric. Uriah was right, this is the definition of dangerous. The definition of dauntless. And god, was I exited.

" .God." Uriah said.

I grinned at him, nodding in agreement. He just paled.

Shauna goes first. She jumps in wiggling her body to safety as Zeke straps her in. He pulls her to the buildings edge. Giving a dramatic count down before letting her go. She zooms into the night hurdling towards the ground, squealing all the way until she's only a black speck blending in with the rest of the night. The members woop in excitement before starting a line, shoving each other so they can go sooner. I end up being the first initiate with Uriah behind me. But I can't help the irritation as I wait for the seven people ahead of me. All of the members look as giddy as I feel. The initiates however look like they're about to faint, Uriah included. After what feels like forever its my turn.

"Not too late to back out stiff." Zeke taunts as he hangs my sling. I roll my eyes.

"Can I just get in now, pretty pretty please?" I beg. Zekes eyes widen as he stares me up and down.

He mumbles something like. "I see what Four means now." Before pulling the sling towards me. I jump in head first clapping as I do. "Ready stiff?" He asks. "I have to admit I'm impressed you're not screaming and crying right now."

"Please this chick is more dauntless than any of us, now hurry up." Uriah says.

"Careful brother, or I may not tighten your straps enough. And then." He squishes his hands together. "Splat!"

"Yeah, I'd love to see mums reaction to that." Uriah replies. The brothers share a look before shivering in terror.

"Okay Stiff. On three. One!" He screamed before pushing me off the building. As I begin to hurtle towards the ground.

I shout. "Is that all you got!" Before letting gravity and the wind take me. If I felt freedom on the roof I can't describe what I felt in the air. For this time I could fly, I was not stuck anywhere, just going wherever the world takes me. Well where the pole took me. But from this high I was on top of the world anyway. I fly past old and familiar streets, the marsh and just everywhere. body hummed with adrenaline. As the floor grows closer I see black figures and god help me I cheer. The other dauntless join and soon its an eruption of sound. When I finally stop I'm about 20 feet in the air. I slowly undo the straps holding me in place, while staring down as the dauntless make themselves into my own personal human net. I don't think just fall knowing they will catch me. These are good people, these are my people.

"So what'd you think?" Shauna ask. I tilt my head whilst looking into space with a thoughtful expression.

"When can I go again?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for the reviews! I'm really glad you guys are liking this story. This chapter was pretty hard to write so I hope you're happy with it!**

Chapter 11

"Where were you yesterday?" Chris asked as we walked to the room for stage two.

"Just hung with Uriah for a while, caught up and stuff." I brush off. When we enter the room we find all the initiates, including dauntless born sitting in a hallway tapping their fingers. If stage two is patience I may as well quite and become factionless right now. "What's going on?" I ask sitting opposite Uriah. He looks up from clicking his nails together.

"Don't know Four said something about us doing stage two together then walked out, apparently he'll call our names and we'll go in one at a time." I look at him making an o with my mouth. Marlene sits to his left while Lynn I think, sits on his right. Both looking as bored as Uriah.

"So." Lynn says, looking away from her shoes. "Which one of you is ranked first." I rest my elbow on my knee so I can balance my chin on my fist.

"Me." I reply lazily, already bored.

" Bet I could take you." She says casually as she plays with her piercing. "I'm second but I'm sure anyone could take you, transfer." I raise an eyebrow.

"If we're placing bets." Uriah says after clearing his throat. "I bet 50 points Tris would own you." Lynn looks at him insultingly. Then scoffs.

"Please, shes just a stiff. We've trained for this basically all our lives." I sigh, shaking my head in exasperation. I'm bored of this now, everyone underestimating me before they see what I can actually do. So much so that it doesn't even annoy me anymore. If one of my friends said it, yeah I'd be irritated. A stranger? Please I get that twenty times a day.

"Who's first for you guys?" I ask. Marlene points to Uriah. "Oooh well done." I say winking at him.

He grins at me before wiggling his fingers and yelling "Twinsies." in a ridiculously high voice.

Will stares at Uriah and asks. "Do you think it's fair we have to learn in two weeks what you guys have trained for through out your life?"

"Yeah." Uriah shrugs. "I mean stage one is skill sure but no one can prepare for stage two. Well apparently anyway." The room grows silent until Peter is called twenty minutes later. Eventually the numbers dwindle. When there's around seven of us left Uriah tries to teach me a clap song. Which helps the time go by, who knew it was so difficult to learn something like that? By the time I'm called, over an hour later I still haven't mastered the stupid song.

Four touches my shoulder as he leads me into the room and closes the door. What I see in the room makes me plant my feet firmly to the spot, refusing to move.

"Hell no, I am not going through that freak show again." I say pointing towards the reclining metal chair, with a machine next to it. I am not failing the unfailable test again for two reasons. Firstly according to Tori its a slight safety hazard and I like breathing. And secondly, well as immature as it might sound I'm only just getting over the chunk the first test took from my pride.

"Sit." Four says giving me a gentle push. But I stay exactly where I am.

"Why do I have to do it again? Isn't once enough?" I mope. Crossing my arms over my body.

"Ever heard the phrase facing your fears?" Four says. "We'll we're taking that literally, the simulation will teach you how to control your emotions in a frightening situation."

I let out a steady breath and walk to the chair plonking myself down. The simulation isn't real, it can't hurt me, no point in being scared.

"Do you ever administer the aptitude tests?" I say raising an eyebrow.

"No I avoid stiffs as much as possible." I'm about to ask whats the worst thing an abnegation can do, bake you cookies? When I glance at his eyes. I crinkle my nose and just nod as a response. He arches his eyebrow.

"Wait, no why?" He says surprised.

"Oh so that's it, you say vague answers so we ask, awh you just wanted some attention." I say smiling as I pat his face. Causing an eye roll. He edges closer, his fingers brushing my neck. I shiver under his touch but try to brush it off as nerves. That's when I see the huge syringe with a very big very pointy needle in his other hand.

"You know, Tori just gave me a magic potion. No pointy thing to the jugular."

"We use a more advance version, no wires or electrodes, just a different serum with a transmitter." He says.

"I prefer Tori, you know the nice lady that's not holding a sharp object to my neck." I huff. That's when he takes the opportunity to ease the needle into my neck. Lovely.

"It should take effect in about sixty seconds." He says as he presses down on the plunger. "This serum is different from the aptitude test, it stimulates the amygdala which is part of the brain that produces negative emotions, like fear and then induces a hallucination. I can then see it on the computer and record it for the dauntless administrators. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down. So lower your heart rate and control your breathing." Well doesn't that sound fun. I wince. As a bubble begins to form in my brain growing continuously until I can barely make out the room,

"Be strong Tris." I hear Four say before the bubble pops and the world goes black.

I wake up in my room. The familiar grey bringing a small smile to my face. The room bare only having small necessities. A wardrobe, a bed and a small study for my homework. The only slight extravagance being the clock on the wall, its still night, three in the morning. If my parents knew I was awake at this time they'd be angry. But I feel so thirsty I take the chance. I hold my breath as I open the door waiting for its usual creek. shockingly it doesn't come. I got lucky tonight. I tiptoe towards the stairwell my fingers tracing the wall as I go, trying to remember every detail. Wait, why would I do that? It's not like I won't see them tomorrow. Yet as I walk the feeling that I must store every glance, every touch and every smell to memory carries on. I stare at the calender on the wall. November fifth, I know that date. My body trembles, as it subconsciously tries to remind me. A load sound fills my ears, a pot falling on the floor downstairs. Realization hits me like a punch to the gut and I take the stairs at a run. November fifth, of course I know that day. I run through the dinning room and head straight for the kitchen. This can't happen again, I'm stronger now, I'm dauntless. Reaching the kitchen I see my parents in the corner of the cabinets. "Mum!" I cry as I lunge at her, filling her in my arms. I hold her staring at her beautiful face, a face that even abnegation clothes can't hide.

"Beatrice? No you can't be awake! Go!" My dad yells and through the tears I memorize him too.

"Beatrice, look at me." my mother says pulling my face to hers. "I need you to hide, there are bad people here." I shake my head as I cry harder. Fear and worry lines her face as we hear a door swing open, I try to tell her I can help, that I can keep them safe but instead I whisper "Mum, what's going on I'm scared."

She kisses me on the cheek before taking my hand quickly leading me to the cupboard under the sink. Its small, very small so much so I have to curl my body up to get inside, immobilizing myself. No what are you doing go back out there, go, fight, this is what you trained for! But I couldn't move. I wasn't in control of my own body. No get up! Get up! Why are you letting this happen again? My mum looked at me one more time a sad smile on her lips, "Beatrice remember, me and your father will always love you. Look after Caleb okay?" She whispers, her gentle hands wiping away my tears. She closes the door. But she didn't, not fully anyway. No I can't see this again. I can't.

The kitchen door opens. five men enter, faces hidden by masks. One of the men walk towards my father barely giving him a glance before, with one quick swipe, slit his throat. I bite my lip, stopping myself from crying out as fresh tears spill down my cheeks. My father deserved better than that, better than a careless blow, the man looked as though he was merely in the way before stepping over him. No he deserved better. The other four men surrounded my mother punching and kicking her from all directions, making her fall to her knees. "Well Natalie, we always knew this day would come, Guys pin her." No I can not see this again. No. This isn't real. Deep breath. This isn't real. The men pinned her like a starfish. Weak, that's what I am, I deserve this. No! This isn't real. But it doesn't stop it being my fault. I could have stopped this, I should have stopped this. I hear my mums scream as the man cuts off her thumb. I turn away closing my eyes and covering my ears. I have to get out of here now, this is only the beginning of the show. This isn't real. I take even breaths. I imagine myself standing up, leaving the cupboard and throttling them. The last thing I hear is my mother screaming in agony.

I Open my eyes and don't think, just move, I rush up punching, but the door doesn't open. The scream rushes through my mind and my fist pounds harder, still it doesn't open. . Could have done . All my fault. I try to swing again but my arm doesn't move. I change hands. This one I still control. "Tris." Punch. "Tris." I punch again. "Tris!" I spin around. Four stares back at me. "Tris, its over." My arms fall to my sides as I look around, seeing the white wall's and metal chair of the stage two room.

"You, you told me it was a fear." I whisper almost silent. "You lied to me." My body begins to shake and I feel cold. When did it get so cold?

"That, it was a fear Tris, one of the worst I've seen but its still a fear." I shake my head, my body trembling harder as tears brim to the surface once more.

"Why did you make me do that?" I scream as my legs give way beneath me. He takes my arm wrapping it around his shoulders and helping me up.

"Tris, I'm going to take you back to the dorm okay?"

"No." I say void of emotion. As I wipe the tears away. "They can't see me like this they'll worry." He gave me a sideways look as though I had just grown a second head. But merely said "calm down, I'll take you out the back door." I remove my arm from his shoulders and will my emotions away. I straighten up, shoving my hands in my pockets and force a smile to my face. It looks fake even to me.

"No need, I'm fine, I'm just going to go to the cafeteria." I say with as much confidence as I can muster. But from the look on his face I can tell I'm not fooling either of us.

"Okay." He says as he goes through the door to the other initiates. I let out a deep breath running my fingers through my hair before the door opens again. Four comes back in a first aid kit hung over his shoulder. "Lets go then." He says, taking my arm and leading me out the back door. We walk through the hallway in silence.

"Why did you do that to me?" I murmur.

"Did you think over coming cowardice would be easy?" He asks calmly.

"That's not overcoming cowardice. That's torture. And how does watching my parents die help?" I say wiping my hands on my jeans. His face softened as he turns to me.

"Learning how to think in the midst of fear." He says "Is a lesson that everyone, even your family needs to learn, that's what we're trying to teach you, If you can't learn it, you'll need to get the hell out of here because we don't want you."

"I'm trying." I reply fidgeting with my hands. "But I failed, like, chili chocolate failed."

He sighs. "How long do you think you were in the simulations for?"

"I don't know." I bite my lip. "Half an hour?"

"Three minutes, you got out three times faster than the other initiates, what ever you are you're not a failure." No just a coward. "Tomorrow you'll be better at it you'll see."

I give him an are you kidding me look. "Tomorrow, really?" He just grins touching my back and walking me through the door. "Hate to tell you this but this is the training room, we can't get food here." I say trying not to think of his touch.

"Yeah, but you're upset." He says with a shrug.

"I'm fine." I say swatting my hand.

"No your not, and when you get upset, you do chin ups." He says. I cross my arms.

"I do not."

"Tris, look up." He laughed. I did as told and saw that I had generally walked to the pole with out knowing. My cheeks burn and I itch the back of my neck.

"Smart ass." I mumble as I climb up the pole.

"What was that?" He grinned.

"I said what was your first simulation?" I glance at him as I position myself and begin to lift my body.

"It wasn't so much a what, more a who." I nod in understanding.

"You over your fear now?" I ask

"Not yet." He says sliding his hands in his pockets. "Don't know if i'll ever be."

"I know that feeling." I say with a huff. "Hey." I say with a smile. "Come join me." I wiggle further to the left giving him room. With a shrug he climbs up.

"Why do you do this so much?" He asks.

"To get stronger, I swear we've been over this a hundred times." I say as I come back up our arms touching. I turn to him as the spark flows through my body. We smile at each other before carrying on. We work in silence until I jump down.

"What tired already?" Four smirks.

"No, but I should probably find the others, you know make sure they don't think I died or something." I say. I straighten my hair and wipe my face trying to look presentable. "Do I look like I've been crying?" I ask.

"Hmmm." Four jumps down walking towards me, not stopping until his face is mere centimeters from mine. His eyes narrow as he examines me, our breath intermingling. Causing my heart to race. He grins slowly. "No Tris," He whispers. "You look tough as nails."


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter! It took me so long to do and I was pretty worried about it, so to know it was a success makes me so happy! Anyway here's chapter 12 hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 12

We walk through the pit, Al giving Chris a piggy back ride in a clever ploy to stop her from dragging us into more shops. She already forced me to buy a shirt that reveals my collarbone and shoulders. After forcing me to get a matching dauntless tattoo on my shoulder she told me "If you've got it flaunt it." Before pulling me into a store and throwing the shirt at me. I grudgingly did as told but stayed ten foot away from her at all times glaring at her until the boys devised the plan.

"I can't believe you got another tattoo." Will says shaking his head.

"Well someone had to take one for the team or god help us we'd be hearing about it for a month. In reality I'm a hero." I smirk. He shakes his head again giving me a toothy grin.

"So what was your fear today then hero?" I panic trying to think of a way to cover for my messed up memory.

I decide to just go for "Too much torture."I say nonchalantly. "You?"

He chuckles. "Too much acid." I choose not to question him. Up ahead Al wavers almost dropping Chris, he rearranges her as she starts giving him a lecture on how to treat a lady. I see Four by the chasm with a group of people. He laughs at something heavily, almost falling from it. He has a bottle in his hand and a dopey smile. I almost gasp, the tame soldier that is so serious with his training wasted. Who would've thought it.

"Uh oh." Will says. "Instructor alert."

I gasp. "Oh no, what if he sees us? You think he'll ground us?" Will rolls his eyes while elbowing me. Making me laugh even more.

"Shut up he's scary alright. Remember when he put a gun to Peters head?" I do remember and I still find it hilarious, saying that to Will probably wont help though.

"He is so not sca.."

"Tris!" Four calls out. I turn to him eyes wide, wondering if he heard me. Will turns to me arching an eyebrow as Al and Chris stop ahead of us. She climbs off his back allowing them to get a better view as Four walks up to me. Can't say I blame them, an instructor calling out to an initiate outside of training, yeah that doesn't happen everyday.

"Yes sir." I say giving him a mock salute forcing Will to stifle a laugh.

"You look different." Four says his words slightly slurred. I do look different Chris once again forced her makeup on to my face, but if it gets Four to notice I might have to let her do it more often.

"So do you." He looks younger now, like he didn't carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, making him actually look eighteen. It was a good look for him. "What are you doing?"

"That's my line!" He laughs I joined in moments later. "Flirting with death, drinking near the chasm, probably not a good idea." He says after calming down.

"No it isn't." I laugh enjoying the teenage Four.

"Didn't know you had a tattoo." He say examining my collarbone. I shrug as he glances over at his friends. Who are still partying without him. "I would ask you to join us, but you're not supposed to see me like this." Well I couldn't say I didn't want to, This carefree Four was something I was definitely glad to see.

"Like what?" I ask. "Wasted?"

"Yeah.. Well no." He says as he shakes his head continuously, I try not to laugh. "Real I guess."

"If it helps I'll pretend I didn't."

"Nice of you." He leans in close, really close. "You look good Tris." And that's it my heart goes into overdrive and I'm fairly sure there's heat rising in my cheeks. Yeah I'll definitely have to let Chris loose more often. I stare into his eyes seeing the way they glaze over, he has no clue what he just did. That boy really is trying to kill me. I clear my throat trying to calm myself down.

"Of course I'm nice, I'm the stiff remember. That reminds me, do me a favor and stay away from the chasm okay?" I say brushing off his complement. I see the hint of a frown cross his lips but before I can blink its gone.

"Of course." He replies with a wink. I smile at him, Will nudges me in the ribs trying to get my attention, I ignore it not wanting to turn from Four, our eyes lock and my smile grows. That's when Al grabs me by the waist and halls me over his shoulder.

"Come on super hero I'm taking you to dinner." I wave at Four as Al escorts me to the cafeteria. "I thought I would rescue you." He says setting me down at our table. "What was that about?" Al asks sadly. His crush coming through his words.

"Yeah I think we'd all like to know the answer to that question, what did number boy say?" Chris asks wiggling her eyebrows.

"Nothing." I sign.

"Oh is that why you've got a huge smile on your face?" Will smirked.

"I do not." I say defensively.

"Actually, you kinda do." Chris snickered.

"He didn't know what he was saying." I sigh. "He's drunk that's why I was smiling."

"Oh yeah couldn't be because..." I punch him in the stomach,he was the only other person to hear what Four said and I was not about to let Chris find out. She'd go girl crazy and take all the credit.

"Because he told me about how amazingly skilled I am, why yes it is." I say in a cocky tone causing the others to laugh, I join relishing the dauntless lifestyle.

I take deep shallow breaths. Can you get asma?

"Tris it's just a simulation." But its not, its a memory. If it hadn't happened I wouldn't mind as much. But it did and living through it once was already more than I could handle, let alone twice. "It will probably be a different simulation Tris." I take another deep breath nodding. Will said something about acid maybe it'll be that.

"Will I be able to move in this one?" I ask my eyes pleading.

"You couldn't in the last one?" He asks shocked. I shake my head. "It must have been something to do with the fear." He says trying to give me a reassuring smile. I just nod once more before closing my eyes as I feel the bubble beginning to burst. Here goes nothing.

I wake up in my room. And I curse as I see the gray walls. Yep my parents would not be impressed. I look at the clock, three am. "It will probably be a different simulation Tris." I say mocking Fours voice. I open my door not bothering with being quiet this time round. As I walk through the hallway I begin to think. If part of this fear is me not being able to move how do I conquer it? There must be a way surely. I walk past the calender, November 5th, again. I reach up to it ripping it from the wall and chucking it with all my strength. If I can't conquer it whats the point in all this I huff. I hear a loud bang, the pan. That's my cue I think as my body runs down the stairs on its own. I reach the kitchen and find my parents in the corner of the cabinets. "Mum!" I cry as I lunge at her, filling her in my arms. How many times do I have to see this. How many times do I have to watch my parents die? My beautiful mother mutilated.

"Beatrice? No you can't be awake! Go!" My dad yells and through the tears I replace his worried features with the ones full of love in my memory.

"Beatrice, look at me." my mother says pulling my face to hers. "I need you to hide, there are bad people here." I shake my head as I cry harder. Fear and worry lines her face as we hear a door swing open, I whisper "Mum, what's going on I'm scared." I try to move my lips again, but it doesn't work. I grow more and more angry as I try to force any movement but once again nothing happens.

She kisses me on the cheek before taking my hand quickly leading me to the cupboard under the sink. Once again I curl myself up relying on others to protect me. My mum looked at me one more time a sad smile on her lips, "Beatrice remember, me and your father we'll always love you. Look after Caleb okay?" She whispers, her gentle hands wiping away my tears. She closes the door. But she didn't, not fully anyway. No I will not see this again I'm getting out now. I stare at my hand and as if never immobilized it curls. I smile as I try to move to open the door. But its like an invisible force field guards it, my hand stops working after a certain point, I groan in frustration.

The kitchen door opens. five men enter, faces hidden by masks. One of the men walk towards my father. Hell no. I feel an object on the smooth surface of the cupboard, I clutch it my fingers remembering the shape of the gun before my mind fully registers it. Without thought I shoot the gun at the man. Waiting for him to collapse but he keeps walking the bullet disappearing in thin air. I shake, my eyes closing as the tears shed. No this can't happen, not again. I'd rather die than see this. That's when it clicks. I watch the man inches from my father and with a trembling hand raise the gun to my head. "Its just a simulation." I whisper. Before pulling the trigger.

I gasp and within seconds I head to the wall, and being the essence of calm I am, punch a hole through it.

"What was that?" Four gasps.

"Pretty sure that's my question." I huff.

"How did you get the gun?"

"That's what you took from that?"

"Tris."

"I don't know okay, one minute it wasn't there, then it was, what I want to know is why the hell I had to deal with that." I point at the chair. "Again."

He sighs grabbing my arm. I try to shake him off to no avail as he drags me from the room into a hallway. He stares at me expectantly.

"No, I'm not going to ask." I say folding my arms. "I'm mad at you."

He huffs mirroring me as I tap my foot in annoyance. "You're divergent." I turn my head trying to stop myself shaking. I must have messed up I knew I shouldn't have done these stupid simulations. I should have just asked to fight a lion instead, it sounds less painful.

"Whats divergent?" I ask examining my nails as I pout. Trying to mock stupidity.

"Don't play stupid." He says. I glance upwards with a dramatic sigh, for the love of god am I that transparent. "I suspected it last time, but this time its obvious. You manipulated the simulation, I'll delete the footage, but unless you want to end up at the bottom of the chasm you'll learn how to hide it during simulations! Now if you'll excuse me." He begins walking away as I stare wide eyed. "Oh by the way." He says turning round. "I do not sound like that." I bite my lip as my cheeks go crimson. How did I forget he was watching? I stare at the floor as he leaves, wondering how in hell I was going to get out of this one.

"Tori." She looks up from her paperwork, the tattoo parlor is basically empty save the one man getting a tattoo by the other artist.

"Really Tris another." I shake my head causing her grin to vanish. "Better go in the back then." I follow her through the curtain to a comfortable space with a few chairs. She motions for me to sit, I do.

"What's going on, how are the simulations?"

"Erg awful." I moan shaking my head. "A little different from most though, so I'm told." She nods in understanding and offers a weak smile. " Can you just cut the bull now Tori? I need to know, I need to know what I am, what it means, what to do. Because shockingly I enjoy breathing." I wipe my face in agitation. "What does what I am have to do with simulations?"

Tori shifts. Her posture straightening as she puts up a defensive stance. Taking a deep breath she begins. "You, you're someone that's aware. Aware in simulations, aware that whats happening isn't real." She says. "You can also manipulate the simulation, shut it down sometimes, but people like you tend to have a certain side effect if you join dauntless."

I raise an eyebrow. Folding my arms. "Which is?"

"Death." Oh lovely. My heart sinks as I try not to have a break down.

"Well... That's uhm interesting?"

"Don't worry." I laugh, don't worry. You may catch a little bit of death Tris but don't worry. It was ridiculous. I slouch in the chair hugging myself. "The dauntless leaders don't know about you yet. I deleted your aptitude test, but make no mistake, they find you, you're dead." I sigh as I stand. I turn towards the curtain.

"Thanks Tori, I appreciate this, and I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"For whoever they took from you." I walk out wondering how much longer I'd last.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I hold my head in my hands as I breath deeply before falling into the push up position.

"What are you doing?" Four questions.

"You're the one that whinged about me wrecking the decor." I reply dryly. Today's simulation was the same as yesterdays, which was the same as the day before and the day before that."It will probably be a different simulation he said." I mutter when I push fully up. "It'll be fine he said." He gives me a groan.

"Well I thought it would be." I glare at him. "I mean it! I've never met an initiate who's fear is constantly repeated. It's going to be really difficult for you in stage three." I roll my eyes as I do another push up, this time I managed to get out after my mothers third finger was cut off. I shiver at the memory. "Why?"

"Well you wont be able to plan for your fears if you don't know them. My theory is that this is your worst fear, so no others will come up until you have to go through all of them." Spectacular. I still haven't worked out why I can't move in the simulation. If I could I wouldn't have to continue the torture, I can't even use the gun anymore. I shake my head in exasperation as I stand.

"Alright genius why can't I move?"

"I have no idea." I raise my eyebrows. "What?" He questions as I stand up with a patronizing smile.

"How much did it hurt for you to admit that?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He crosses his arms as he watches me. "Now if you don't mind I have other initiates to scare." He says pointing towards the door. I shrug my shoulders and head out aiming for the dorms. When I get there I see everyone gathered around in clusters. God who's eye came out now?

"Whats going on?" I ask standing by Will.

"Rankings for stage two." Will replies.

"I thought there were no cuts in stage two."

"There isn't, its just a check up I guess." I sigh in relief. The end of stage two, no more torture for me, I feel like I could dance. Eric clears his throat as he begins writing on the chalk board. The initiates gather together trying to gain the best possible view point, but I could care less about the score so I lay on my bed focusing on a blotch on the the ceiling. I really need to visit Caleb soon. How will I do it though, we're not allowed off the premises without an escort and I'm pretty sure Eric wouldn't be too found of being my gal pal all the way to erudite. I could ask Four but I feel like he knows enough of my secrets for a life time, maybe Zeke or Shauna. That might work. We seemed to get on during the initiation ceremony. Gasps pull me out of my trance and I find the whole room staring at me.

"Uh, did I say something out loud?" I say rubbing my palms on my legs.

"How?" Chris asks apparently the assigned designated speaker.

"Are we doing riddles now?" I joke apparently no one else sees the humor. Tough room.

"How is your time two and a half minutes?" Chris rephrases. Her eyes glaring as she sizes me up. I take the chance to stare at the board. Peter is second but his times eight minutes, more than three times mine. Woops. Keeping my calm I shrug. "Just calm my heart rate, I guess." The others don't seem too convinced but I can't be bothered to deal with their drama so I lay back in bed not talking to anyone. Eventually Al sits on the bed next to me tears in his eyes. I watch as he cries not quite knowing what to do, I contemplate closing my eyes, thinking he needs some time alone, however as I think it I see the look in his eyes as he curls in the fetal position and I sit up. No way is a friend of mine giving up with out a fight.

"You can get better you know, this isn't the end." I say.

"Oh really? How?" He replies bitterly. I stare at him, the snark on his face so unlike the normal carefree Al I'm used to.

"Train for it." I shrug. "I'll help if you want."

"I don't need _your_ help, just go. I want to be alone!" He hisses. I walk out of the room confused as hell. It takes me a while to realize I actually let Al kick me out of my bed, but at this point I just don't care. As always I end up in the training room doing chin ups.

"Tris!" I jump almost falling from the bar.

"Uriah If you could not almost kill me, that would be great." I say regaining my balance. "What are you doing here anyway?"

He studies the bar for a minute before he climbs up it joining me on my right. "Figured I'd find you here. Well actually I just looked everywhere but here." Uriah swings his feet idly. "Kind of a weird hobby, do you actually do this for fun?" I look down as I nod. "Okay weird acts aside congrads little miss first." He nudges my shoulder playfully and I give up on the chin ups, choosing to just sit on the bar instead.

"How'd you find out?"

"Uh please as if you're not first at everything. I'd be surprised if you didn't rank first against the dauntless born let alone the transfers." He says seriously. And its weird, I mean really weird to see Uriah without his signature grin, or the mischievous twinkle in his eye. Everyone's surprising me today. I look down again his stare making my cheeks hot.

"Well thanks, did you get first too?" He shakes his head and I let my mouth fall dramatically. "What? The great Uriah losing, who would have thought it."

"Hey." He bats me playfully. "I'm only second by a _hair."_ I laugh silently as I wrap my legs around the pole and hang upside down. "Uh Tris?" He says as I fold my arms. Not looking in his direction.

"Nope, can't even look at you anymore, everything I know is a lie." He lets out a loud chuckle as he follows suit joining my upside down world.

"You know I.." I shove my hand over his mouth. Signaling to get down. We do so silently just in time for the door to squeal open.

"Tris, it is so on." My eyes go wide as I glance between Four and Zeke. Each armed with balloons, and from the looks of it their chosen ammunition is flour.

"Gentleman it's so nice to- Uriah run!" We make it ten feet before the first balloon hits, landing on my shoulder. A puff of white found on impact. I curse. Well it was a good idea in theory. "Uriah you can still get out, I'll distract them." I tell him as I turn towards the two boys.

"No Tris, we'll do this together, on three okay?" I nod slowly. "One, Two, three." And that's when we charged. We ran towards the guys at full force not backing down even through the hits, I hear a cry from Uriah as he falls to the floor, but I keep going. Five feet, I was five feet away from them. That's when it happened, I was hit in the face. My vision blurred as I stumble hitting the ground hard.

"Victory!" Four and Zeke scream as they high five. I rub my eyes standing to help Uriah up. Uriah looks up at me his eyebrow raised. I raise mine in response. We smile, both nodding our head in agreement.

"Gentleman." I say "This means war."

As we head out towards the dorms I wait back from the brothers bickering to talk to Four.

"So that's why you kicked me out huh?" I laugh.

A mischievous grin grows on his face. "Maybe."

"How'd he rope you into it?"

"Well some unknown source." He jokingly glares at me. "Told him I find him annoying, teaming up for this seemed like the only way to stop him moping." I snicker imagining Zeke acting like a house wife in need of attention. "Plus it sounded fun." His smile growing as he lifts a strand of my hair that was distinctly white. My heart jumps as I stop dead in my tracks to stare at him. He loops his finger around the lock unconsciously playing with it and my body goes into over drive. I take his hand removing it from my hair loving the small blush he gains in his cheeks as he realizes what he'd just done. But instead of dropping his hand I lock my fingers with his. I can't explain why. I just felt the need, just wanted to see if his hands where as gentle as I thought, just wanted to know if his hands would engulf mine. They were and they did. But that wasn't the surprise, the surprise was the fact he let me do it. I stare up at him waiting for the frown or an awkward look. Instead I find his eyes already locked to mine, the serious expression he make when concentrating on his face. I almost choke on a breath. I lower my eyes to the floor as I drop his hand and head to the dorm as quickly as humanly possible. No way was I going to let him see me blush. By the time I make it to the dorm everyone's asleep allowing me to slip into bed, pride still intact.

**I loved writing this chapter, something about Four actually acting his age makes me smile. So I hope you liked it.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hmmmm don't know how I feel on this one. Hope you guys enjoy. **

Chapter 14

I wake up to a hand around my mouth. Not very friendly but I'll take it over being stabbed in the eye any day. Who ever owns the hand must be big, and use very feminine soap. I try to ask them what they want but it sort of comes out as whuighhdow so I decide thrashing around and making a nuisance of myself would be the better option. I try to stand but shockingly hands keep me down. Did they put a blindfold on me? Why is it so dark? Oh if they made me blind I am going to be pissed. I bite down on the hand covering me.

"Ow!" A low voice cries..

"Shut up and keep her voice covered." Yep Peters behind this, I would know his girly squeals anywhere. Spectacular. They begin to drag me up and I start counting the hands. Okay one on each arm, one on each shoulder, That's two people. Two hands on my back that makes three. This is obviously Drew Peter and Molly's handiwork, but who has their hand on my mouth? It makes no sense. They drag me further, but if they thought this would be easy they're deranged. I dig my heels into the ground all the while struggling with everything I've got.

"Wonder what it sounds like when a stiff begs for mercy." Peter laughs. Yeah, like I'd give him the satisfaction.

I hear water. A lot of water. My heart jumps to my throat as I curse. We must be at the chasm. Call me crazy but I'd rather not go for a swim. The crashing on the rocks get louder and I know my times running out, damn. "Lift her up come on." Uh no. How about I stay where I am. I kick behind me hitting someones knee. From the sound of the curse I'd say Molly.

"How about you guys get the hell off of me." I say as I strike the nearest person,but its useless. As my arms are pulled behind my back.

"Can you at least get this stupid blind fold off of me." I say as they push me to something metallic. The metal railing oh joy. My attackers the only thing standing between me and certain death. What could possibly go wrong?

"Maybe we could just take it off..." A male voice says calmly, wait I know that voice.

"Al?" I get no response and I don't need one. I feel myself grow pale. My friends doing this to me? What did I do? I stop struggling. Just becoming dead wait in my attackers arms. Someone begins taunting me, I think Peter not that I could care less. That's when someones fist makes contact with my face. I hiss but stay as I am. Another fist makes contact with my stomach, a pretty good one too. The force brought me to my knees. Someone grabs me by the hair smashing my head into the metal pole. Ow. I take the chance to remove the blindfold just in time to see Peter reaching for me. Fair enough. I let him do it. Drew joins him in lifting me as I cross my arms around my chest. I see someone run towards us but I dismiss them I see Al run in the opposite direction, I can't say I blame him the dude does not look happy. Wait I know him, its Four. He reaches us mere seconds after I'm pushed off the railing.

Sometimes when something big happens you change your mind at the last second. That is what I selfishly did as I grabbed hold of the bottom of the railing with one of my hands. Its a funny thing death, you take it lightly until your almost pushed into it. Specs begin to line my vision as dizziness tries to over power me. But I made my choice. A scream snaps me as close to reality as a head wound will allow. I hear fists make contact, bone crunching and a very load groan.

"A little help here." I murmur as the room spins, my grip loosening. He pears down. His eyes full of anger, then shock and if I'm not as delusional as I think I am he looked relieved. Four grabs my arm haling me up on to sweet flat ground. I would have relished it, would have if I didn't topple over. Four crouches as he examines my body making sure no limbs are falling off then scoops me up in his arms. I press my face into his shoulder trying to rid my mind of its dizzying state.

"Yo compardray, care to head towards a pole?" I mumble sleepily.

"If you think I'm letting you dangle off of anything tonight, you are deluded." Four barks.

"Meanie." I grumble as I let myself give in to much needed sleep.

I open my eyes to the words Fear god alone. That's me the symbol of irony.

I'm propelled into a sitting position from the sound of rushing water, chuckling to myself as I realize its just a faucet. I look around trying to establish where I actually am. Its an apartment, well sort of its more like a huge room as its so open plan, the walls are white and there's a few counter tops, tables that sort of thing. I search for the source of the water finding Four in the bathroom washing his knuckles. They change the waters color, not that he seems to care, he has a small cut on his mouth forcing me to cringe. He got that defending me, defending someone that didn't even try. The faucet lets out a small shriek of protest as its switched off, he wipes his hands on a towel then goes to the refrigerator and grabs an ice pack, heading towards me, I should say thank you.

"Are you my nurse?" Slips out instead. The corner of his mouth quirks up as he slides the icepack behind my head, I hold it in place.

"You. Should be lying down." I wave him off crinkling my nose.

"Your hands." I gasp as he itches an eyebrow. The cuts are a lot deeper than I thought.

"Are none of your concern." He replies. He leans over me re-positioning the ice pack, because apparently I don't know where the cut is. My hand moves on its own. My thumb stroking the cut on his mouth. "Tris, I'm all right." I let myself have a few more seconds before I let my hand fall.

"Well." I say as I stand dusting myself off. "Thank you." He stands looking at me skeptically.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asks folding his arms.

"Well..."

"No."

"No?"

"No, I told you, you are not doing chin ups tonight, not with your injuries."

"But..."

"No."

"But listen..."

"Sit."

"You don't"

"Sit."

"Fine." I huff bouncing onto the bed. "So when can I go back to the dorm?" He itches his chin as he thinks.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Did I stutter?"

I huff again examining my nails. I slide onto my back examining the ceiling. "This isn't fair." I mope.

"Life's not fair." he retorts. I sit back up glaring at him. A small plan forming, he said chin ups. I edge my way to the floor as Four scrutinizes my every movement.

"What are you doing?" He asks irritably.

"Why do you always ask that?" I chime as I set my limbs into place.

"Because your insa... No, you are not." He picks me up like a rag doll chucking me back to the bed. "Doing press ups."

"Dude patient." I point to myself before letting out a sigh, even I know when I'm beat. Awkward moments go by as Four glares at me like I'm a convicted felon every time I make a movement. Eventually I chose to stay still. A sudden thought crosses my mind, my body begins to tremble.

"You didn't hurt Al did you?" I whimper. Hugging my legs to my body watching my toes wiggle. If the sudden change of topic bothered him he didn't show it.

"No." Four says a frown appearing on his face. "He ran away before I had the chance." I close my eyes nodding in thanks.

"Good." I feel the mattress change as Four sits down.

"Tris..." I shake my head I don't want to talk about it. He notices the change in my demeanor and drops it thankfully. But the sudden lack of conversation leaves us in silence. I don't like silence, never have. Silence lets you think about things. Like say what you must have done to make one of your best friends try to kill you. I hug myself tighter staring at the blue comforter beneath me. I feel Fours stare but don't look up, just trace the pattern with my finger. A fly away hair goes over my face but before I have the chance Four catches it, sliding it behind my ear.

"I'll take the couch." Four says as he stands quickly. I watch as he makes his bed up before lying in it. I lay on my side not facing him. Not wanting him to see the pathetic little girl I've become.

"Tris," Four says awkwardly. "Why don't you ever call me Four?"

I turn my face up slowly looking him dead in the eye.

"Because you don't like the name." His eyebrows lift. "Why, do you want me to call you that?"

"No I." He stutters. "How do you know that?"

"Because you're brave." I shrug. Falling back down. "The name sounds like you're hiding something, or running, why would I call you something that probably constantly makes you feel like a coward?" Four stays silent.

"Not as brave as you Tris." I hear him whisper before I let the darkness engulf me once more.

I wake up to the gentle hum of Fours breath. A sound I could definitely get used to. Smiling at how innocent he looks when asleep. I stand slowly, poking myself to evaluate injuries. No broken ribs, no concussion, life's pretty sweet really. Well that's what I thought until I found a mirror.

"Son of a." I grumble as I stare at the light blue bruise along my cheek. This does not work for me. On the plus side its not a black eye plus nothings broken. On the down side my cheek looks like a watercolor painting. I huff. Tying my hair in a messy knot. I stare at my reflection analyzing the bruise with a frown on my face.

"It doesn't look that bad." I whip my body around making me face to face with Four.

"Easy for you to say, you don't look like you just lost a paint ball fight." I run a hand through my hair in agitation. He tilts my head to the side, inspecting the bruise further before tsking it away.

"Hows the head?" He asks, walking behind me to no doubt inspect that wound.

"Good as new. No damage done." And its the truth, my body's pretty hard to break these days, that's the good thing about two years of continuous beatings, it makes you pretty hard Waring. His hand drops to my stomach casually, as he traces circles. I hitch a breath.

"And your stomach?"

"Empty. Can we go get food please?"

His lips quirk. "Sure, what are you going to do when you see Peter?" I tap my finger on my bottom lip in thought. Then shrug. I never was one for plans more a make it up as I go along kind of girl. He rolls his eyes. "Tris, he tried to kill you."

"Details." I wave it off.

He looked up to the ceiling making a give me strength kind of gesture. Like I'm that difficult. He walks through into the cafeteria first while I wait a couple of minutes. Trying to work out how much more of my pride will be striped after today. I brace myself for the mocking, the snickers, the people saying they were right all along, saying that I am just a little girl. With a deep breath I walk through the door, head held high. I hear gasps and murmurs as I walk but I pay them no mind, just head to Chris and Will. Al no where to be seen. Uriah joins seconds later. For a while they all just stare, shocked.

"Guys, Its considered rude to stare." I say whilst grabbing a muffin.

"What happened to you?" Will asks in a hushed tone. I glance behind me, to Peters table, where he looks white as a sheet. I physically see him swallow. Oh yeah, he thought he killed me. Awkward. He looks at me his eyes growing wider with each second a giggle rises in my throat. Who knew I could get revenge without meaning to.

All in all he looks to be in one piece as does Molly who sits beside him, also looking like she's seen a ghost. Interesting.

"The ugly trio." I bite into my muffin. "Decided to try and spin an Edward on me." I lick my fingers. Deciding not to mention Al.

"Oh god." Chris shrieks.

"Are you alright?" Uriah asks.

I turn back to Peter and Molly giving them a taunting wave, they cringe backwards, my smile grows.

"Just dandy."I chime.

Its funny really all this talk about divergence getting me thrown into the chasm, when in actual fact my charming personality can do it by itself. I've said it before and I'll say it again, people need to stop underestimating me. I'll never really be safe, even if I was normal. May as well move on.

"But three against one?" Uriahs face narrows.

Its from this moment I wish Al wasn't there, three against one I can handle, unfair odds but hey I'd pull through, but with Al there I couldn't fight back, I was powerless and that hurts more than any punch.

My thoughts are shifted as Drew limps in to the cafeteria. His face makes mine model worthy, Its bright purple, not one part of it not swollen. He has cuts and gashes everywhere I look. My mouth hangs open, he looks like hes been hit by a truck. I glance at Four who's trying to hide his satisfied smile with his hand. Oh that's where the cracking and groaning came from. I take back what I said Four's pretty scary when he wants to be.

Uriah whistles. "Damn Tris, I see you didn't go down without a fight."

I shake my head. "Wasn't me, apparently someones stealing your thunder Uriah, a dashing hero swooped in and saved the day." I wink. Causing Uriah to fake gush. "My pay back is over there." I point towards Peter and Molly both still in shock as they tremble.

"What the hell did you do?" Will hisses.

"Well it totally slipped my mind, but they kinda thought they threw me off the chasm." The three of them gaped at me.

"They were going to kill you?" Chris asks incredulously.

"Pfft try more like, shockingly I'm pretty hard to kill." I pull at my collar as I brag. "But I think they think I'm a ghost." I wave at them again only to see them edge away slowly. I raise my eyebrows. "Now that. Is a nifty little power." We watch them squirm under my gaze a little while longer before turning back around.

"So I'm friends with a ghost?" Uriah asks excitedly.

"No Uriah still kicking over here."

"Oh." Disappointment all over his face.

I punch him softly in the shoulder. Feeling offended.

After Four gives us a tour of the fear landscape a weight lifts from my mind. No more worrying about my divergence being uncovered. Whats that expression? When one issue is averted another twice the size takes its place. Well that's what happens when we reached the dorms. Al sits on his bed his eyes blotchy and red from tears, my heart melts. I walk up to him putting my hand on his shoulder as I lean to his ear.

"Can I talk to you?" I ask. He's taken aback but nods his head following me into the hallway.

"Look Tris..."

"Al I am so sorry." I cry clutching my head in my hands. He freezes his mouth hanging wide. I take his hands in mine as tears threaten to fall. "What ever I did I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. I really didn't mean to hurt you and what I did must have hurt you really badly. For you to be willing to kill me I must be despicable, not worthy of living. But I promise I'll try as hard as I can to be a better friend, to not hurt the people I love, all I want to do is protect you guys and I failed." I sob now and not the silent sobs, the loud snotty sobs. I hurt my friend. I hurt a friend so badly he wanted to kill me. Do I really deserve to still be alive?

"No Tris, its not..." He begins. I sniff wiping away my tears but more follow. How am I supposed to protect them when I'm this weak? I stare at the floor not wanting to see the disapproval in his face. Instead I do what I do best. I run. I run before he can tell me I'm not worth it, that I'm pathetic, an awful friend or worst of all a failure.

I run to the only place I can the training room. I consider the pole but swiftly reject it as a dry sob fills my throat making me shiver. Instead I do the same as I always do when a loved one is hurt, hide in a cramped place, this one just so happens to be the corner behind the punching bag. I let my sobs flow gruff and loud not bothering to hide them. I hug my knees as I stuff my face into my lap. I hear footsteps but pay them no mind everyone sees me as weak anyway.

"Tris."

"Go away." I sniff not bothering to look up at Four. I feel him plop beside me, stroking my hair soothingly.

"Did Peter try something?" I shake my head another sob escaping. "Then what is it?" He asks rubbing my back.

"I'm an awful person." I murmur more to myself than to him.

"That's a bit melodramatic don't you think?" Laughter fills his voice but it quickly dies down. "Wait." He pulls my face up away from my knees examining it. "You're serious?"

I wipe stray tears from my eyes. "I hurt everyone I love, I'm too stupid to realize they need help and when I realize, I'm too weak to help." I pull at my hair in frustration trying to stop the tears. "I'm a coward."

"Wait is this about Al?" I stand up agitated beginning to pace.

"Al, My parents, everyone!" I shout. "I have chances to help them but do I? Of course not! Because I'm Tris too weak and pathetic to help the only things that matter! What do I do when people need my help? I run and hide like some weakling!"

"Tris!" Four grabs me by the shoulders obstructing my path. "Al attacked you out of desperation do you understand?" He shakes me hard. "He sees you as a threat, not weak! And your parents are a simulation, do you understand a simulation!"

"But its not just a simulation!" I scream load. I am so tired of this. "I watched as my parents were murdered! My mother was tortured for five hours screaming in agony! I should of helped her I should of." I fall to the floor my legs no longer able to carry me. Red hot tears return to my eyes. "I should of tried." I whimper.

Realization flashes in Fours eyes as he studies me, still he doesn't miss a beat. "You were a fourteen year old abnegation girl Tris, the only thing you would have succeeded in is getting yourself killed."

"I watched my parents die, I watch my friend turn into a killer, all because I'm weak." Four gives me a deep look before walking towards the other end of the room, a loud squeak pulls my hysterical mind towards the bar that Four is now hanging from.

"What are you doing?" I ask quietly my throat hoarse.

"Chin ups." He replies matter of factly.

"Why?"

He lifts an eyebrow. "To get stronger." The hysteria begins to bubble down as I watch Four pull his body upwards. "Well going to join me?"

An almost smile escapes as I pull myself to my feet and haul up the bar. We do chin ups for hours.


	15. Chapter 15

**Oops another chapter whoops. This ones only small though so it doesn't really count... Plus you know I'm procrastinating my engineering course work.**

**Hope you guys liked the last chapters anyway lets get this party started.**

Chapter 15

"Tris! There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you!" Chris shouts running towards the pole her arms flailing.

"We'll whats up?" I ask pulling my body up once more.

"Al he..." She chokes on a sob. "He died Tris." No. No no no no no. I freeze mid pull, stund. I hear a scream, but it doesn't really register. All I know is one minute I'm staring at Christina, the next I'm staring at the ceiling. But what does it matter? Al's dead. "And its all your fault." A voice in my head whispers. I promised, promised this wouldn't happen again. And what happens?

"What happened?" I say, emotionless. Stopping whatever conversation Chris and Four were having.

"He jumped off the chasm." Chris quivered. Of course he did. Anyone should have been able to tell from his sobs at night that he was taking it hard, that he needed help, that he needed a friend. Not Tris though, no she was too stupid for that. I laugh bitterly. God forbid I actually helped.

"Note."

"What?" I ask snapping myself back to reality.

"He left you a note, here." She produces a small envelope from her pocket and hands it to me.

_Dear Tris_

_I know you will probably never forgive me for what I did, and I can't blame you. All I want to tell you is I'm so sorry and there was no excuse for what I did. But don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong. You were perfect, have always been perfect actually. So don't be sorry because the only thing I can blame you for is being the one thing that got me out of bed at dauntless. The only person that for a split second made me forget home, and for that I'll always owe you._

_Don't take my death hard, live on, get stronger, rank first. If anyone deserves it you do._

_You can't save everyone Tris, god knows you'll try but for now know that you did save me._

_Goodbye._

_Al._

I crumple the paper in my hands my eyes narrowing. I stand up dusting myself off as I lean in to stretch. Chris and Four give me a weird look as I bend touching my toes.

"What are you doing?" Four asks worriedly.

"Why do you always ask that?" I spit.

"Well you just went from despair to competitive in 0.5 seconds." Chris snarked.

"What did that letter say?"

"Can you just get on the mat and spar with me?" Four stares at me like I'm a scientific experiment. "Please." He sighs but joins me. We start straight away, Four jabbing me in the side, but I can tell he's not using his full speed, or power. "Stop taking it easy on me." I growl. He doesn't seem too eager however gradually his moves become faster, stronger making it more and more difficult to block. He forces me on the defensive managing to get a few hits through my defense. Eventually though I land a few kicks to his ribs. I make a mistake though, during the kicks I leave myself open and with one swift hit to the ribs, my balance is lost causing me to tumble to the floor. Knocking the air from my lungs. Four pins me then offers me a hand up. By then were both panting heavily.

"You're really." He breaths. "Something Tris." I nod in agreement walking one again to the other side of the mat, settling in my fighting stance.

"Again." I order.

"Tris you're injur..."

"Again!"

Chris stares at me wide eyed but doesn't question it. "Do it Four, everyone has to grieve somehow." Pfft ridiculous. It convinced Four though as he sprang into action once more, this boy was born to fight. He was probably the best dauntless had to offer. Chris apparently already bored walks out with a dramatic huff.

But Chris was wrong this wasn't to grieve, no this was to prove Al wrong. I will not lose another friend, I will protect them and lets face it, if I can beat Four I can beat anyone.

Four grabs my hand flipping me, yeah this is definitely going to take some time.

"Tris stop it." Four says by my ear as he pins me. "This is not the way a dauntless would act." I fling my leg over his side causing us to switch positions with me straddling him. But he sees it coming adjusting his body to flip us back over, pinning my shoulders down. "Dauntless would not get angry with this, its a sign of bravery Tris!" I let my leg fly hitting him in the shins, enough for his grip to falter putting me back on top. "If that is a sign of bravery I'd hate to see one of cowardice." I spit. He growls in my ear forcing us into a joint rollypolly where he comes out pinning me. Again. I'm getting dizzy.

"Can you not see I'm trying to help you here? They're already watching you! Why the hell do you have to be so abnegation?" I grit my teeth trying to get out of his grasp but he doesn't budge.

"I might not need you to help me, I'm not weak you know. I can deal with this myself." I say gritting my teeth. Yes I'm aware that less than two hours ago I was screaming that I was weak but hey I'm argumentative and I really don't need his help.

He shakes his head anger bubbling inside of him. " You think my first reaction is to protect you. Because you're small, or a girl, or a stiff. But you're wrong." His grip tightens on my shoulders as he inches his face closer to mine our breaths mingling. My skin tingling from the nearness of him, I tell myself its just anger.

"My first instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press." My body stiffens, That is definitely not the most comforting thing I've ever heard and for once I keep my mouth shut.

"But I resist." he breaths as our eyes lock together.

"Why?" I ask the words coming out as a pant. I clear my throat trying again. "Why is that your first instinct?"

"Fear doesn't slow you down, it wakes you up, I've seen it, its fascinating." He lifts himself with his elbows as he studies my face. " Sometimes I just want to see you again, see you awake." I look down avoiding his eyes not knowing what to say. That's when I take a risk. I wiggle free of his grip pulling my arms around his chest clutching his back. He locks up in shock, after a few seconds though he turns on his side pulling me closer. I snuggle in. Resting my head on his chest.

"Its a waste of your time you know." I say with a bleak expression.

"Mhhhmm?" He mumbles distractedly as he strokes my hair.

"Trying to break me, It doesn't work." I say spaced out by just the smell of Four. Its breathtaking. "People have tried, really tried, but there's always a fatal flaw."

He watches me his eyes deep in thought. "And what's that?"

I smile, pulling myself up from the floor, It takes all my will to prize myself from Four and I feel cold through my body when his leaves.

I pull my hair into its usual pony tail, dusting myself off.

"I always get back up."


	16. Chapter 16

**Well now it's time for the big one, because that's not terrifying. TrueDivergentFan I hope you don't have too high expectations :S**

**Hope you guys enjoy.**

Chapter 16

In one of our groups more sober moods, me Chris and Will have a memorial service for Al, just the three of us.

"Can't believe he's gone." Chris says staring into the chasm. Me and Will nod in agreement. "Well we should probably get going, I want to put Peters hand in a bowl of water tonight." She quirks. Will wraps his hand with hers unconsciously and I smile. I knew something was between the two. We begin walking as I see movement from the other side of the pit. Four walks above us on the glass ceiling.

"Uh guys, I'll see you later, I need to talk to Four about something." Chris wiggles her eyebrows causing Will to laugh.

"Numbers boy eh?"

I groan. But just stare at their joint hands with a knowing smile. Causing Chris to blush.

"I know nothings going on with you two." She pouts. "Go forth fighting nerd." She dramatically waves an arm before turning towards the dorm, Will in tow. When they're out of sight I take off in a sprint towards the stairs leading up. That's when I get my stealth on. Making my steps as light as possible. I didn't need to see Four, but a dude that's scared of heights willing to go to the highest point of dauntless. Who wouldn't want to know why? When I reach the end of the stairs I see Four at the other end of the glass room. He stands outside of the fear landscape room, syringe and a black box in hand.

"Since you're here." He says his back to me. "May as well come in with me."

"How the hell did you know I was here?" I ask crossing my arms.

"Stealthy you are not Tris." He shakes his head and I just know he's smiling. "So fancy coming in?"

"I can do that?" I ask fidgeting with my hands.

"The serum connects you to the program, but the program determines whose landscape you go through and right now its set to mine."

"You'd let me do that?"

"Why else do you think I'm going in?" He shrugs. "There's some things I want you to see." He holds up the syringe and I expose my neck for him. I can't back out from something like this. Who knows how hard it was for Four to even offer. He hands me the other syringe pointing to a spot on his neck. I inject him with a trembling hand. I have to tip toe to do it but other wise it seemed fine. I smile slightly as he puts the syringe and box on the floor. He knew I'd follow him here, for someone who always asks what I'm doing he knows me surprisingly well. He engulfs his hand in mine, his fingers cold. I feel like I should say something, like everything will be fine but I know from experience it wont be so instead I let him lead me into the room.

"See if you can figure out why everyone calls me Four." The door closes behind us leaving us in darkness. Testing the waters I decide to see if my suspicions were correct.

"Whats your real name?" I ask.

"See if you can figure that out to." Of course another vague answer. I'm not even surprised.

The simulation begins swirling us from the room. The familiar bubble bursts in my brain and I stand there with Four on something metallic. The blue sky seeming closer than the cement below us. We're higher than I thought possible and I relish the view. That's when the wind starts, causing me to almost tumble over. With a shaky breath Four removes his hand from mine wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I'm pretty sure its to steady himself rather than me.

"Well heights, not much of a surprise." I feel Four tremble next to me. "We have to jump?"

He gives me a shaky nod.

"On three?"

He nods again.

"Okay ready, three." I jump pulling him with me. And we just, fall. Its a weird sensation, watching the cement get closer and closer. The sensation is dizzying eventually the scene disappears and I am once again on flat ground, smirking to myself as adrenaline powers through me. Four gasps next to me I turn to him, worriedly remembering how difficult this must be for him. I give him a soothing smile as I help him up.

"I feel like." He breaths heavily. "You missed a couple of numbers." He pants.

I shrug. "Whats next?" I crack my knuckles.

"Its..."

Something hits my shoulder blades forcing me closer to Four. I raise an eyebrow as I turn to the force. As I watch the walls fully push me into Four I turn back around my face hitting his chest. Four pulls me into his arms as the walls narrow further, the space between us nonexistent. A roof plops onto the walls giving us even less space. The rooms big enough for his body and that's it. Not for mine as well. Well don't I feel unwanted not having a room suited for my size too.

"Confinement." I nod.

He makes a gurgling noise forcing me to try and look at his face, which with the lack of space is pretty difficult. He looks in physical pain.

"Hey its okay, uhm, pretend I'm not here, so there's more room." He shakes his head repeatedly.

"Wont help." He says through clenched teeth. A little part of me was happy about that but only a little.

"Okay well..." I wrap his arms around me giving him a bit more room. He clutches me with a deadly grip like if it falters he'll fly away and I try to think.

"Good job I'm small." I joke trying to relieve the tension in his body. It didn't work. I didn't really expect it to. But it might've calmed my heart rate and that would've been a small victory.

"Can't break through this." I whisper more to myself than to him. "We'll have to get smaller, face the fear. You willing to crouch?"

"Yes" I feel his answer more than hear it. I don't hesitate. I pull him down by his waist knowing I'll have to squeeze closer if this will work. I pull myself into a ball sitting in between his legs.

"This is worse." His voice sounding strained. "This is definitely." I flick him in the cheeks.

"Shhh arms around me."

He does as told folding his arms around my waist in yet another death grip. I have to hold back a smile. No Tris he is in pain, no time to enjoy the closeness. I clear my throat.

"Uhm we need to calm your heart rate, try to forget we're here."

"That easy huh?" He replies breathlessly by my ear. I refuse to let my body tremble.

"You know guys usually enjoy being trapped in a tiny room with a girl." I roll my eyes.

"Not claustrophobic people Tris!" He says desperation filling his voice.

"Uhhmm." I bite my lip in thought. "Okay." I take his hand moving it towards my chest over my heart. "Feel my heart beat?"

I feel him nod behind me.

"Feel how steady it is."

"Its fast Tris."

Damn. "Yeah... Well that has nothing to do with this box thing." I stammer. I rack my brain trying to think of something to distract him from my little confession. "okay." I clear my throat. Wiping my palms on my jeans. "When I breath, you breath. Focus."

I breath deeply feeling him do the same.

"How did this fear come about? Maybe telling me will help somehow." I say soothingly. Hey its worth a shot right?

"Uh okay." I breath again realizing he's completely gotten my rhythm. "This one is from my fantastic childhood. Childhood punishment. The little closet upstairs."

I bite my lip again. Looking down. Now that is something that sounds pretty familiar. It was one of Marcus's favorite punishments, he'd leave me there days at a time the most I'd get would be a bottle of water. But I don't think he thought the closet would scare me, I mean I was bored a lot of the time but I could live with it. It was more the worry. The wondering if he'd touch Caleb or not that drove me crazy. I think he worked it out too by the end of the two years it became more and more of his routine. As was me coming out and heading straight to Calebs room to check him for injuries. I never found any. I feel like it was more him saying he could than he would. He knew if he touched Caleb he wouldn't be standing.

"Wow. And I thought I was the only one." I laugh.

He must of thought I was mocking him as he grunts. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay." I shrug. "I'll talk, ask me something."

"Okay." He lets out a breathless laugh. Oh this can't be good. "Why is your heart racing Tris?"

I look across the room looking for an escape option. I'm really starting to hate this stupid box.

"That's a bit personal isn't it?" I try to brush off.

"Tris you are literally inside my head."

"Fair point." I huff. Crossing my arms in the best defense stance possible when crouched in a tiny room. "I barely know you and I'm generally crammed in between your legs dude." I mentally give myself a high five for the lie.

"If we were in your fear landscape." He says. "Would I be in it."

"You think I'm afraid of you?" My body shakes in laughter.

"Pfft as if, but that's not what I'm talking about." He joins me in a laugh and the box falls apart.

He pulls his arms away pulling himself up offering me his hand. I take it as he drags me up. He stands up at me grinning like a fool. I have a sudden urge to run away.

"Maybe you were cut out for candor." He mocks. "Because you're a terrible liar."

"Excuse me, I am a fantastic liar. Plus my aptitude test totally ruled that one out."

He shakes his head. "The aptitude test shows us nothing."

I examine him, maybe he is like me. Maybe he is divergent I had hoped but I don't really know the signs. That's when he turns his head his body going pale. A woman stands a few feet away holding a gun. She stays perfectly still as if a statue. A gun with a single bullet sits on a table, bile rises up my throat.

"You have to kill her?" I try to say matter of factly but it comes out as a whimper almost a plea.

"Every single time." He reaches for the gun loading it.

"She isn't real." I whisper more to myself than to him.

"She seems real." He says analyzing her. "It feels real." I turn around closing my eyes. "Its alright... I'll just do it. This ones not _as_ bad, less panic involved."

I stay where I am waiting for the shot. How many times must he do this? If it was me I couldn't, wouldn't. I'd rather put that bullet into my own head.

I hear the shot, the body crumbles to the floor and I turn around slowly. Not glancing at the body.

"Lets keep moving." I grab his arm moving him away from the body.

Its weird I expected all his fears to be as bad as the first two. But he seemed to pull the trigger with out much incident.

"Here we go." He whispers.

A dark silhouette moves towards us and I know from Fours recoiling that this is his worst fear. What was it Four said once it wasn't so much a what but a who? The man who walks towards us is slim and tall. He has close cropped hair, wearing abnegation gray. The smirk on his face so familiar it makes my skin crawl.

"Marcus." I hiss. Leaning against the wall by Four. "You look as ugly as ever." I don't seem to bait him though he just carries on towards Four.

"This is the part." Four trembles. "where you work out my name."

That's when I know my suspicions were true. I'm not going to lie this is one of those times I wish I was wrong. Because Marcus had a son, I never met him but for the two years I spent there I felt awful. I had to deal with two years but he, he had sixteen. His name was

"Tobias."

Marcus opens his hands revealing his belt, of course. I really wouldn't expect much less. He slowly unwinds it from his fingers. I always thought this was to make you fear the lashings more and from Fours shaking I see it works.

"This is for your own good." His voice echoing as more and more Marcus's appear in the room belt in hand.

"I can't believe he said that bull to you too." I hiss crossing my arms. Fours eyes widen at my words but he doesn't respond. He looks like a child trapped in a corner and my heart aches. That's what he was when this started just a damn child. Marcus drops a side of the belt to the floor as his eyes turn black. Like the monster he is. He pulls his arm back preparing for the thrash. I see Four fall into a ball on the floor trying to guard his face whimpering. And that's the last strike. I throw myself in front of Four the belt hitting me on the wrist, it would sting if I wasn't so full of adrenaline. I grab the belt tugging it away from him before running towards him and punching him in the face.

"You have no idea, how long I've wanted to do that." Marcus rebalanced himself allowing me to see his broken nose. I smile at my handy work as Four pushes me away. Looking angry not scared. My smile grows as the Marcus's vanish. The lights come on revealing the old brick walls of the fear landscape room.

"That's it?" I say. "Those where your worst fears? Why do you only have four..." I stop myself. "Ah, clever, very clever. That's why they."

His face stops me, his eyes stare widely at me with his lips parted. If I didn't know him any better I'd say he was in awe.

He pulls me towards him before engulfing me in a hug. His lips touch my cheek then he drops his head burying his face in my neck. I wrap my arms around him two seconds later.

"Hey, you got through it." I smile. "After this you are so giving me a high five."

He lifts his head back up locking his gaze with mine, he plays with one of my stray hairs unconsciously.

"No, you got me through it."

"Well." I smile feeling the usual electricity that runs through my body with every touch from Four. Or is it Tobias now? "It's easy to be brave when its not your fears, thanks by the way for letting me punch Marcus."

I let my hand drop but seconds later he takes it in his.

"Come on, I have something to show you."

"You know for such a quiet person, you're sharing an awful lot recently."

Hand in hand we walk through the pit, me buzzing with nervousness. I never really understood why people held hands, until now it just felt right, nice.

"So..." I say as we walk through a narrow path towards the rocks at the end of the chasm. "You mentioned something about your aptitude results."

"Does it matter?" He asks staring at the floor.

"Uh yeah."

"Demanding aren't we?"

We reach the end of the path, he leads me through the rough surface finding a flat rock on the side and sitting on it his legs dangling. I do the same trying to look as patient as possible for well me. No one could hear us here, its probably the best place to have a nice little chat about my favorite topic. Divergence.

"My results where expected, abnegation."

"Oh." I try to hid my disappointment, but abnegation was definitely not expected I thought surely if not divergent he would be dauntless, I mean look at him hes the definition of dauntless.

"You chose dauntless anyway?"

"Out of necessity."

"Why did you have to leave? I swear to god if you say the food."

He swiftly looks away from me studying the water as if it would give him the answers to the universe. The answer comes to my head almost instantly.

"Marcus." I say shaking my head. "Is that why you don't want to be a dauntless leader you don't want to see him again?"

He shrugs. "Yeah, but also I never really felt like I belong in dauntless, the way they are now I mean."

I stare at him in shock. "That's ridiculous. You're amazing." He gives me a cheeky grin and I change tactics, flicking him in the nose. "By dauntless standards I mean, Four fears, that's unheard of."

He shrugs not caring much about the praise of his talent, right now he seems more abnegation than dauntless.

"I have a theory, that selflessness and bravery aren't that different. All your life you're trained to forget yourself so when in danger you act, I could have been abnegation just as easily."

I swipe my hair back in anger with myself.

"Yeah, well I wasn't selfless enough for abnegation, that's why I left."

He laughs. "Pfft please, everything you do is for other people. I mean the girl who willingly hung from the chasm and let me throw knives at her for her friends, who trains constantly to get stronger to help her friends, the girl who has and will always beat herself up if her friends even get a scratch. She's more selfless than any abnegation I have ever met."

I turn to him a smile on my face, who knew someone would know more about me than myself.

"You really have been paying attention haven't you?"

"I Like observing people." He brushes off.

"Maybe you were cut out for candor, Tobias, because you're a terrible liar."

He huffs lowering his shoulders looking defeated, he turns so he can lock his eyes with mine.

"Fine." He inches his face closer to mine only stopping when we're a breath apart. "I watch you because I like you." He says boldly a smile crossing his lips. "And I also really like it when you call me that."

I stare at him eyes wide, forcing my mouth to not drop to the floor. I feel my cheeks change color. "But you're older than me Tobias."

He raises his eyebrows. "Yeah those two years, what a deal breaker."

"Uhm not that I'm against it, but you know I'm small, not very pretty, use awful language, kinda violent..."

"Loyal, brave, selfless, deadly smart and when you found out about Marcus." He softens. "You're not giving me the look, you know like I'm a kicked puppy. And hey! What's wrong with the way you look? I like the way you look."

"Well you're definitely not a kicked puppy, you're not that cute dude." I tease while he gives me a pout."Wait does this mean I can't call you dude anymore? Because that will totally suck."

He rolls his eyes at me, stopping abruptly as he thinks something over in his mind.

"Wait you were abnegation."

"Wow you are a genius."

"No." He shakes his head with a glare. "Why do you talk the way you do, and more to the point why aren't you surprised?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Surprised?"

"About Marcus, no one in abnegation believes that rumor."

I bite my lip wondering how to word this conversation. "Funny story, you're going to laugh really..." He lowers his eyes in what I've come to establish as the 'what has Tris done now 'look.

"So you know the whole parents shabang?" He nods his head and I continue. "So that kind of happened when I was fourteen and uh me and my brother where kind of orphaned... So as the head of government of abnegation Marcus sort of decided to take us in because my dad may have worked for him." I rush wincing with each word. Tobias stares at me, frozen.

"Where was I?" He whispers barely audible.

"Uh the choosing ceremony was two days before... I think I actually got your room, small world huh?" I say trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work, you could cut the tension with a knife.

"You and your brother, did he..." He asks through clenched teeth.

"Hell no. Do you really think I'd let him touch Caleb? Who do you think I am?"

"But you..."

I nod. "He was not touching Caleb I wouldn't let it happen, he may be older but I'm the one who looks after us, I started talking the way I do to draw his attention. Caleb was the perfect abnegation so all I had to do was be awful, the language stuffs a bit hard to shake though."

Anger radiates Tobias's face and I have to hold back a grimace. "The joke about the closet..."

"So not a joke."

"But." Confusion lines his features. "He wasn't one of your fears."

"He doesn't scare me." I shrug. "He didn't start it at a young age like you. I was fourteen when it begun, I'd already seen worse and I guess I thought I deserved it at the time, I should of helped my parents." I shrug. "That was my punishment for my selfish action, and it was what I had to do to protect the last person I had."

"I should have stayed, I should have stopped it." Tobias says guiltily lowering his head to his hands.

"No, you really shouldn't have, you belong here, you are dauntless to hell with the aptitude test."

"Is that why you chose dauntless? To get away from him?"

I think it through before shaking my head. "I've never really been abnegation, not selfless enough Caleb used to lecture me all the time, I knew I didn't belong there when I was little. It wasn't till my parents that I realized I wanted to be dauntless though. I needed freedom."

Tobias shakes his head. "Tris, you're the amazing one."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Come again?"

"You took beatings for your brother on a daily bases for _two years_ how could you possibly consider yourself selfish?"

I look to the floor studying the jiggered rocks. "I told you Caleb's the selfless one, I'm the screw up." Tobias takes my hand pulling me towards him, he pulls my chin up. A frown lines his features. "I'm never going to convince you, am I?" He lets a deep sigh escape whilst studying my features.

"I always knew you were abnegation." I say a smile rising on my lips.

"Well I always knew you were dauntless Tris." He murmurs as he closes the gap between us. He brushes his lips to mine briefly making my heart jump to my throat. But he takes them away too soon causing me to worry. Maybe I did something wrong. But then he brings them back tangling his hand in my hair as I lace my arms around his neck. The kiss is firmer this time causing my mind to go blank in the sweet bliss. He pulls away for a second time.

"Even if it takes forever, I will make you realize just how amazing you are." He whispers, and seconds later his lips return to mine.

**That was nerve wracking. Please tell me if you enjoyed it.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank god you guys liked it! I'm so happy. Well here's the next chapter with some more Uriah and Tris moments. Because I don't know, I just love their friendship.**

Chapter 17

The next morning, I was ridiculous. Like humming to myself ridiculous, I wear an outfit Chris bought for me revealing my ravens as I continuously smiling at nothing.

"Well that's it, she's gone insane. Can't say I didn't expect it." Chris says to Will as we walk to breakfast.

"Oh let the girl be happy. With her attitude we'll never see it again." I'm ahead of them so I turn around the grin growing as I give them both the finger whilst walking backwards. They give each other a side ways glance before giggling at my actions. I physically jump onto my usual seat, Uriah sliding in next to me almost instantly.

"What drugs have you taken and where can I get some?" He laughs. I just wink at him as I butter some toast.

"Seriously Tris whats happening?" Chris asks as she scrutinizes my movements.

"I don't know." I shrug. "Just have a crazy amount of energy today." Uriah locks his eyes with mine a smile reaching his eyes.

"Oh really how about some fun then?" I quirk an eyebrow as I take a bite of my toast. He whispers his idea to me and my grin matches his.

"No." Will commands. "If you guys think its a good idea, its an awful idea. No."

"Good job you two are the judges then isn't it." Uriah winks. I drop my toast back on my plate. As Uriah counts down on his fingers. When it reaches one we both back flip from our seats. Landing side by side as we high five.

"What are we judging?" Chris asks excitedly.

"Dauntless stunts." Me and Uriah shout as we fist bump. Chris jumps up and down with excitement as Will shakes his head trying to keep the smile from his face. Me and Uriah barrel role to the less crowded part of the cafeteria. Laughing all the way.

"Uriah do you trust me?" I ask as we stand back up.

"Uh well..." I give him my best innocent face as I flutter my eye lashes. "Fine, yes I trust you."

"Good stand still." I say backing away slightly.

"Why do I have to..." But I've already started running towards him, I jump landing on his shoulders before flipping myself over him, landing in between his legs on my back. He lets out a long breath as he moves to help me up. But I'm giggling too much, eventually I stand.

"Scores!" I shout.

"Eight out of ten." Chris chimes.

"Please that was a seven." Will replies in disapproval.

"We can do better than that." Uriah smirks. All eyes are on us in the cafeteria. "Tris, trust me?" He asks as he lifts me up.

"I am so going to regret this." I laugh as I prepare my body for the worst. That's when he throws me, and I mean really throws me in to the air, I roll with it twisting my body as I do somersaults over ten feet in the air. I look down to see Uriah doing hand stands and other twists and turns. My heart sinks. As I begin to fall, bracing myself for impact but it doesn't come. I land in Uriahs strong arms with a sigh of relief. He holds me bridal style as we get chants from the crowd.

"Scores!" Uriah yells.

"Ten out of ten!" Chris shrieks jumping up and down as she claps.

Will just shakes his head a huge smile on his face. "You guys are insane." Me and Uriah roll our eyes in unison. "Fine ten." Will laughs. Me and Uriah fist bump, me still in his arms. A throat clears.

"What. Are you doing?" Tobias asks anger across his face. Uriah startled lets me go causing me to fall to the floor.

"Uriah, not cool dude." He looks at me apologetically as he helps me to my feet.

"I'll ask again. What are you doing?" Uriah pales and Chris bites her lip.

"Why do you always ask that?" I question.

Tobias just huffs in annoyance as he turns storming off. I look to the floor, wondering what I've done wrong.

When we all reach the fear landscape Lauren begins talking. "Two years ago I was afraid of spiders, suffocation, walls that inch slowly inward trapping you,getting thrown out of dauntless,uncontrollable bleeding, getting run over by a train, my fathers death, public humiliation and kidnapping by men without faces."

Everyone stands staring at her.

"Most of you will have ten to fifteen fears in your landscape, that is the average number."

"What's the lowest number someone has gotten?" Lynn asks.

"In recent years, Four." I turn to stare at Tobias who is still not talking to me. Maybe he just wants to forget about the kiss. The idea saddens me but if its what he wants I guess I'll just stay out of his way. I knew four fears where outstanding but the lowest, less than half the average?

And he thought I was amazing.

Lauren then explains that we will not see our number of fears instead we'll go through one of hers, we're each given a fear. Mine being kidnapping. Still living up to my irony. I watch as Will swipes at invisible spiders and Peter turns bright red from his public humiliation and then its my turn. I move my hair out of Laurens way as she injects my neck. I'm used to altering simulations so I don't overly worry about it as it begins. I feel arms tugging at me forcing me forward, the world dark, blindfolded again. I don't waste a moment as I scrape my feet on the floor slowing their movements. I try to move my arms, but they're tied behind my back, I feel the material, rope. I imagine the object in my pocket as the hands grasp my elbows pulling me forward once more, I allow them this time not struggling, seconds later I feel the weight in my pocket and my hands grasp the knife between them. I send a little prayer that its sharp as I begin slicing through the rope and within seconds I'm free. I don't waste another second as I kick out at the body to my right. I hear a groan as the hands release me allowing me to swipe off the blindfold.

"Damn." I murmur as I see the five men surrounding me. Oh well there could be worse odds. I punch the closest man in the temple. Well I hope its the temple, bit difficult with no face and all. He falls to the floor unmoving I guess I did hit the spot. I smile as I turn to the next person who runs towards me, but I'm faster jumping on to his shoulders as I twist my body, causing him to hit his head on the concrete, hard. The last three run towards me as one. I throw the knife hitting the man to the left dead center of the chest. Two more. I grab anthers head between my hands swinging my knee up to great it. The last man hobbles towards me, he must be the one I kicked. I bring my knee up to his groin watching him double over in pain. Then the lights turn on, the scene disappearing, everyone stares at me wide eyed as I walk towards the other initiates panting.

"Wow." Chris says wide eyed. Will and Uriah just nod in agreement. Tobias smirks folding his arms as Lauren shakes herself and calls out for the next initiate.

"Uh how was my time?" I ask sitting down as Uriah hands me a bottle of water. I wipe the sweat from my forehead gasping for breath.

"Two minutes." Uriah whispers awe in his voice. "Well at least now we know how you do it." He smirks.

"Oh and hows that?" I ask stretching my limbs out.

"By being bad ass." Chris winks. I chuckle a bit as I stand.

"Where are you going?" Will asks.

"Have someone to see." I say as I walk away wiping my palms on my jeans. I need to see Caleb and now with adrenaline running wild within my body seemed the best time.

"God help them." I hear Uriah mumble as I exit the door.

I make my way to the train tracks clicking my nails as I wait not allowing myself to back out now. Caleb's more important. I'd die for him a little yelling from Eric is child's play. The train arrives and with out hesitation I jump on sliding through the door. I contemplate tying my hair in its abnegation bun and begin to feel self conscious at my tattoos being on display. No this is me now, Beatrice is long gone. I examine my hands the new scars from the training, no one would believe I'm abnegation anyway. I should be proud of my dauntless. Instead of siting on one of the trains seats I plop down at the door letting my legs dangle as the wind pushes them to the right. I smile, freedom. Going anywhere I want to go, this is what I've always wanted and after tomorrow its all mine. I feel the train slow as it reaches the cent re of town. I stand as the stone building of erudite comes into view and I jump landing on the balls of my feet. I stare up at erudite. How am I going to find Caleb in this ridiculously huge place? Looking through the buildings I decide to start at the central building. Surely Erudite will have records. I stare at the swarm of blue milling around in an unorganized fashion, everyone hurrying for their all important experiment. I roll my eyes. Deciding to just go for the walk through the madness approach. There was no need though apparently being dauntless gives me a certain amount of power as everyone clears a path for me to enter, another cool superpower, awesome.

I walk into the building, a library obviously, heading straight for the reception desk below a portrait of Jeanine.

"How can I help you." The man asks not taking his eyes from his computer.

"I am looking for someone, Caleb, any clue where I can find him?" I ask casually.

"I'm afraid I'm not authorized to give out personal information." He replies robotically. I sigh rolling my eyes.

"He's my brother."

"I said I am not."

I slam my knuckles on the desk causing him to whip his head up in surprise.

"And I said." I give him a dark sneer. "That I am looking for someone, he's an initiate, can you at least tell me where I can find him you pompous."

"Beatrice." A voice behind me asks.

"Thanks," I say waving to the receptionist. "You've been a peach."

I turn to Caleb studying him, his hair has grown from its abnegation cut now curling by his ears, he wears a blue top and spectacles. Odd. I give him a large hug loving the feel of home.

"How the hell do you get things done with such annoying."

"You have a tattoo." He says cutting me off.

"You have glasses." I pull back giving him an amused smile. "You have twenty twenty vision Caleb, what are you doing?"

"Lets get out of here." He says dragging me out of the building to a used to be park come art gallery. I watch as the Erudite around us sit reading books or newspapers, I look down at myself, loose haired with tattoos and tight clothing and I can't help but smile. I'll never be like them and I'd never want to be. Caleb looks slightly embarrassed though, can't say I blame him.

"What are you doing here?" He asks pursing his lips.

"I came to see you." I shrug. "See how you're doing, feeling, make sure no ones giving you stick for your abnegation roots the usual."

"Tris, I'm an adult now, you don't need to protect me anymore."

"Pfft as if, you can be sixty and I'll still protect you, me and you against the world remember?" I smile rustling his hair. His frown deepens. "Seriously don't look too happy to see me."

"Hey." He clutches my head in his hands. "I'm thrilled to see you, I really am but there are rules Beatrice and this." He points between us. "Isn't allowed."

I wave him off. "Never liked rules. They always feel like they need to be broken."

"Maybe you should change that." He says gently. He gives me a look that says I'm about to get a lecture making me sigh. "I'm just saying I wouldn't want to get in trouble at your faction."

He has the same idea as every other faction, that dauntless is the cruelest of the five.

"Hey you're worth it." I say patting his cheek. "Now what's wrong?" He stares at me wide eyed like I'd just turned my head a whole three sixty. "Please, as if I can't read you like a book." I smirk, not everyday you out smart an erudite. He leads me under a statue, leaving us alone.

"Something big is happening Beatrice, somethings wrong, I don't know what it is but people are rushing around, talking quietly, Jeanine gives speeches about how corrupt abnegation is almost everyday."

"Do you believe her?" I ask cautiously.

"No, maybe, I just." He pulls at his hair. "I just don't know what to believe." I sigh as I give him a hug. He was always like this as a child, whenever there was a problem he couldn't solve, he always seemed so fragile, like he could break at any moment.

"It will all be okay." I say soothingly. "Remember I will always be here when you need me. No matter what." This is the way it was and always will be, me looking after Caleb, protecting him, He's the glass and I'm the boulder. He's fragile, easy to crack, I'll just burst through anything, leaving destruction in my path.

"And right now you need me to go so you won't be in trouble." I give him one last squeeze before letting my arms fall. "Take care of yourself." I say as I walk away. When I reach the sidewalk I see a lot less human traffic, apparently due to the two erudite men with there arms folded.

"Excuse me." One of them states. "You'll have to come with us."

The idea of personal space was apparently lost on the two men as they led me through hall ways and different blocks. I walk in silence as my attempts at small talk were completely wasted. We stop at an office with glass walls. Why have walls if they're transparent? A woman sits behind the desk, a woman that I've seen before, her portrait hangs above the reception desk. I have to swallow a curse.

"Sit." Jeanine says. Her voice sounding oddly familiar.

"Uhm, rather not. Thanks for the offer though."

"Sit." She orders again. I roll my eyes as I turn the chair around leaning my head on its back.

"Can you please teach your pets about personal space. They're inside my bubble and I really don't appreciate it." I'm already in trouble, no point in being nice.

With a wave of her hand the men take a few steps back, far enough to give me some breathing space but not far enough that they couldn't stop me if I decided to rearrange miss not so friendlies face. "It was your voice in the simulation, the aptitude test I mean." I say studying my nails. I feel like this woman's a threat and I'm not one to doubt my instincts.

"Correct the aptitude test is by far my greatest achievement as a scientist." I feel like this woman really doesn't get out much. "I looked up your test results Beatrice did you know there was a problem with your test, so much so the results had to be written manually?"

I give her an uncaring glance.

"Well there's always one exception isn't there?"

"Did you know your one of two people ever to get an abnegation result and switch to dauntless?"

I shrug. "Nope." I say popping the p. Making myself look more bored by the second. "Hey I was not staying there, their food sucks."

Bile rises in my throat as I realize the only other person to choose dauntless is Tobias, I worry for him.

"What made you choose dauntless?" She asks.

I shrug again clicking my nails together. "Didn't really have the attitude for amity, candor just seemed mean and erudite, please I'd rather not spend my life doing science experiments, I'm not that dull." I look at her again as a yawn escapes. "Look aren't you supposed to reprimand me or whatever? Keep the whole faction before blood deal going? No offense but I thought you were kind of a big deal why waste your time with a little girl?"

I take the hole punch from her desk and begin playing with it, maybe I can irritate my way out of here.

"I'll leave the reprimanding to the dauntless." She says leaning back in her chair, I watch her twitch each time I press the hole punch and I take it as a little victory. They seem to be the only victories I have these days. I set it back down on the table as rise.

"Spectacular, well I better get to them then." I look out the window to see the train setting off in the opposite direction. Woops.

"No need I'll arrange to have you escorted back now where was I." All hopes of escape dash as I sit back down tapping my nails on the chair. "Ah yes, the reason for your presence is intrigue, now as I scanned your records I also found that there was an error with one of your simulations, once again it failed to record, are you aware of that?"

"Firstly how did you know that? Its strictly dauntless information and secondly I do actually know the reason for it."

"As erudite developed the simulations, we have an... understanding with dauntless." Her smile reminds me of a cat playing with its food."However I am merely concerned for the competence of our technology Beatrice, if it fails around you I must work on developing it so it does not do so, understood?"

Yeah and my true faction is amity. She doesn't care about the technology, a perfectionist like her wouldn't allow something to be used unless she found it to be completely unglitchable. Shes just searching for divergence and god knows I'm the perfect subject to sniff around. The only thing I'm unaware of is whats so wrong with divergence, it seems like a lot of fuss for something as small as being aware in a simulation.

"Fair enough." I say mocking stupidity. "The simulation wasn't recorded due to my violent tendencies. That's my guess anyway. After the first simulation I basically wrecked the simulation room. So either Four was worried I'd wreck the room again causing him to forget to record it or I broke something in a fit of rage afterward." I shrug.

"Hmm." She analysis me. "Have you always had such violent outbursts?"

"Yep." I say popping the p. I almost grin and Tobias said I was a bad liar.

"You have been extremely successful with the simulations." She says. "To what do you attribute with the ease you complete them?"

"I'm brave." I wink. "I mean the fact that its always the same simulation helps, but you already know that." I say tilting my head to the side. I smirk at her in the most cocky way possible. "Plus I'm the best initiate they've got, just check my combat results, they'd be lucky to have me."

The fact that I'm having this much fun playing dauntless kind of scares me a bit. But hey may as well role with it. I picture Eric in my mind and imagine his words.

"You wanna know the real reason I chose dauntless?" I ask cocking an eyebrow. "Well I can't give you one, not until you feel how amazing it is to punch someone in the face, to hear their cry. Now that is hypnotizing." She studies me a dark smile on her face.

That's how I know I'm off the hook.

One of Jeanines dogs escort me back to the compound in a sleek silver car. I ask him how it works due to the engine being so quiet which leads to a long, dull explanation of solar panels and me almost dying of boredom. When the driver eventually pulls up above the glass ceiling of the dauntless compound I'm almost happy to be dragged into the building by Eric. He stands between me and the door that leads inside. Guarding exits, can't say I blame him.

"Nice to see you Eric, how have you been?" I ask as I lean against the wall. He pops his knuckles one at a time in a method of intimidation. It just makes me more bored.

"What, exactly, where you thinking?" He says moving closer and closer towards me.

I fold my arms across my chest. "Just fancied a stroll."

"I am tempted to call you a traitor Tris." He says. "Have you never heard the phrase faction before blood?"

It is almost strange to see Eric so calm, so controlled but I just know he's a tiger stalking his pray. This tigers pray just happens to be divergence.

"Of course I have, I'm not impotent." I say rolling my eyes.

"Then perhaps you can explain to me why you betrayed dauntless, yourself and me by entering another factions head quarters. Perhaps you dislike your decision."

I stare at him boldly not bothering to hide my boredom. I'd already rehearsed the lie on the way here. "The simulation serum makes me sick. I went there to see if they had any idea on how to stop it, so I can be at the best of my ability tomorrow." That's when Tobias walks through the door.

"What are you doing?" He asks Eric.

"Pestering me, for trying to be the best dauntless I can be." I grumble as I click my nails.

"Leave the room." Eric yells. He sounds like his usual self now and I wonder if that's a good or bad thing.

"Well if you insist." I say heading towards the door. He catches my arm dragging me back to the wall. So close. I sigh.

"No." Tobias says. "She's just a foolish girl. There's no need to drag her here and interrogate her."

"Excuse me." I say waving my arms. "Standing right here you know."

"Just a foolish girl." Eric snorts. "If she were just a foolish girl she wouldn't be ranked first now would she?"

"Uh thank you." I say patting Eric on the shoulder. "You know I'm starting to think we got off on the wrong foot." Eric glares at my hand causing me to pull away slowly.

Tobias pinches the bridge of his nose and gives me his signature 'what has Tris done now' looks. I swear it may as well be his natural expression.

I look away from him clicking my nails together once again bored.

"I can't believe you ran away like a five year old. It was nothing Tris." Tobias shakes his head patronizingly. Say what now?

"Excuse me?" Eric asks. Well at least I'm not the only one not following.

"She tried to kiss me." Tobias huffs. "Obviously I rejected her and then she went running off like a five year old, the only thing to blame her for is stupidity." Heat rises in my cheeks and I'm physically speechless. Eric looks between me and Tobias then lets out a loud laugh. I furrow my eyebrows at Tobias as Eric almost wets himself from laughter. I can't believe he just did that. Eventually Eric calms down enough to talk.

"Isn't he a bit old for you Tris?" He smiles.

"You know I thought the same thing." I say gaining a glare from Tobias behind Erics shoulder. "Look can I go now?"

"Fine." Eric says. "But you are not allowed to leave the compound with out supervision again. Understood?"

"Yes sir." I say giving him a mock salute.

"And you, try not to make anymore initiate leave or let them kiss you."

Tobias rolls his eyes. "Fine."

I leave the room walking outside in an attempt of calming down, I pace in a line of about ten feet until eventually Tobias comes out to join me.

"What do you want?" I bark.

He holds up his hands in surrender. "Just came to make sure you're alright."

"I've just had two cozy chats with the most likely people to kill me. Then when I'm about to be let off with an excellent excuse you come along with the fairytale of the immature brat with me as the leading star after you already had a go at me and ignored me for having fun with my friends, so yes _Four_ I'm having a great day."

He shakes his head as he stares off into the distance in thought.

"Why do you care anyway." I moan. "You can either be cruel instructor or concerned boyfriend, you can't play both at the same time." I sigh as I lean against the wall once again crossing my arms.

"I am not cruel." He glares at me. "And I haven't even acted like your instructor today, I mean obviously I'm not going to act like I like you that will make everyone think your rank is biased, it will all seem like favoritism not your actual skill." He steps towards me only a few centimeters away.

"To hell you weren't. What was this morning about huh? Why the hell did you yell at me for no reason? And that bogus story you told Eric, I told you I don't need you protecting me!" I shout. What can I say I'm angry.

He moves his face closer to mine a mere breath away. "That." He points to the door. "Was pay back for this morning."

"What did I do?" I huff.

"Well." Tobias replies through gritted teeth. "I'm pretty sure I wasn't the one being carried bridal style by another guy in front of the whole cafeteria."

My rage dies down completely and I stare into his eyes. "You were jealous." I state a grin forming.

"I was not." He responds defensively, turning his head away as he finds huge intrigue in a near by tree. "I was just..."

I smile pulling his face to mine in a kiss, it only lasted a moment but it still sent fire through my veins. When we part the smiles still planted on my face.

"You have no need to be jealous of Uriah." I say lacing my fingers through his. As his other hand plays with my hair.

"Well for arguments sake just make sure no guys..." He trails off. "Did I hear you call me your boyfriend Tris?" His grin reaches his eyes.

"I may have. Why? You don't like it. I guess I could ask Uriah if..." I'm cut off by his lips on mine hiding my taunting smile, when we each come back up for air I grin broadly. He rests his forehead on mine as he closes his eyes.

"Don't even think about it." He whispers. I chuckle lightly. "Can you call me it again?"

"What my boyfriend?" His grin grows larger than I thought possible. I smile with him.

"There's something I need to tell you, meet me here at eleven thirty don't tell anyone where we're going." I nod as he gives me a quick peck before leaving the way he came.

And I watch as my boyfriend heads out the door.

**WOW that was a long chapter.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry if this is a little bit sucky kinda got a bad case of the flu. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 18

I meet Tobias at the train tracks. He pulls me into his arms at first sight. And I enjoy the little moment of pure bliss as I shuffle closer.

"You know call me strange but."

"I do regularly."He jibs, cutting me off. I give him a fake scowl that only succeeds in making his smirk grow.

"Do you remember when I was the funny one? Well I think we need to go back to that."

He uses my chin to lift my head up so he can stare at me seriously.

"You were never the funny one." I huff in frustration batting his hand away as I take a few steps back.

"Anyway as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted." I give him a pointed look. "Is it really a smart move for me to get on a train when I'm on probation?"

"Probably not." He shrugs nonchalantly, putting his hands on my hips. My mouth drops open in a mixture of amazement and guilt. The soldier like instructor waving off rules. What the hell is going on.

"What?" He asks.

I shake myself out of my frozen state and carefully arrange my mouth back in its original place.

"I don't know if I should be horrified or proud about what you just said."

"Excuse me?"

"Well either you're not Tobias or I'm a worse influence than first thought. Because you like rules."

He shrugs again. "Yeah but you don't. I have officially given up Tris, I can not and probably never will get you to follow any sort of rule. Congratulations you win."

I fist bump the air in victory, generally contemplating a happy dance. "How hard was it for you to admit defeat?" I grin still jumping up and down. I'm even able to break Tobias's model dauntless attitude. The boulder strikes again.

He waves off my comment like a bad smell. "Can you just kiss me?" He huffs impatiently.

I do as instructed wrapping my arms around his waist as we kiss.

"For the record." I say as we pull apart. "I don't mind rules _that_ much."

Tobias stares at me blankly. "Tris every time me or Eric have told you to do something, you've done the complete opposite. I'm fairly sure If I told you not to jump off a bridge you'd do it out of spite."

My mouth drops open in offense, that is a down right lie. "I would not, and I have done some of the things you told me to do." I say defensively.

"Name one."

"uhm." I think tapping my chin before bouncing on my heels in a urica moment. "When you asked me to practice fighting, I did." I say matter of factly.

"Yeah, you just didn't do any of the moves I told you and when I asked how you learnt about them you wouldn't answer." He replies smugly. Damn it I hate losing an argument.

"I just don't like orders." I pout, giving up. He laughs, shaking his head as the train arrives.

Tobias stands as the train reaches the Erudite headquarters. I whine at the lack of his warmth but otherwise stand, holding his hand as we jump from the train.

"You know I'm starting to spend more time here than dauntless." The building is brightly lit which is odd considering its way past midnight by now.

"It's like this all night."

"Why? What are they doing?" I ask a frown forming.

"That's what I wondered." He says leaning against a wall. "Two things you should know about me. One I'm deeply suspicious of people."

"Shocking." I mumble rolling my eyes.

"Two." He continues ignoring my comment. "I am unexpectedly good with computers."

I nod for him to continue as I try to picture him inf ront of a computer, working with all the doodads. Nope, can't see it. Then again I can't really picture him relaxing either he seems too deadly for something so tedious.

"A couple of weeks ago at work I broke the dauntless security and had a look at their secret files." Okay now I can picture it. "And what I discovered looked like war plans. Commands, supply lists, maps. All sent by Erudite."

"War?" Calebs warning runs through my head as the pieces begin to fit together. _Something big is happening Beatrice_. The constant articles, the slander, the lies and the huge speeches all make sense now. "On abnegation."

He gives me a sober nod as I turn around walking back to the train, no longer in a chatty mood.

The next day all talk of war and havoc is thrown to the side as all the initiates crumble under the pressure of initiation. The dauntless compound a mixture of insanity and a rave. Its actually pretty amazing to watch. I study the crowd of drunken partiers as I get my food. Well I am definitely exited for next year, I'll be right in the middle of it. When I reach the dorm I see all the initiates eating in silence. The tension suffocating. But I do the same, not quite knowing what to say or do to help. Eventually Chris comes towards me giving my fidgeting hands a much needed rest.

"Time to go." She says quietly, breaking the silence. I wrap my arms around her trying to be reassuring and Will joins us seconds later. We walk in silence through the pit and towards the glass building which is ridiculously crowded as everyone wedges in to watch the initiate face her fears. We walk through to the door next to the fear landscape room, I see Tobias by the door but don't offer him a second glance. My face solemn as I try to take this as seriously as possible. This is the most important day of your life Tris. I tell myself. I see another screen on the wall allowing us to monitor Marlene's time and performance. A row of Dauntless leaders watch from the front row of seats each having machinery to allow them to see the actual fears. Nice. The row behind them is for us to sit but it just so happens to be full. Today's starting out well.

"Hey Tris!" Uriah calls from the back of the room. He sits with the other dauntless born each looking a lot more confident than the transfers. He pats his leg."You can sit on my lap if you want."

I begin walking over there with the word sure on my tongue but I see Tobias from the corner of my eye and boy if looks could kill.

"Tempting, but that means having to deal with your annoying commentary." I joke as I give him a wink. I watch as Tobias's body slowly untenses and the scowl leaves his face. I let out a breath. Life can't be simple can it?

I watch as my friends each go through their fears one by one I have to say I was really proud of Chris's ten minutes. until finally after all the other initiates, its my turn. I walk to the front of the room to Eric holding a syringe filled with orange liquid. He gives me a reassuring smile that I try not to recoil from. He pierces the syringe into my skin with out a word and I try to stay looking as tough as possible. Well as tough as any sixteen year old girl the size of a twelve year old can.

"Ready?" He asks. I give him a stiff nod in response as I march into the fear landscape room all guns blazing.

As I wait for the simulations to begin I crouch staying on the balls of my feet. I have no idea what fears I have, so I need to be ready for anything, no matter how stupid it might be. The ground beneath me changes going a familiar gray. Okay first ones a regular. I stand in my room studying its furnishings. Okay maybe I can outsmart this thing. I am no longer the fourteen year old abnegation girl who cowers. I am brave. I am strong. I am dauntless. I imagine the two guns in my hand feeling them appear almost instantly, I check the clock seeing the usual three o clock. I hear the pan fall in the kitchen, my legs try to run but I will them into a slow walk as I head down the stairs, instead of heading towards the kitchen I choose the living room. I hop on my heels as I wait until finally after what feels like hours I see the door knob twist. A man walks in silently followed by four others. Well he did for about five seconds. I let the bullets fly aiming only at vital points and in less than a minute each body lies on the floor. I let out a long breath in satisfaction before the world around me turns black. I still clutch a gun and I prize my hand around it as though its a safety net.

A trigger clicks by my ear. Crap.

"Can I help you?" I ask snarlingly not moving a muscle.

"Do it!" A female voice sneers.

"Do what?" I ask again getting the urge to click my nails. Wait a second is that voice Jeanine?

"Shoot them!" She hisses. Yep that's definitely Jeanine, no wonder I'm being so unhelpful. I turn around to where a light shines seeing Chris, Will, Al and Caleb under it. Looking petrified.

"Yeah lady, that's not happening."

"Do it!" She insists. "Do it or I'll kill you."

I lock my eyes with Al. "Do it Tris we understand."

I shake my head at him as I cross my arms to my chest. I've already been the reason he died once, no way is that happening a second time.

"I'll give you ten seconds." The woman screeches. "Ten."

I roll my eyes as I tap my foot in impatience. "Lady you are ridiculously annoying. You need to work on that."

"Nine!"

"As if I'd give _you_ the satisfaction of killing me. Better people deserve it." I say and with one last smile to Al I place the gun to my head. "See you on the other side, losers." And with a quick wink I pull the trigger.

I open my eyes again to see Tobias and a smile spreads across my face.

"Hey you." I begin to walk towards him.

"Tris." He grins. "You've had this coming for a long time." My smile changes to shock as he pulls out a gun.

"What the hell!" I say stopping dead in my tracks.

"You didn't think I actually liked you did you?" He scoffs. "tsk tsk silly girl." He wiggles his finger at me a patronizing smile on his lips.

"Please as if I'd ever like someone so skinless, weak, selfish, an idiot."He spits. Each word cutting me like a knife. The tears roll down my cheeks uncontrollably. "You're pathetic." He walks around me sizing me up and I have to suppress a whimper. I feel the gun in my hand a symbol of what I'm supposed to do.

"Please Tobias, please don't do this." I beg but he only laughs at me. I could do it, right now I could shoot him.

But I won't. And he knows it. I think back to the last fear. _Better people deserve it._ And Tobias is the best person I know. I take a deep breath as I chuck the gun to the other side of the room. I wipe away my tears and stand straight looking Tobias directly in the eye. I swap his menacing eyes and wicked smile for the face he makes in concentration a sad smile plays at my lips.

"Well its your move." I say boldly. He watches me eyebrows furrowed, seconds later he lifts the gun.

"Goodbye Tris." And then he lets the bullet fly.

And I go into the light. Literally. The lights of the fear landscape room comes on around me. I stand patiently panting as I wait for the Dauntless leaders to come in and congratulate me but they don't come. Maybe I messed up, again. This really needs to stop.

"Uh excuse me." I say shyly as I wipe my palms on my jeans. "Uh boss men, can I like go?" I say to the empty room hoping they're still watching the screen. Seconds later the leaders pile in one by one staring at me as though I'd just given them a long speech about the joys of pacifism. Or like I just spent the last half an hour killing myself which in blind site is pretty true.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask ruining the deadly silence.

"Uh, uhm no, not at all." Eric stutters before regaining his composure. Well that fills me with confidence. "Congratulations Tris, you have successfully completed your final evaluation."

I arch an eyebrow, not quite convinced by his display.

"There's just one more thing before you can get ready for the welcoming banquet." He ushers a blue haired woman I've never seen before forward, she hands him a box with a. "Hell no. I am not doing that." I point behind me. "Again."

"Relax, this will just inject a tracking device, that will only be activated if you are reported missing."

And I'm a people person.

"If you're lying to me, I swear to god, once I've killed whatever thing it is I'm coming for you." I cross my arms as he injects my neck.

"Relax, the banquet is in two hours, your ranking with the other initiates including dauntless born will be announced then."

I huff as the dauntless leaders leave the room, muttering to each other, I strain my ears trying to hear but all I come up with is extraordinary. And to be honest I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Tobias waits by the door waving for me to follow him, I do as told. Not letting the tremor of fear show. When I leave the room I'm greeted with stares from what looks to be the whole of dauntless, all talking ceases. Tobias however just smiles at me.

"You never cease to amaze me Tris."

My stomach churns in worry. "What did I do?" I ask.

He arches an eyebrow. "Well, I heard a rumor that you only had three obstacles to face." He says. "Pretty sure it's a new record."

"Oh right." I say itching the back of my neck. I completely forgot about that. "Sorry about that, stealing your thunder and all."

"I would be surprised if you weren't ranked first." He says.

I shrug not being interested in ranks, as long as I'm not factionless anything will do. We walk through the glass room where I gain even more stares. Brilliant.

"Do you have to go back to the dorms?" Tobias asks. Either he doesn't notice the stares or he's just ignoring them, either way I'm grateful. "Because if you want peace and quiet you can stay with me until the banquet."

I just nod my head in response as he walks me to his apartment. Silently bracing myself for whatever may happen.


	19. Chapter 19

**So there was a lot of stick about the fear landscape and I'm sorry for that, if you didn't like it I understand because usually I hate it when Tris seems fearless. But due to the events in her life between her parents death and marcus I thought the only thing she'd really care about is protecting the people she loved, no matter the cost. So she couldn't have the other fears of losing control or kidnapping because if it's for her friends she'd do it in a heartbeat. And the whole friends turning against her couldn't work because of how she reacted to Al. **

**So yeah uhm really sorry if you didn't enjoy it. But please keep reading!**

Chapter 19

"Want some water?" He asks when we enter. I shake my head as I begin to pace his apartment, staying as far away as I can without detection.

"Does everyone get an apartment like this?" Tobias nods his head. "Hmm its quite nice lots of room, can do a lot with it. Its a lot better than the houses from abnegation. Am I right? I mean you can actually paint them what you want abnegation your choice is gray gray or gray which is weird because..." Yes I know I'm babbling, wasting time but hey ten minutes ago the dude shot me what do you expect?

"Tris are you okay?" He asks walking towards me. He traces my cheek and I fight the urge to cringe back. He cradles my head as he kisses me and my body goes into over drive. The electric spark Tobias gives me should not be mixed with blind terror.

He pulls my jacket off as we kiss, the one place I could hide a weapon, without thought my eyes fly open as I push him away. I wipe my face with my hands trying to snap myself out of it. This has never happened before, I've never been scared of him.

"What? Whats wrong?"

I look to the ground trying to think of an excuse.

"And don't tell me its nothing." He says flatly."Hey look at me." He squeezes my arms.

I take my time in raising my head, dreading what might happen. The menace in his eyes is now hurt, the wicked smile now a clenched jaw of anger. He really looks like he cares. But he could just be a good actor.

"Sometimes I wonder." I fold my arms as I lean against the wall. A small safety precaution. As I narrow my eyes at him. "What's in it for you? Us I mean."

"What's in it for me?" He echos, shaking his head. "You're an idiot Tris."

"I am not an _idiot_." I say. "Which is why I know that its a little weird that out of all the girls you could choose, you chose me. Why?"

"Well it's clearly not for your maturity." _Silly little girl._

I feel physically sick as my stomach rolls and my palms clam up. I look to the floor as I breath deeply.

"I'm going to leave now." I head for the door.

"No Tris." He grabs me by the wrist and I lash out. Kicking him in the gut. Shock and hurt fill his features but he doesn't miss a beat as he grabs my arms pinning me to the wall with all his body weight. Yep the only way I'd win this fight is with a gun. But do I give up? Of course not. I try all I can kicking him and scratching at him continuously.

"Tris!" He shakes me. I flail trying to escape.

"Let me go." I say through harsh breaths.

"Because your amazing! Okay! That's why!" He sighs as my body goes rigid. "You're strong, caring, you're so brave that I worry for you're sanity, so selfless that I think you might actually go on a murder rampage if Christina so much as broke a nail, an idiot when it comes to the people you love and yet your the smartest person I know." The tension in my body slowly lowers. Tobias's face is masked in pain as he lowers his head to rest on my shoulder. "So never ask why you. Because to me, it's only you."

"You were an obstacle in my fear landscape." I whimper as he shoots up. "Did you know that?"

"What?" He stares at me with a hurt expression. "You're afraid of me?" He winces at the words as though they cause him physical pain and I feel like I just stabbed him in the heart.

"Well, I, I just don't." Tears fill my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. I clear my throat and try again. "I don't know." Pure panic crosses his face as he steps away from me slowly with his hands in the air. Like he was trying to calm a dear. "Tobias it isn't your fault."

"Like hell it's not!" I wince at the curse as he crumbles to the sofa. "My own girlfriends terrified of me, how can it not be my fault?" I'm rendered speechless as I try to think of a way to calm him down, to make everything better because once again I've hurt someone. "Is it because of Marcus?" He asks sorrow filling his voice. As he hides his head in his hands. I walk over to him crouching down as I move his hands away lacing them with my own.

"Of course not, you're nothing like him." He breaths out slowly as I stare into his eyes. There is nothing I've ever been more sure of in my life, he's not evil, he's one of the best people I know.

"Then what was the obstacle?"

"Okay so you sort of held a gun up to me." Tobias winces as though I've just stabbed him. "Then you kind of mocked me, told me I was worthless laughed that I thought you liked me." Second stab. "Then I get a gun..."

"So you shot me?" He asks hopefully, almost a plea. I could lie, should lie. But I don't. Instead I shake my head.

"I kind of threw the gun away, I couldn't kill you, you're too important, too amazing to kill, so you kind of shot me." He barrels over. Apparently that was a winning blow. I wrap my arms around him.

"You should of killed me."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't. Killing you would be my worst nightma... Oh for the love of god." His head rises in shock as I groan. "Damn it, I'm not scared of you, I'm scared of killing you. What kind of stupid" But my rant was cut short by Tobias's lips. And the kiss is like nothing I've ever felt before. Pure joy, longing, bliss and I never want it to end but eventually it does.

"Never," He says. " scare me like that again." I clutch on to him in response, wondering how in such a little time he'd managed to barge into my head. How I could care about someone so much. That's more terrifying than any fear landscape.

"Can I ask you something?" I say as he leans in closer, probably going in for another kiss, which to be honest is not very good for my health.

"Anything." He replies moving a stray hair from my face.

"What's your tattoo?"

He watches me a moment in wonder but shakes his head in exasperation a second later. Strange. "I'm not even going to ask how you know about it."

I nod my head. "Wise move." He's really starting to learn.

He stays still for a moment in thought. "You wanna see it?" I nod my head excitedly as he pulls away, standing up. "Well it's nice to see you so exited about getting me naked." He winks.

The retort is right on the tip of my tongue, until he takes off his shirt.

"Uhm." I clear my throat, all thought gone at his bare torso. His chest though uh, distinctly amazing only has a few dauntless flames, still I swallow my drool and prize my eyes back to his face. He blushes slightly looking severally uncomfortable.

"I don't invite many people to look at me, well any people actually."

"Well uhm." I swallow again trying to think coherent thoughts. "I can't see why, I mean uhm never mind." I mentally face palm myself. Smooth Tris, smooth. To hide my embarrassment I walk behind him, avoiding his gaze. On his back there's more tattoo than skin, along his spine are the symbols for each faction, I understand Dauntless and maybe even abnegation but amity? Really?

"I think we've made a mistake, we've all started putting down the virtues of each faction, I don't want to do that. I want to be brave and selfless, and smart and kind, and honest." He runs a hand through his hair. " I continually struggle with kindness."

"Really, I hadn't noticed. It's a good idea though all the virtues, surely that would make the most amazing person."

He turns around to me looking me dead in the eye. "It really does." I let my eyes drop landing on his chest. Yep bad idea I stare back at his eyes, they seem to be the only safe option. "Is this scaring you Tris?" He asks, smiling at my discomfort. Yeah he has a long way to go with kindness.

"No." I croak. "Just a little concerned about what I want..."

"What do you want?" A huge grin appears on his face. "Me?"

"How about you just put your shirt back on..." I say grabbing his shirt off the ground.

He takes my hands in his, at first I think he's just grabbing the shirt, but the shirt falls back to the floor. He guides my hands to his stomach, pushing them over his amazingly toned chest until we reach his neck. I swallow hard, loving the feel of his skin. The smile never leaves his face.

"Well at least now I know how to keep you quiet." He jokes. I roll my eyes as I lean my face in the crook of his neck. I feel his breathing quicken slightly and I can't help but feel a little smug.

"Are you scared of me Tobias?" I whisper.

"Terrified."

"Good." I say before closing the distance of our lips.

"So is everyone going to start calling you three?" He asks when we pull away.

I make a gagging noise. "Sorry but Three and Four just sounds awful." He rolls his eyes as he kisses me a second time.


	20. Chapter 20

**well were getting there now. Hope you all enjoy.**

Chapter 20

We find out our results me ranking first with Uriah a close second. And then head back to the dorms going to sleep almost instantly. A squeaking mattress wakes me at an obscene time and I turn to see Chris tying her shoes.

"What are you doing?" She doesn't look at me just vacantly stares into nothing as she carries on with her task, I turn seeing the rest of the dorm do the same. I wave a hand in her face trying to get any reaction, nothing happens. So I change my way of thought, doing the same as the other transfers. They file out of the dormitory and I go with them, staying in the middle of the brain dead zombies I used to call my friends. I watch as they all walk together a steady rhythm of movement and try to do the same. We march towards the pit, as the group turns a sharp left, Max shows up. What the hell is going on? I try to look as out of it as the rest of the group as we pass him, He'll realize I'm not like them, he'll know. Yet he doesn't he barely even notices me. I carry on with the other dauntless as we walk through hallways until we find a specific room. A room that just so happens to be chopped full of guns. I take one, loading it as Will does, sneaking another box of ammunition just in case. Helps to be prepared. That could also be why I shoved a knife in my boot before I left the dorm. That's when it dawns on me, this is war. With brain dead soldiers. Ingenious. But I can't rage war on abnegation. Okay Tris think, war's about to happen what's the most important thing to do? Find Caleb, no. As much as I want to run to him, to protect him, he's in erudite probably the safest building right now, me being there will ruin his safety. Then what the hell can I do in this mess? I follow the other dauntless to the train tracks, wondering what in hell I can do but still can't find an answer. The train is stopped in front of us and each person that gets in helps another soldier on, okay I can do that. As I'm lifted onto the train the hand feels familiar, I glance up as inconspicuously as possible seeing Tobias's face. Please, please don't be a zombie please. I help Zombie Chris onto the train then take my place beside Tobias. He makes no movements, keeping the doppy expression at all times. I have to fight the urge to pout. He's gone. I'm on my own, for god sake. Then something magical happens, he laces his hand around mine. I have to try exceptionally hard to keep the smile from my face. He lines circles into my hand with his thumb, probably to calm me down. Can't say it worked much. As the train screeches to a halt, he turns to me. "Run."

Where the hell he was expecting me to run I don't know so instead I shake my head as one by one we jump from the train car. We walk through abnegation, the place that was once my home, the place that I have so many memories, happy and sad. It's now full of dauntless soldiers, I hear a popping sound, a gun shot. And watch as a council man falls to the floor. Bile rises in my throat as I walk over him pretending he doesn't exist.

"This is insane." A grotesque voice says in awe. I see Erics greasy hair in the corner of my eye. He pokes me in the cheek and it takes all I can muster to not snap it off.

"They really can't see us? Or hear us?" A female asks.

"They can, they just aren't processing it in the same way. They receive commands from our computer in the transmitters." He pokes me in the neck and I fight with myself to stay still. "This one's a shame though." He pats me on the cheek. "So much promise, But it will make her an even better killing machine. You should have picked me you know over that." I really can't say being a killing machine was on my to do list but I might make an exception for Eric. "This however." He points to Tobias. "Is a happy sight." He draws his gun. "The legendary Four, nothing more than a zombie." He points his gun to Tobias's temple. "Hey think they'll notice if he accidentally got shot?"

"Go ahead." The woman huffs boredly.

But it's all Eric needed as he clicks the bullet into place. Within seconds my gun is pointed to his forehead. His eyes widen as he stares at me.

"Eric I'm pretty sure I warned you about the serum." I say. "And seeing as I can't kill what ever this is yet, you just jumped to the top of the line. Now take your gun away from his head."

"You won't shoot me." Eric replies.

"Interesting theory, the reckless girl that no one can control isn't going to shoot you. No wonder you left Erudite." I don't know if I can shoot him straight in the head though, it feels a bit too nice for what Erics done, after all he's trying to kill hundreds of people and turning even more into murderers. So I change my aim shooting him in the stomach. He makes a gurgling sound as he falls to the floor, I hear Tobias shoot at Erics friend and I grab him sprinting away. We head towards the alley to get out of sight as quickly as possible, I hear shots in the distance and yet we're so close I can't give up. That's when the pain hits, a hot furnace of fire. "Son of a." I full to the floor clutching my shoulder, luckily it's only a graze, unluckily Tobias stopped when I did. Within seconds we're surrounded again.

"Divergent rebels." A man who I do not recognize says "Surrender your weapons."

"Dude you should have carried on." I mumble as we are marched at gun point through the abnegation head quarters.

"I wasn't going to leave you Tris." Tobias replies. "You don't usually leave your girlfriend to die from a bullet wound, its not the norm."

"Good to know." The gun barrel pushes us through a door guarded by two dauntless soldiers, its merely a small office with a computer and two chairs. And I was expecting a dungeon. Jeanine sits talking on the phone.

"Well send some of them back on the train, it's the most important part." She snaps. Interesting I'll just file that away. I clear my throat causing her to look up. "I can't talk right now." She focuses her eyes on me and I can't help but roll my eyes. I mean surely you'd watch Tobias, I mean come on he's a dauntless legend. Maybe I just have an aura of trouble.

"Divergent rebels." A dauntless man states.

"Yes I can see that." She replies removing her glasses.

"Jeanine, always a pleasure." I say with a wave. Hey sarcasm can't make the situation any worse can it?

"You." She points at me. "I expected with all your issues with your simulation results."

"What can I say, I'm predictable." I once again click my nails. This woman really brings out the worst in me. She ignores my comments though annoyingly.

"You, Tobias or should I call you Four eluded me." She says. "Everything checked out, your aptitude test, initiation simulations, fear landscape, you must have a lower divergence than _her_." Apparently I bring out the worst in her too, spectacular. She smiles amuse and I can't help but wonder how nice it would be to rip that smirk from her face.

"Your power of deductive reasoning are stunning." Spits Tobias. "Consider me awed." I wish I didn't have a gun to my back at this very moment, a high five felt really needed. Instead I fold my arms over my chest looking like the cat that got the cream. I love this side of Tobias the side that won't take anything lying down. Jeanine on the other hand looks appalled.

"Perhaps you've been spending too much time with miss Prior, it appears her horrific nature is rubbing off on you."

"Excuse you." I reply. "Miss Prior can speak for her self and can tell you in the nicest manner to go jump off the chasm."

"Well miss Prior I suggest."

"Well, not that I don't love talking about how bad an influence Tris is." Tobias says cutting her off. " But instead of arguing with a teenage girl you might want to get on with killing us, I'm sure you have a lot of abnegation leaders to murder."

Tobias's comment doesn't effect Jeanine in the slightest, she turns back to the picture of calm. Maybe that's another super power, irritating people it's a bit late for me now but still.

"Don't be silly, there's no rush." She replies smoothly. "You see, you are both here for an extremely important purpose as you know my last serum did not work on divergence, hence the new batch that you two will test."

"Yeah like that's happening." I mutter.

"What was that?" She asks.

"I just asked why?" I brush off, I mean she's already been killing us off no need to change things around.

"I have had a question since I started the dauntless project." She smirks at me. "Why are most Divergence god fearing, weak willed people from abnegation?"

I did not know they where and in any other circumstance I'd want to know the same thing but with a gun to my head I can't say I care.

"Please, weak willed is mind controlling an army because its too hard for you to train one yourself." Tobias snarks.

"I am no fool." She says. " A Faction of intellects are no army, we couldn't do this by ourselves and you're dauntless leaders where all too happy to help when we offered them a place in our all improved government." Actually she is a fool. A faction of intellects are the perfect army, if instead of working on brawn they proceeded in weaponry they'd probably be unstoppable. But I for one am not going to point that out.

"Look as lovely as this little speech is can we hurry things up." I moan. "In the nicest way possible you bore me."

"Yeah just get on with things." Tobias says bitterly. "Make no mistake you will be dead before the day is out."

"Perhaps if you could control your temper." Jeanine says completely ignoring me, glad to see we share the same amount of hatred really. "You would not be in this situation Tobias."

"I'm in this situation because you put me here." He snaps. "When you began killing innocent people." I nod my head in agreement. Not that anyone notices.

"Innocent people." She snickers. "I find it funny thinking either of you believe that, how is Marcus these days?" I feel Tobias wince next to me. "And Beatrice it really was such a shame about your father, your mother on the other hand..." I feel my hands fold in to fists. "Did abnegation even try to catch the murderer? Can you really tell me these people are innocent?"

"Lady, make no mistake you will die." I spit. "And when it happens I can guarantee there will be a grin on my face." Someone edges the gun further into my neck, well at least I'm no longer being ignored.

"Anyway as I was saying." Maybe I spoke to soon. "I can control what you see and hear, so I created a new serum that will adjust your surroundings to manipulate your will." How lovely. "Tobias you will be the first subject, Beatrice however." She smirks. "You are too injured to be of use, your execution will occur at the conclusion of our meeting." Excuse me it's only a scratch for the love of god.

Tobias's eyes widen. "No, I'd rather die." He trembles.

"I'm afraid you don't get much choice in the matter." Jeanine say's lightly as if he just said he didn't want any peas.

Tobias takes my head in his hand kissing me roughly as he forces my mouth open, it's a lovely kiss honestly and I almost feel bad for pushing him away.

"No." I whisper so only he can here. "That felt like a good bye kiss, and that is not happening."

"Tris..." But I silence him by putting a finger to his lips.

"Never give up remember? What happened to fear god alone?" I feel like he didn't fully understand the meaning as he lunges forward wrapping his hands around Jeanines throat. It takes two Dauntless guards to pull him off her. You have to hand it to him, even in an impossible situation he's pretty hard to beat. A dauntless guard pins him to the floor with his knees. I lunge toward him a guard trying to stop me in my wake but I quickly jab him in the throat until another two guards grab my arms behind my back, one of which leans on my grazed shoulder. Too injured my ass. She just doesn't like me.

Jeanine splutters regaining her breath as she reaches into her desk draw. Her neck marred in bruises. Good. She takes out a syringe and I begin struggling with all my might as she walks over to Tobias.

"Get away from him!" I scream. "Get the hell away!"

But she doesn't she plants the needle into his neck and I watch helplessly as he goes limp.

"Let him up." Jeanine orders.

The guard and Tobias get up together, Tobias still appearing alert. He looks around for a few moments confused by his surroundings. Maybe it didn't work on him.

"Tobias." I say. "Tobias." His eyes narrow as he catches me and he walks towards me. Fast. Nope not good. Not normal Tobias. Simulation Tobias. Before the guards can stop him he has a hand wrapped around my throat. I choke trying desperately for air. I try to thrash my arms which the guards still hold firmly in place.

"The simulation manipulates him." Jeanine says, sounding impressed. "By altering what he sees, making him confuse enemy with friend." One of the guards pull tTbias off of me and I splutter for air. This feels way to much like my fear landscape for comfort. I'd rather see him dead than this, a killing machine.

"Send him to the control room." Jeanine orders. "We need a sentient being to monitor things and as I understand he used to work there." She claps her palms together.

"And take her to room B13" She flaps her hand in dismissal. Like I'm merely a pest. Damn woman. She surveys me as two dauntless soldiers pull me from the room. I don't make a nuisance of myself as I'm pulled through the corridor, which I must say is a form of achievement for me.

"You know we were going to use something from your fear landscape." One of the dauntless guards tell me as we walk. "But when we watched through you didn't leave us much, the only one we can really do is shoot you in the head." I roll my eyes.

"I'm so sorry for being such an inconvenience." I snark. Causing a snicker from the other guard.

"You know Eric told us about you." He says. "Didn't believe a stiff could be so reckless. It's such a waste." He opens the door shoving me into the room. It's fully concrete without any windows. Not a very nice place to die. I crouch on my knees as one of the men take their gun from their pocket loading it. Thats when I feel it in my boot. Cautiously I slip the knife out.

"You're wrong you know." I mutter. "I'm dauntless through and through." And I let the knife fly landing in the middle of the guards chest. With out thought I stand kneeing the other guard in the crotch then punching him in the temple for good measure. I look upward to see a camera blaring at me. Clearly Jeanine was more interested in my death than first thought. I give it a little wave then collect my knife and take both the guards guns and ammunition. I let myself have one last steady breath before I charge out of the door. I sprint along the corridor stopping at the corner I peer behind it. Two guards. I fire at them each bullet landing in their brain. Okay, I've been in the abnegation sector a hundred times in my life, whats a quick exit? I look around me, seeing the basement. The basement has a fire escape. In case of emergencies where is it? I turn another corner and sprint through a hallway, my body tense as I clutch the gun, I turn another two corners and find the green flashing light. Thank god. Slowly I slip out into glorious sun shine. I don't give myself time to rest as I keep my body at a sprint, trying to gain as much distance as possible between me and Jeanine. I keep to the alleys, trying to keep myself as unnoticed as possible. Knowing Jeanine has probably already sent out a searching group. Eventually I lean in an alcove panting heavily as I reload my guns. Okay I'm on my own, in the middle of a war with the leader of said war hating my guts and probably sending out hundreds of zombie killers she can control after me. Some of which are my best friends. My boyfriend now wants to kill me and I'm only armed with two guns and a knife. What the hell am I meet to do? I need to shut down the system. No system no army. But where is the program based? Jeanines voice pops in my head. _Well send some of them back on the train, it's the most important part.,Send him to the control room,"We need a sentient being to monitor things and as I understand he used to work there._

I groan. The crazy reckless girl should not be left alone in a war. Okay. That should physically be a law. "I know Tris, lets scale the one place the dauntless soldiers inhabit, on your own. Because that wont get you killed." I mutter to myself as I begin walking to the tracks by the hub. The least likely place to run into soldiers. I get to the edge of the abnegation sector when I hear a shot. I turn around, quick as a flash to one of the people I least want to see. A boy with shaggy hair and a crease in his eyebrow.

"Will, don't do this." I plead, but he doesn't notice. He just reloads his gun taking aim. Seeing me as a target, not a friend. I take a jittery breath as I take aim of my own gun, letting the bullet fly. It connects with his leg and without thought I turn and run. I can't kill him. Guilt bubbles inside of me. I just shot one of my best friends, one of the people I'm supposed to protect. Good job Tris. The guilt pushes my body harder and within minutes I'm back at the train tracks. Back where it all began. I jump onto the train as it arrives. That woman killed innocent people, turned my friends into murderers and forced me to shoot one of them. Rage blurs my vision as all calm leaves my body. She needs to pay. I jump from the train as robotically as my friends. I sprint to the edge of the roof leaping down without thought. I fall through the air like a stone, hitting the net with full force before I barrel roll off of it. I walk through the hallway keeping my gun in front of me at all times. This needs to be done quickly. All that matters is stopping the program, saving my friends. Nothing else. When I reach the chasm I hear a gun shot. Forcing me to creep along the shadows staying hidden. Walking smoothly against the walls.

"whoever's there." A voice shouts. "Surrender your weapons and put your hands up." I stay to the stone walls quickening my steps as a light shines on the guard. Peter, go figure. I sprint forward not giving him a chance to attack as I grip his throat pinning him to the wall.

"Where are the computers Peter?"

"As if I'd tell you stiff." He spits. I take his throat squeezing tighter as I throw him against the wall a second time.

"I don't have time for this." I hiss placing the gun against his forehead. "Now where are the computers that control the simulation?"

"You wont shoot me."

I quirk an eyebrow as I fire a bullet into his arm. Covering his mouth to muffle his scream.

"Usually no, I wouldn't." I say inching my face closer to his. "But considering hundreds of lives are at stake as we speak, I can safely say that right now I'm a hell of a lot crueler than you. Now am I going to have to shoot you again or are you going to take me to the control room?"

"They're listening, if you don't kill me they will."

I shrug. "That's not my problem."

"If you take me with you, I'll tell you." He winces. I watch him cautiously scrutinizing him.

"If I so much as think you are ratting me out I will kill you. Understood?" He nods his head quickly and I push him from the wall. "Then lead the way."

"I'm not going up there."

"Excuse me?"

"This is your suicide mission, not mine. I'll tell you where to go but that's it." I see pain doesn't stop his usual attitude.

"Then why the hell did I make that deal?" I ask agitatedly.

He just shrugs. "If any girl can take this down it's probably someone as stupid as you." Doesn't completely fill me with confidence. "It's the glass building." He says falling to the floor clutching his wounded arm. "8th Floor."

I don't spare him another glance as I head to the stairwell, I take them two at a time only stopping before my cover is blown. I wait for what ever guards there may be to make their rounds. The first guard walks ahead and without thought I shoot, aiming for his head. I watch his body crumble to the ground. I see the next guard run forward gun in hand to protect his friend, within another ten seconds hes on the ground with a bullet in his chest. I run into the room not seeing anymore guards and am greeted to the sound of gun fire. One on my left, another on my right. I take out the one on my left almost instantly. Facing the man on my right, we both hold our guns each aimed at the others head. Then something amazing happens. He nods at me, just nods before walking away into another room. Divergent, got to love them. I swap my guns for the fallens loaded ones and head for the elevator. It isn't until that moment that I realize I probably won't live through this and strangely enough I don't care. I've seen enough brutality in my sixteen years, dying now would probably be a blessing. Well it would be as long as I manage to remove the dauntless from their simulation. I breath deeply wiping a sweaty palm on my jeans. Its all on me now.

The doors open to two guards shooting at me. I hide by the far wall of the elevator staying as flat as possible as I shoot them. They both go down. In all honesty I'm fairly sure only luck has kept me alive this far and that's got to run out soon. I hear guards running down the hallway to my left in synchronization. Silently I slip next to the two dead bodies on the floor staying as still as possible. Five guards in total walk towards us and in a circle study our bodies. I have about five seconds of surprise and I use it shooting with both guns in all directions. I hear a chorus of groans and the sound of bodies falling to the floor. I quickly survey the carnage, making sure no ones capable of shooting me before once again switching my weapons with their loaded ones. I run my hand through my hair as I stand, fatigue finally starting to catch up to me, still I sprint on going to the only door on my left. In the room there are hundreds of screens each showing a different part of oligarch, everywhere I know, everywhere Jeanine has destroyed and sitting on the desk watching them is the one person who I know can stop me from succeeding.

"Tobias."


	21. Chapter 21

**I feel like you guys are about to hate me. To make matters a little worse I can't update for a couple of days. Plus this chapter is like ridiculously small.**

Chapter 21

Tobias turns towards me, his eyes linking with mine. He has a confused expression on his face, but he shakes it away.

"Drop your weapon."

"Tobias, it's me." I say. "You're in a simulation."

"Drop your weapon." He repeats.

"I can't." I say, the words making my mouth bitter.

"Drop your weapon or I'll shoot."

Dread runs through me as I lift my gun locking the shot at him.

"I'm not dropping anything until I turn this simulation off."

He runs towards me grabbing my wrist as he tries to loosen my grip on the gun. I do the same to his hand trying to disarm him. We stop at a stand still each trying to clutch the others weapon. But he had the advantage, in a war of brute strength he'd win hands down. I change tactics swiping his legs from under him. He keeps his hand around me forcing us both to tumble to the floor, the impact causing the both of us to lose our guns. I roll making me straddle him.

"Tobias stop!" He stares at me but keeps struggling. I let out a huge groan as I try to pin him with my full weight. "I don't want to hurt you Tobias!" I scream as I barrel roll to one of the discarded guns. He's on his feet again by the time I've taken aim.

"Freeze or I will shoot."

He keeps walking towards me causing my body to tremble.

"You won't shoot me, I'm too useful." He spits.

Still I see the unsure glimmer in his eyes.

"No, in any other circumstances I wouldn't." I grimace. "But you made one mistake, if it's between killing one person or letting thousands of innocents die I have no choice."

His steps falter as his face grows in further confusion.

Still he keeps walking griping my throat in his hand as he pins me to the wall.

"You told me once I needed to learn to face my fears." I say breathlessly. Did his grip just falter again? I take as much oxygen as possible before his grip tightens. "I guess it's finally time to do it." I wheeze as I place the barrel of the gun on his forehead. I never actually faced a fear in my landscape, just found a loop hole. Who knew that in the end I'd still have to face the fear. Karma's a bitch.

"Well it's your move," He whispers as he removes his hand.

I give him one last smile as my tears begin to escape and place one last kiss on his lips.

"Be brave Tobias."

And I click the bullet into place.

**I AM SO SORRY**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay so I actually felt so bad for leaving it there so here's another chapter in the hopes that you guys don't hate me too much. Even though it's kind of like the same chapter. But yeah.**

Chapter 22

**Here's me giving Tobias's view a go. So uh yeah don't get your hopes up.**

I stare at the computer screens of the city. Watching as the dauntless begin to draw all of the erudite soldiers into groups. Stopping their evil plans. I just have to guard the device, make sure the erudite can no longer get control of the program. Tension fills my body as I sit on the chair each nerve waiting to pounce. Refuge comes as the door flies open, I whip my body around instantly, gun already in hand.

"Tobias."

I see Jeanines body staring at me, though it's blurred. I blink a few times bringing her back to her solid form.

"Drop your weapon." I say taking aim.

"Tobias it's me." My jaw clenches in anger. I know exactly who she is. She tried to kill everyone, all of my friends, my loved ones. My Tris. "Your in a simulation." Mind games always mind games. Stupid erudite tricks, as if I'll fall for them.

"Drop your weapon." I repeat slowly.

"I, can't." The words sounding broken, almost sorrowful why?

"Drop your weapon or I'll shoot."

She raises her gun with a trembling hand taking aim, unsure of herself.

"I'm not dropping anything until I turn this simulation off." My brain goes into overdrive. She's after the simulation, of course but if she thought I would give it up easily she had another thing coming. I rush forward grabbing her wrist to loosen the grip on her gun, surprisingly she does the same to me. Who would have thought the legendary Four would be at a stand still with an erudite?Suddenly she swipes my legs from under me causing us both to fall to the floor both our guns flying across the room. She rolls standing on top of me while I buckle trying to get the upper hand. How did an erudite learn this? It's not possible.

"Tobias stop!" She groans. As she tries to pin me with her body wait. I flinch feeling something ghostly familiar but still I try to prize her off of me. Until suddenly her weights gone and I'm fighting the air, I take the chance to jump to my feet.

"I don't want to hurt you Tobias!" Her screams filled with something. Almost desperation? No that makes no sense.

I turn to see Jeanine with the gun, still I walk towards her, she won't kill me I'm too good a science project.

"Freeze or I will shoot."

I carry on walking.

"You won't shoot me, I'm too useful." I say my voice dripping with venom. Yet I see her eyes squint as if having an inner war with herself, and my certainty begins to decrease. She lets out an unsteady breath showing that the war has been won.

"No, in any other circumstances I wouldn't." I watch her physically wince. "But you made one mistake, if it's between killing one person or letting thousands of innocents die I have no choice."

Her eyes change from the narrow orbs to the passionate blue grey that flicker with Tris's fiery nature and my steps falter as I try to will them away. She's playing you Tobias. I say to myself. This is not Tris, this is the woman that's killing the innocence. She doesn't want to save them.

I feel the anger trembling through my body, how dare she pretend. How dare she pretend she only cares for others. Pretend to be Tris. I wrap my hand around her neck as I pin her to the wall. A spark goes through my fingers, I wish it away.

"You told me once I needed to learn to face my fears." She says breathlessly. My grip faulters, as a memory flows."I guess it's finally time to do it."

She shoves the barrel of the gun to my forehead and I know there's nothing more I can do, I will die today. And I accept it. The town is going back to normality and I will finally be away from Marcus. I'll finally be free and maybe just maybe I'll see Tris again.

"Well it's your move." I say as I remove my hand.

Her lips tug into a sad smile and I watch as tears begin to fall from her eyes, her beautiful eyes. She stands on her toes as her lips touch mine and I look to see Tris in full form. I shake my head slightly trying to remove the fake image but it doesn't leave.

"Be brave Tobias." She whispers as she clicks the bullet into place.

_Tobias, it's me. You're in a simulation. _Repeats in my head, but not in Jeanines voice, in someone elses, someone I'd recognize anywhere.

_I, can't. _She says her voice pained.

_You told me once I needed to learn to face my fears._

It was her, of course it was her. She wouldn't die before helping her friends. How could she?

_Be brave Tobias._

She holds her finger on the trigger, yet it doesn't click back. She stands in physical pain as she tries to pull it.

"I can't do it." She whimpers looking like a dear in headlights. "Time to try one more loophole."

Before I can register what she's doing she's flipped the gun around, All I see is the butt of the gun coming at me and then darkness.

_You're always brave Tris _being my last thought.

**Okay so I was actually considering killing Tobias and then Zeke being there and yeah. But then I was like nope too mean can't do that to people. Everyone will hate me and I'll give everyone trust issues and I like Tobias and what the hell am I thinking and oh my god. So yeah.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Oh do you remember when I said the update would be a while? Didn't that go so well. Anyway here's a nice little chapter for you guys.**

Chapter 23

Okay Tris, you just knocked out your boyfriend. Don't panic, it's all okay. Breath. At least you didn't shoot him. That has to count for something right? I allow myself a second to check his breathing and once I hear the steady rhythm I turn towards the monitors. I'm not going to claim to be the most tech savy person in the world. Actually I can safely say I'm the opposite. But destruction? Hell I'm a pro. I fall to a crouch as I open the small compartment hiding the wires and uh doodads that control this thing. Let's see what would control a computer program? I study the many wires running my fingers through them as I try to find something they connect to. My hand connects to a square object and with out thought I rip it out of the computer. I look up to see blank screens. Well it's not that one. I try to stick it back in its original space reattaching every loose wire I can find and by some miracle the screens pop back to life. Showing Chris holding a gun to an abnegations head. With hysterical speed I continue to clumsily search for the source of the program. My fingers stroking a floppy disk. Bingo. I send a little prayer as I once again yank the part out. I turn to the screen once again to see Christina blinking in confusion. Which soon turns to shock as she removes her gun from the innocents face. Thank you god.

I hold the floppy disk in my palm and with out thought slam it onto the floor, stomping on the broken pieces for good measure. I sigh in relief as I take in heavy breaths then deciding to go with the motto 'better safe than sorry' I beat the computer to a pulp. Seeing all the things that had happened today in that dreaded machine. It was rubble in minutes.

I lean against the wall trying to get my breath back, wondering when the last time I actually took a breath was. Was the initiation ceremony only yesterday? It felt like years ago. Grudgingly I stand clawing at my hair.

"Tobias." No reply.

"Tobias!" I shout. Still nothing.

"Don't blame me for the bruises." I mutter as I grab his legs and begin to drag him out of the room. I feel my muscles ache as I ease him through the hallway. If I wasn't so tired I might have cared about him being bumped in the head a couple of times. Now I just wonder if the hit might wake him up. We make it to the elevator undisturbed Thankfully. I feel the pressure of the gun in my back pocket a little safety still in place. After I eased Tobias into the elevator I press the button for ground level, soft music played almost instantly and I couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. This little piece of normality felt so out of place, I hum to the tune as I watch Tobias hoping he'll show a little form of consciousness. But no, I'm still on my own only now with an extra few pounds of dauntless prodigy. The doors glide open as we reach our destination to reveal something glorious.

"Thank god, grab a leg." I say to Peters shocked expression.

"You did it, you actually did..."

"Yeah, yeah. Save your shock for when we're actually safe and grab a damn leg." I say authoritatively, cutting him off. He doesn't challenge it as he grabs Tobias's other leg with his good arm.

We make our way up to the rooftop in silence. Which I was grateful for. I don't know if I could make small talk right now. Actually I'm fairly sure I couldn't especially with Peter. Eventually when we reach the train tracks Peter breaks the silence.

"Uhm quick question." He says carefully, scratching the back of his neck. As though I'm a spark that may go off at any moment.

"Shoot." I respond as we lower Tobias's legs.

"How the hell are we going to get this." he points to Tobias. "On the train."

I roll my eyes at Peter for basically acting like my boyfriend was a sack of potato's, but I do see his point.

"What you don't fancy giving him a piggy back?" I joke.

He lets out a small snort. "Hardly, how'd he end up like this anyway?"

"I hit him in the head with my gun." I shrug as I crouch down flicking him in the nose. "Apparently harder than I thought." I say when I see no reaction.

Peter stares at me for a while still cradling his injured arm. "Why?"

"Because I like him." I shrug again. Trying to consider a way of waking Tobias up.

"Remind me not to get on your good side." Peter mutters.

I stand turning my body towards him in a defensive stance. "There's no need to worry about that." I spit. "I still remember a certain incident with the chasm."

Peter shrinks back at my comment. His eyes going to the floor in guilt. Good, he deserves it. I inwardly check the train times in my mind, there should be one any minute. And I begin to pace, worried that if I stop for even a minute I wont get back up. A voice stops me almost instantly.

"You know, when you passed out. I let you wake up in a _bed_."

The voice caresses my ears and I turn to see Tobias holding his head in his hands. I don't think just run to him, lacing my arms around his waist. "I am so sorry Tris." He whispers in the crook of my neck. I don't reply only tighten my grip on him, reminding myself of the way he feels, the smell of him. Everything I could have lost today.

"It's not your fault." I breath as our lips collide. The spark I oh so needed once again running through me, I feel him sigh in satisfaction and I can't help but do the same, it feels like I've just come home after a long absence. And right now this kiss is all I need. Eventually though the train comes swerving past forcing us both to break apart as we race for it, Peter taking the rear. I slide onto the train with as much elegance as I can muster in my weakened state and offer Tobias a hand up, which he rejects.

"You've been unconscious for a long time." I say worriedly.

"You've been through worse." He replies as he jumps into the carriage. I don't offer Peter a hand up, though he manages easily.

Tobias pulls me towards him as we fall to the floor crushed together, not wanting to be a millimeter apart.

"Where are we going?" Peter asks. If he was confused by me and Tobias, he didn't show it. I look to Tobias not knowing the answer. And honestly from today I'm going to say that I never make the plans again. Even I can't believe I'm still alive.

"To Amity." Tobias says. And I don't question it. Amity are kind, they're probably the most likely to take us in. After all we're fugitives now. I wipe my hand across my face in thought. Deciding to slide away from Tobias and sitting in a cross legged position. I'll give myself sixty seconds. Sixty seconds that's it. Sixty seconds to pretend everything is fine. Sixty seconds with out fighting, or arguing or trying to stay alive. Just sixty seconds where the weight of the world isn't on my shoulders. I close my eyes taking a deep breath.

"Tris what are you doing?" Tobias asks, I open my eyes to see his face a breath away from mine.

"Why do you always ask that?" I ask cocking an eyebrow.

"Because I love you." He says as he laces his fingers in my hair and he pulls me into a kiss. And this kiss doesn't just help me forget about the fighting, or the world crumbling around us. No it brings me the exact thing I need most right now. Hope.

**Well that's the end folks. We had a good run and I hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Wait what oh yeah that's right. TIME FOR CHANGE comes next doesn't it? Who knew. Sorry guys I would quit now but I'm kind of addicted. So if you guys wanna carry on with this whole shabang. I'll probably start the sequel tomorrow. If that's cool with you guys...**

**Oh yeah I almost forgot.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOLLOWING THIS STORY JUST OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! **

**P.S I'm kind of also considering doing a Shauna and Zeke fic. Because I love them. If that's cool. That is all.**


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